Victoria Holt - Road to Paradise Island

He put an arm round me and said: "We shall be comfortable here."

I drew away from him.

"Don't go out there. You'll be cold. It will be warm and cosy in here. We'll make a comfortable resting place in the canoe while we wait for the mist to rise."

"They'll be wondering where I am."

"They won't until morning."

"I should have said good night to Felicity. She'll be very worried."

"She knows you are with me."

"That might make her very uneasy."

He laughed aloud. Then he said: "They'll think we stayed at Magda's. They'll see the mist. They'll say no one would attempt the journey back in this."

"You did."

"Well, I attempt many things. Come on. We'll make it cosy. We'll make a bed for ourselves in the canoe."

"Oh no."

"Isn't it time?" he asked. "How long are you going to keep me at bay?"

"I believe you arranged this."

"You give me more credit than I deserve. Brilliant as I am, I cannot control the weather."

"I think you could have got us back to Cariba."

"Do you?"

"Yes, and I think you brought us here deliberately."

"And you would be pleased at that?"

"Pleased! I wanted to go back to the hotel."

"You will find our canoe a little more interesting than your virgin couch."

"You ... planned this."

"I could not arrange the mist, as I told you."

"You seized the opportunity."

"I always seize my opportunities."

He put an arm round me and kissed me. Somewhat to my alarm I was responding before I withdrew myself with a show of indignation. I could not get Magda Manuel out of my mind and I was realizing that I did not trust myself any more than I trusted him. It would be so easy to forget everything but that I was here alone with him. In truth it was where I wanted to be... alone with him... but I was afraid.

I was haunted, partly by my obligations to Raymond, but more I think by my experiences on Lion Island. It was almost as though Ann Alice was there urging me to be strong, not to give way to impulse. She had not haunted me, brought me across the world for this. I had met him once... and I should see him again. During that brief hour we had spent together something had happened to me. I knew as sure as I stood on this island that I had not seen the last of Magnus Perrensen.

I was not alone on this desert island with Milton Harrington; Ann Alice was there with me.

He went on kissing me. He was saying: "Don't be afraid. This was inevitable ... from the moment we met. I knew you were the one for me... and you knew it, too, didn't you? It happens like that sometimes."

For a moment I lay against him. Go away, Ann Alice, I thought. I am not you, I am myself. Your life ended in that walled-up room: but I am here, alive and I want to be with this man, because it is true that I love him—if loving is wanting to be with him, close to him, sharing his life.

He was quick to sense my mood. He picked me up in his arms and set me down in the canoe.

He took the pins out of my hair and put them in his pocket which I thought fleetingly was rather a practical thing to do. I should need to put my hair up before I returned to Cariba. The thought crossed my mind that he had probably done this before.

He said: "You look beautiful."

I replied: "How many women have you brought to this island ... to this canoe?"

"You have the honour of being the first and I swear here that there shall never be another. Perhaps you and I will make a pilgrimage here before we leave for England. We will remember this night... the true beginning."

"The beginning of what?" :« "Of shared love."

"So you think that the seduction will be completed tonight?"

"It's an ideal spot. Very romantic really if you don't mind being a little cramped, and it may be that the canoe lacks that pristine brightness which it must once have had. Outside the gentle swishing of the waves on the sand and about us the gentle Heavensent mist."

"No," I said.

"No?"

"I don't want that."

"My dearest Annalice, do you think I don't know you'.' You do.

You love me... you want me absolutely ... as I want you. And you have for a long time."

"I have explained to you that I am almost engaged to someone else."

"After tonight you will realize that is quite out of the question."

I ignored that remark and said: "This smells of the sea."

"What did you expect it to smell of? The perfumes of Araby?"

He was beside me and his arms were about me.

"I want you to listen to me," I said.

"I am listening."

"I realize I am here at your mercy. You are physically stronger than I. If I resist you can overcome me. Is that what you intend to do?"

"You will come to me willingly."

"Yes," I said, "or not at all."

"But since you admit to my superior strength, how could I fail?"

"You could have a temporary success if you forced me. That would be rape."

"That is the technical term."

"I should never forget it and never forgive it. You might get temporary satisfaction but that would tell me what I have been trying to discover for a long time."

"You don't mean that."

"I swear that I do. I would leave at once. I would take Felicity with me. I would tell her what had happened. I believe that if she feels she has to look after me she would regain her strength. She would understand. Similar things happened to her. She had no redress. She happened to be married to her brute. I am free and I will come to you willingly ... not on a makeshift bed because the opportunity was there, but because I want to, because it is of my own free will."

He kissed me gently. "Yes," he said. "Go on."

"This is a night for the truth, is it not?"

"It is."

"I will explain. I think I am in love with you. I want to be with you. I think I am happier with you than anywhere else. But I did care for Raymond Billington. He is quite unlike you... self-effacing almost, selfless. You are not like that."

"More human" he said.

"Indeed yes. You stride in and take what you want. You can take me now but that means you will lose me forever."

He said: "It wouldn't be like that. I would show you what joy we could give each other. I would make you see how well we suit each other. I would show you that we could have a lifetime of happiness together."

"How well do you know me?"

"Very well indeed. That is why I love you, because I know you so well and that tells me you are the one for me."

"Then if you know me well you will know my pride. I would not submit to you. I would come willingly or not at all. You see, I was with Felicity in that dreadful house where she suffered nightly. She was not the only one who was affected by what happened there. I was, too. And I know that when I married or loved a man I would never submit. I would be his equal. I would not be forced ... as Felicity was. Do you understand?"

"Yes," he said. "Go on."

"I think I want to be with you more than anyone. But there is Raymond. I know Raymond well. He is gentle and kind. I think I could be happy with him. There would not be the excitement I should know with you. I am fully aware of that. It would be even... no heights... no depths..."

"Which you would find excessively dull."

"Not dull. Just pleasant... sailing along on an even keel."

"Squalls come along on the smoothest seas. Mists..."

"Yes, I know, but Raymond could be relied on."

"And I should not be."

"I should never be sure. You have known many women, I don't doubt."

"And Raymond has been completely chaste, of course. The perfect knight. Was it Galahad? I expect he is sitting at home polishing his holy grail and not worrying about what is happening to you."

I couldn't help laughing. "That is ridiculous," I said.

"It is your fault for introducing such a paragon on such a night as this."