Victoria Holt - Road to Paradise Island

"And don't forget," I reminded him, "I came out here for a purpose. I want to find my brother. I have an extraordinary feeling that I am going to solve the mystery."

"You are still thinking of the stranger on Lion Island."

"Yes," I answered. "I am."

"And where does he come in?"

"It is so strange. Sometimes I feel I am really Ann Alice ... that she is part of me. That she lives again through me."

"You were bemused by this man. Do you know, I think he is more dangerous than the saintly Raymond."

I was silent. Was he? Here was I lying in a canoe with this man whose very presence excited me and it was as though Ann Alice was there with me, putting words into my mouth ... telling me that 1 must keep myself chaste as she was ... so that when the time came for her

to marry Magnus Perrensen she could go to him as a bride should. But she had died. It was as though she had chosen me to play out the life which had been denied her.

"You have some very strange ideas," he said, kissing my forehead.

"I have been truthful to you. You were Magda Manuel's lover, were you not?"

He hesitated. Then he said: "She was lonely and there she was up there... her husband an invalid. I used to go often. We became very friendly."

"And the husband?"

"I think he knew."

"I see ... a convenient arrangement."

"It was not meant to be a match, you know. I was still waiting for you to come along. It is a pity you delayed so long."

"I think she resents me."

"Oh no. Magda is a woman of the world. She understood. There was never a question of marriage between us."

"But you were in love with each other?"

"It depends on what you mean by being in love. We liked each other. We were good for each other. We suited each other. We're the best of friends. I'd do a great deal for Magda."

"You see ... how I feel."

"You are hemmed in with conventions. It is not quite the same out here as it is at home. Maybe it is the climate. I am sure you will understand."

"And you and Magda now?"

"It's over."

"I don't think it is for her."

"I know her well ..."

"She seems mysterious, secretive."

"That is because you are looking at her in a certain way. You don't like me to have been fond of any other woman... even before I met you. I like that. It comforts me."

I was silent and he held me against him, kissing my face gently. I thought: He really loves me. And I wished I could turn to him and tell him that I wanted to be everything to him ... to stay with him forever. I almost did. I had only to say the word. It rested with me. I was happy that that was so. And I wanted to say that word... and yet, I was held back by forces I did not fully understand.

We lay there ... close, for a long time. His arms were about me comfortingly.

I shall never forget it—the gentle sound of the water outside the hut ... the silence ... the comfort ... the knowledge that he loved me

enough to hold back that passion which I sensed in him because he believed that I was a woman whose wish was to be respected.

Love between us had to be perfect. No furtive affair in an old canoe because the mist had thrown us together. I loved him more for understanding.

I had no idea of the time but it must have been the early hours of the morning when the mist lifted. I was cramped. He helped me out of the canoe.

"It's quite clear now," he said. "You can see Cariba."

"We're very close," I replied.

I lifted my face to his and he kissed me.

"Thank you," I said. "I shall never forget this night. It will be one of my most precious memories."

"We'll come back every year we're here. We'll even come back and see the old place after we've settled in England."

"I wonder," I said.

"No need to wonder. It's a promise."

"Who can say?"

"I say," he said.

"And you are always right?"

He had returned to his old self, but I thought I had seen a new side to his nature on this night. And I loved him all the more for it.

I sat in the boat. He was smiling at me. He produced the hairpins from his pocket.

"I like it flowing," he said, "but I think you look more decorous with it up."

I took the pins from him while he took the oars and rowed us back to Cariba.

Everyone thought we had stayed the night at Magda's plantation. The mist provided a good reason for our doing so. Felicity had been anxious at first but had been reassured and I was relieved that next morning there appeared to be no undue excitement about the matter. Perhaps there was a little more surreptitious giggling, but I refused to notice it.

Felicity seemed a little better. We breakfasted together. I told her about Magdas plantation and she showed a little interest which was rare with her. I fancied she was coming out of her listlessness which was a move in the right direction.

I liked to watch the ship come in from Sydney and I would sit on the terrace waiting for it. There was always a great deal of bustle and excitement even though it was a regular occurrence. The waterfront was noisier than ever and there was general congestion among all the bullock carts and the people who had come from their houses with produce to sell.

It was becoming a familiar scene to me. I felt that I was indeed part of the island. Memories of the previous night were still with me and I was there, in my imagination, lying in that canoe with Milton. I treasured the memory because I believed he had shown that he truly loved me. It would not have been impossible for him to have overcome my scruples but he had not done so.

Then I began to think of Raymond and more perhaps of Magnus Perrensen. He aroused such strange emotions in me. He seemed remote; even his speech was a little archaic. If he had told me he was really that Magnus Perrensen, born again, I think I should have been ready to believe him.

The ship had arrived. People were coming ashore. Idly I watched, my thoughts elsewhere.

Then suddenly I was startled. It could not be. I must be dreaming. I had surely imagined it. But it was! Raymond was stepping out of one

of the little launches which rowed people ashore from the ship. I stared. It must be someone who looked like him. People had doubles and one could be mistaken ... especially from a little distance.

I left the hotel and ran down to the waterfront expecting the figure to turn into someone else as I approached.

But the nearer I came the more certain I was that I had not been mistaken.

"Raymond!" I cried.

He put down the bag he was carrying and looked straight at me.

I ran to him and he caught me in his arms. "Annalice!"

"Raymond! Oh ... Raymond! It is really you."

"I've come to see you ... and Felicity," he said.

"Oh Raymond, what a surprise! Why didn't you let us know? We didn't expect... It's such a surprise."

"I had made up my mind to come when you left," he said. "It was just a matter of arranging a few things. It was a business trip you see. I had to see people in Sydney."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Letters take so long. I have written as a matter of fact."

"Where to?"

"Australia."

"We left there some time ago. So you don't know what's happened. Did you get my letters?"

"I received one which arrived just as I was setting out. Something was wrong. Felicity was unhappy. The marriage wasn't a success. You told me that. I heard in Sydney that you and Felicity had taken the ship to Cariba."

"Oh Raymond, there is so much to tell. You will stay at this hotel."

"Where is Felicity?"

"She is here. She has been ill... very ill."

"111?" he said with alarm.

"She's getting better, I think. Raymond, I must tell you all about it before you see her. She is not herself. She came near to a breakdown. It was all that she suffered in Australia. You haven't heard about her husband's death? I suppose you wouldn't in England. It was in the Sydney papers."