Donna Grant - Untamed Highlander

She knew what his dilemma was, but it was nothing she could help him with. “I am what I am, Hayden. I’m sorry for it. I should have been stronger, I know. Instead, I became a drough .”

“For your family.” He paused and turned to her. “Do you believe I think you weak?”

Isla shrugged and drew her knees to her chest. “It’s what I think of myself.”

“I would have done anything to save my family. Anything. You did what you had to do.”

His eyes glittered with intensity. She knew in that moment that he would, in fact, do whatever it took for his family. And right now, everyone at MacLeod Castle was that family.

Everyone except her.

“What’s the reason you are so confused?” She knew the answer, but she wanted him to say it.

Hayden blew out a ragged breath and looked away. “You know the reason.”

“Say it.”

“Why? You know it.”

Isla would not relent in this. He had to admit it to her, to himself. “Say. It.”

He jerked his head to her, his nostrils flaring and his face set in hard lines. “All right. You’re a drough . I loathe droughs . I vowed to my family I would kill them all, especially the one responsible for their deaths.”

Finally. She had wanted to hear him say it, but now that he had, she wished he hadn’t. He hated the very thing she was. How could they continue on in any sort of fashion? Not even the night they had shared when she was sure he had opened himself to her had done anything to change that.

The simple answer was that they couldn’t.

He blew out a harsh breath. “I had always protected my family. I was the one they looked to, and I failed them. I wasn’t there to fight off the drough .”

She wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but she knew he wouldn’t listen. It was easier to blame oneself than see the truth that nothing could have prevented what happened to his family.

“I have one question for you,” she said. “If you had known I was a drough when you found me on Cairn Toul, would you have left me there?”

His muscle worked in his jaw as he clenched it. “Without a second thought.”

At least he told her the truth. It may not be what she wanted or needed to hear, but it was the truth.

“Then I got to know you. The attraction between us began the instant I found you on Cairn Toul. I tried to deny it, tried to ignore it. But I cannot deny or ignore you.”

His words were a balm to her soul. Yet she saw the torment in his black eyes, saw how he suffered from her presence. He might desire her, but he still didn’t like her. “I will be gone soon, and your life can return to the way it was.”

“Do you mean dead or gone?”

Isla had already decided that either way she would ask the MacLeods to take her head. She hadn’t lied last night. She was tired of living this life. “Does it matter?”

He looked away and she smiled ruefully. “Ah. I see. You want to make sure I’m dead so there will be one less drough around.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You didn’t have to say it. I saw it on your face.”

He face mottled with fury as he faced her. “Doona put words in my mouth.”

“So you don’t think Scotland would be better with one less drough ?”

“Isla. Enough.”

She rose from the bed, still holding the linen sheet against her. “All I’m asking for is the truth. Is that so much to ask? You’ve been honest with me until now. How is this different?”

He only stared at her in response.

“You have every right to hate droughs . They took your family from you in the most heinous way. Droughs are evil. The ceremony is meant to bind them with wickedness. Everything a drough does, everything a drough says is steeped in malice.”

“I know,” he ground out through clenched teeth.

Isla raised a brow. “So droughs need to be killed?”

“Aye,” Hayden finally admitted.

She dragged in a shallow breath. That had hurt far more than she anticipated. “Will you make sure I’m dead? The MacLeods gave me their vow, but I know they don’t really want to do the deed. Ian is the same. I know there is only one man here who would make sure it’s done.”

Hayden turned his back to her. “I couldna do it when I first discovered you were drough . What makes you think I can do it now after sharing your bed?”

“Because you know how important it is that Deirdre not be able to control me.”

“You must think me some kind of monster with no heart.”

Isla sighed and stepped closer to him. She raised her hand to place it on his back, intent on offering him comfort. At the last moment she changed her mind and dropped her arm.

“Nay, Hayden. I think you’re a man who is loyal to a fault. I think you’re the type of man who wants to save everyone. I think you’re the type of man who will honor a vow, no matter how difficult it may be.”

Hayden turned to face her. “Do you intend to have everyone’s pledge at the castle to kill you?”

“If I must. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Is it?”

“Of course.”

He snorted and shook his head. “I will give you my word to end your life, but I will do it when I think the time has come. Not when you wish it.”

“If that was the case, Hayden, I would ask that you kill me now.”

Her words startled him. His brow furrowed deeply. “You think you have no other choice?”

“I know I don’t. I’ve lived five centuries in an evil mountain surrounded by the darkest kind of cruelty. I’ve been alone for so long, and I don’t want to spend another day like that.”

“You aren’t alone. Not here.”

“I have nothing to live for.”

“And if you did have something?” he asked. “Would you fight Deirdre?”

She laughed though there was no humor in it. She turned away before he could see the tears that filled her eyes. She was more alone than ever before.

After having Hayden, after getting a glimpse of what life could be like with him, nothing could ever replace that. “What would I have to live for? Deirdre’s demise? That can be accomplished without me.”

“Live for me.”

Isla’s lungs seized, her breath refusing to leave her body. She was afraid to turn around, afraid to look into Hayden’s eyes and see him mocking her.

Did she have the strength to fight Deirdre? Could she stand against something so evil? For Hayden she would walk through Hell itself.

Silence stretch endlessly before she glanced over her shoulder to give Hayden his answer, to tell him she would live for him.

Somehow she wasn’t surprised to find Hayden had left.

Hayden stared at his morning meal without seeing it. He wasn’t hungry, not even after having missed the previous evening meal.

His mind whirled with the conversation he’d had with Isla. Hayden had woken early, but had been unable to leave her. He’d sat instead and just watched her.

He didn’t think he had ever watched another person sleep before. It was a new experience, and one that mesmerized him.

She had lain there looking so tempting and beautiful that it was easy to forget she was a drough . The small smile on her lips when she’d awoken had made his heart quicken, but the grin vanished when she’d found him gone from the bed.

Then she had asked for answers he hadn’t wanted to give, had been afraid to give. The more he’d said, the harder it became. He had hurt her. She had tried to hide it, but his words had cut her deeply.

But no more deeply than her telling him she knew he would kill her.

He hadn’t known where the words had come from when he asked, urged her to live for him. As soon as they had been spoken, he knew he could never kill her.