Emily McKay: The Lair

But that stubborn look in her eyes sent fear dripping down the back of my neck. “But just to be clear, you’re not leaving Base Camp.”

She arched an eyebrow.

“I have to leave Base Camp eventually.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” She stepped closer and dropped her voice, so that even if someone was out in the parking lot with us, they’d have a hard time hearing our conversation. “Have you noticed the way people treat me here?”

“Yeah. Everybody loves you. They think you’re great.”

“Right. I don’t know if it’s because they think I’m an abductura or just because I’m your girlfriend or what, but the Elites all treat me like I’m a friggin’ China doll and the Greens act like I’m Joan of Arc or something.”

“So?” She’d had a hell of a time on the Farm. And she’d lost Mel. If anyone deserved an easy time of it now, it was Lily.

“So, I need to be doing something.”

“You do plenty. You do KP duty nearly every day and—”

“I need to be doing something important. Whether I should be or not, I’m in a position of power here.” She gave me a small, sheepish smile. “I need to—you know—use my powers for good. Not evil.”

“Fine. But that doesn’t mean putting yourself in danger.”

“I’m not planning on being reckless, but I need to help. To do something concrete. Besides, I think seeing me do things will help morale. In case you haven’t noticed, things in the cave are getting tense.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I’m not an idiot.”

Her lips twitched just a little. “So then you noticed how skittish all the Greens are. I don’t think I’ve seen a single Green leave camp since we got here. Since that guy was exposed just before we arrived.”

I knew she was right; I just didn’t know what to do about it. I pushed a hand through my hair.

“They’re scared,” Lily said.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Hell, I knew the answer to that question. Of course Lily would be scared, but that wouldn’t stop her from doing something, not if she thought it was important. “Look, it’s going to take a while for people to get over it, that’s all. I’m not going to force anybody out of the caves.”

“Of course not; I’m not saying you should. But if the Greens see me outside, going on food raids or helping with the solar panels, it’ll help them get over their fears.”

“Their fears are totally rational.” Too bad Lily didn’t have rational fears to balance out her sheer guts. “It’s dangerous out there.”

“So what? We should all just hide in the caves and starve?”

“Obviously not. But I’m not going to send a bunch of untrained Greens into danger just because they have cabin fever.”

“So train them!” Lily threw up her hands in exasperation.

“The Elites—”

“The Elites are overextended. Right now, the Elites do all the food raids, they do all the patrols. It’s not so noticeable now, because there aren’t enough warm days for you to send people out every day, but spring is here. And there are only forty-three of you. And nearly a hundred Greens. We Greens have to pull our weight.”

She was right about the Elites being overextended, but I didn’t want to admit it because I didn’t have any clue how to fix it. “Look, right now I need to focus on getting these solar panels installed. When I get back, I’ll try to think of some way to encourage the Greens to do more.”

I turned and walked to the other side of the Hummer, hoping that if I looked busy, she’d take the hint and head back inside. But she followed me to the driver’s side instead.

“That’s the beauty of my plan,” she said, her voice eager. “You don’t have to encourage anybody to do anything they don’t want. Just send me out on the next food raid—”

A bark of hysterical laughter burst out of me. Lily on a food raid? Fifty-plus miles from the safety of Base Camp? Wandering around an unknown city searching for supplies she could pillage? What a nightmare. “Tell me you’re joking.”

“It’s the perfect solution. You know I can handle myself out there. And if the other Greens see me doing these things, some of them will want to do them, too. I know they will.”

“No,” I said automatically. “Absolutely not.”

“You need us to go find food, damn it.”

“No, Lily. Right now, the only thing I need is for you to be safe. For you to get your ass back in to Base Camp.”

“Carter, I can’t—”

“Lily, you have the Tick gene. If you get exposed, it’s all over. And I can’t live with that.”

“Well, I can’t live by hiding in a cave.” She stepped closer to me, her eyes blazing. “I can’t stand by and do nothing. I have to have some purpose here. And I know I’m right about the Greens. There is no way Base Camp can continue to function like this.”

I stayed silent and prayed like hell that she would back down. Instead, she bumped up her chin again and said, “And I can’t spend the rest of my life hiding from danger. I have to be doing something. I have to be working toward something , otherwise I might as well have stayed on the Farm.”

I could almost see the logic of her point. Almost. But this was Lily , and logic had nothing to do with it.

Over by the bay doors, I could see Taylor walking toward us, moving with exaggerated slowness and trying so hard not to stare it was a miracle he didn’t fall on his ass.

“Look, Taylor and I need to get up the mountain and KP needs the parking lot to start lunch. You and I can talk later.” I didn’t wait for her to answer, but instead raised my hand to gesture to Taylor. “Yo, Techy, let’s go.”

He took the hint, jogging the rest of the way to the Hummer and sliding into the passenger seat. A moment later, I drove off, leaving Lily standing alone in the parking lot. I didn’t really focus on driving until I saw the Elite at the gate lock her in.

Lily

Lily’s blood boiled as she watched Carter drive off.

Damn it! She was right about this. She knew she was, and he wasn’t even going to consider her opinions because of the risk.

The risk to her was no greater than it was to anyone else. Yes, if she was exposed, the consequences were greater, but the risk? The risk was the same. Almost everyone who caught the virus died. Less than two percent of the population would turn. And, yes, she was one of those.

She knew the consequences better than most. She’d been face-to-face with a Tick, close enough to smell the Tick’s fetid breath. She’d seen the dull stupidity in its eyes. The inhuman thirst for blood. It haunted her nightmares. Not the thought of dying, but of becoming . . . that.

Of course it terrified her. She had a monster buried in her genes waiting to come out. The knowledge of what she could become, of her horrible potential—it was forever just below the surface of her consciousness, like a layer of muck at the bottom of a crystal-clear pond. Every time she dipped below the surface, it sucked at her, threatening to pull her down.

But living on the Farm had terrified her, too. Of course, she’d feared for her life and for Mel’s. She’d feared the predators outside the fence as well as those within. But even more, she’d feared the dark places in her own heart. She’d been afraid of losing herself to the regimented class system of the Farm—a world where bullies became Collab leaders and where fertile girls got pregnant and bartered their babies’ lives for their own. Without an autistic sister to take care of, would she have had the strength to fight the system? To plan and make an escape? Or would she have just given up? She didn’t know.