Emily McKay - The Lair

“Did you really think I hadn’t noticed?” he asked.

Lily gave a shrug. “You’re the one who’s always talking about how smart I am. I guess I just hoped I’d figured it out before you. I didn’t want to freak anyone out unless—” She couldn’t even bring herself to say it.

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that,” he said brusquely. “You’re fine.”

Okay, time to get past her squeamishness. She didn’t want to say it aloud, but she couldn’t afford not to say it, either. “Look, about that. If something does happen—”

“Nothing’s going to happen. We’re here now. We’re safe. That’s not something we have to worry about.”

“Sure. Right now. But if I am exposed, I want you to promise me—”

“It’s not ever going to happen.” Carter’s voice was like steel.

Lily dropped his hand, wanting to throw up her own hands in exasperation. “Fine. We’ll pretend it’s not a possibility. But just so we’re clear, if I ever am exposed to the virus, if I ever do start to turn, I want you to take me out before I can hurt anyone else.”

“Jesus, Lily, you can’t ask me to kill you.”

“I’m only asking you to do what you would do for anyone else.”

“But you aren’t anyone else. You’re you.”

“If I’m exposed to the Tick virus, I won’t be me anymore. I’m asking you to do the right thing. I’m asking you to protect the people I care about if I’m not in a position to do it myself.” Just to be sure, she turned and looked at McKenna, too. “Got it?”

McKenna gave a queasy nod. “Got it.”

Carter didn’t respond, but just stood there, his jaw clenched so tight she thought he might crack a molar. She stepped closer to him and looked him in the eye. This close, his eyes were startlingly blue. She thought of all the things they’d been through together. She thought of the boy she’d met in the Before two years ago—that impossibly handsome, recklessly charming guy. That guy she’d crushed on and then made herself forget. And then she thought of the guy who showed up at her Farm to rescue her and Mel just over a week ago. She knew now that he was so much more than just that hot guy she’d crushed on. He was a hero. A guy who’d put his life on the line to save her and to lead this ragtag band of human teenagers. And he claimed to love her.

“Look,” she said bluntly, “I’m not going to just hide here in this cave. I didn’t escape from that Farm and come all this way so I could cower. I came here so I could make a difference. So I could fight. You have to accept that.”

Carter pulled her back into his arms and tipped her jaw up so she met his gaze. “Fine. And you have to accept that I’m not gonna let you get exposed. Ever. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe. No matter what.”

He didn’t give her a chance to answer. Which was probably just as well, because she didn’t know what she’d say. She was used to taking care of others, not having anyone take care of her. Having Carter in her life was going to take some getting used to. Just like the cold of the cave. Just like the knowledge that she had the Tick gene, that she had the potential to become a bloodthirsty monster.

That was okay, she was adaptable.

Carter

Six weeks later

I knew I was in trouble when I walked out the bay door and saw Lily waiting for me by the Hummer.

Spring had come early to the mountain—thank God—and the last deadly ice that had covered the parking lot had finally melted. Which meant we were doing more food raids and sending out patrols nearly every day. It also meant that the ice and snow farther up the mountain was melting as well. Which was why Taylor Tech and I were going up the mountain to the solar array he’d installed last fall. Taylor had landed at Elite for stealing, hacking, and reselling five hundred iPads from his old school district. If it had wires and a circuit board, he could hack it. And thank God for that, because if it hadn’t been for the solar panels he’d scavenged and then set up, we wouldn’t have any electricity at Base Camp. Living in the caves without light would be difficult, but without the air filtration system, it would be impossible. Just up the mountain from camp, the solar panels had been inaccessible for most of the winter. Which was why Taylor and I needed to check on them today, make sure they were in good shape, and hopefully have time to install a few of the new ones that had been scavenged in the last food raid.

While I couldn’t blame Lily for wanting to be outside now that the temperature was finally above freezing, I didn’t like it. Even though she was still inside the fence line. Even though I was right here. Even though there was no way a Tick could get at her, it still made my skin crawl having her out in the open like this.

“What’s up?” I asked.

She had her hands shoved into her pockets, and rolled up onto the balls of her feet. She grinned, tipping her face toward the weak spring sunlight. “Merc said you were driving up the mountain today. I thought maybe I’d tag along.”

“Are you kidding?” But her good mood was infectious and I couldn’t help smiling.

She sidled closer to me, stopping just a few inches away. Her fingers tiptoed up the front of my shirt and she looked up at me with her head tilted to the side, an impish smile on her face. “A solid two to three hours alone? Out in the sunshine? Away from Base Camp? No way I’d joke about that.”

My head swam in response to her words. Base Camp was safe, but it was almost impossible to be alone. Yeah, we could catch a minute here and there. Like this, this moment out in the sunshine, with the chaos of Base Camp a whole twenty yards away. But two to three hours? I hadn’t had that with Lily . . . well, since that night we’d slept side by side for a few hours on the Farm, right before we’d escaped. And, oh man, I wanted her alone.

I trailed my fingers up her arm. She had on a couple of layers of clothing, but, hell, layers could be peeled off. Her smile widened, like she knew just what I was thinking. And that combination—the smile, the hint of intimacy, the lure of time alone with her—it was like a mind wipe. There was some reason this was a bad idea, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of why.

“Hey,” a voice called from behind me. “We heading out soon or do I have time to grab some food first?”

I turned around to see Taylor walking toward the Hummer. He did a little double take when he saw Lily peeking out from behind my shoulder.

“Oh, sorry, man. Didn’t realize you were . . . occupied. I’ll just grab a bite to eat and be back in a minute, okay? Then we can head out. ’Cause we should get started soon. I mean, if you still want to . . .”

No. I didn’t still want to. I didn’t want to drive up the freakin’ mountain to install more solar panels. I wanted just five freakin’ minutes alone with Lily.

“Fine. Be back in five minutes.”

Taylor trotted off and I looked back at Lily. She smiled sheepishly. “I guess that means no three hours alone.”

“Yeah, I guess not.” I blew out a breath and stepped away from her. “Just as well.”

She frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, it’s not like I’m going to let you go traipsing around on the mountain with me.”

She took a step back herself and did a double take. “Not going to let me go?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Maybe you better tell me.” She propped her hands on her hips. “Because it sounded to me like you think I need your permission to leave Base Camp.”

“Of course I don’t think that.”

“Good.”