Rachel Higginson - Sunburst

“Yeah, Friday,” Tristan confirmed. “But, Stel, I want this Friday. It’s mine. I want this to be a date.”

My chest ached at his words, knowing how impossible that would be. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t pick Seth because of Tristan, it was also that I couldn’t pick Tristan because of Seth. Love triangles were always so sexy in books, but in reality they were heartbreaking and crushing. I felt suffocated beneath the weight of this trifecta relationship, even while I knew who my choice would be in the end.

I could never pick Tristan.

I could never be with Tristan.

No matter what my heart wanted.

“I can’t go on a date with you,” I whispered, my throat thick with emotion.

I felt him tense underneath me, his whole body going rigid with frustration. “Yes, you can.”

“What about our friendship, Tristan? What happens if we cross the line and go on a date? If it goes really badly, you might not ever want to be my friend again.” I thought that was a valid argument so I turned in his arms so he could see how sincere I was.

He smiled sweetly down at me, his big hand running up my arm until he was cupping the back of my neck. “Stella, I have never wanted to be your friend.”

“What?” I gasped, a little surprised by the honesty in his tone.

“I’ve always wanted to be so much more than friends,” he promised and then leaned forward like he was going to kiss me.

My heart sped up and pounded clumsily in my chest like it was desperately trying to work right. My fingers curled in anticipation and my stomach flip-flopped with nerves. Because even while my body screamed for our lips to connect, my brain, heart and soul pushed on the brakes so violently I felt like pitching forward and getting checked for whiplash.

“Tristan, I-“

“Stella?” Seth barked from the driveway.

Oh, no.

I stood up immediately, but the swing came flying forward and clipped me in the back of the knees so that I fell back, directly onto Tristan’s lap. Tristan caught me with two hands on my waist, which was a sweet gesture, but completely the wrong time for him to be putting his hands all over me.

“Stella,” Seth bellowed, stalking towards us.

Tristan pushed me up, depositing me into standing, before he jumped off the swing, marching toward Seth. “Back off, man. Can’t you see she fell?”

“And that gives you the excuse to put your hands all over her?” Seth growled.

“Yeah, it does.” Tristan stomped down the porch stairs and met Seth stride for stride until they were staring each other down, just inches apart. While Tristan was technically taller than Seth, Seth was…. an Angel.

I truly believed Tristan could kick any human’s ass. But the fight wasn’t exactly fair when Seth could fly .

“She’s not yours to touch, Tristan,” Seth’s voice was low and threatening. Even the hairs on the back of my neck stood up at his obvious intent to harm anything that didn’t heed his warning. “You need to back off.”

“When she decides that, Seth ,” Tristan matched his tone, just as pissed off, just as scary, “Then I’ll back off.”

Ugh, it was the Valentine’s Day dance all over again! Only that night I had been on Seth’s arm and we had been having a really good time.

Until Tristan asked to dance with me.

Then the night ended in a bloody fistfight that got both boys suspended from school for three days. It was humiliating, just like they were humiliating me now. But they didn’t seem to care. The caveman instincts had kicked in and they were consciously unable to think or function rationally.

“Seth, Tristan, get the hell away from each other right now,” Jupiter shouted from across the drive. When neither boy made a move to step back, he reiterated, “Now, boys, or I’ll make you very sorry you didn’t listen.”

Seth stepped down first, his body vibrating with rage, his glow hot and bright. He never took his eyes off Tristan, never softened his expression. He just walked between Tristan and me and stood there with crossed arms, and spread apart feet. The message was clear.

“I’ll call you later, Stel,” Tristan called out as he turned to hop back into his truck. “Or you can call me when you finally get some time alone.”

I didn’t know what to say and Tristan was already in his truck with the door slammed shut so I just waved as he drove away. His dirty truck swerved and fishtailed in his haste to get out of here.

But even after his truck was off our drive and out on the highway, Seth made no move to relax.

“Stella,” he growled with his back to me.

“I’m just as mad at you, so don’t start with me,” I hissed quickly before he thought he could behave like that and get away with it.

He was silent for a few moments, his shoulders tight with tension. Slowly, he turned around to face me and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. His expression was purely frustrated anger; his lips were thinned into a disappointed line. But it was his damaged and vulnerable eyes that broke my heart. It was the disappointment that was the biggest blow; it was the shattering of my heart when he looked at me like that.

“Stella, he doesn’t get to touch you,” Seth stated plainly.

I steeled my resolve and jutted my chin. I wasn’t a piece of property and I wasn’t already betrothed. “Didn’t we already have this conversation earlier? I’m taking my time.”

“And breaking my heart while you do it. Do you want there to be no trust between us? Are you trying to damage everything that could be good?” He demanded.

I felt sick at his words, physically ill. “Seth, I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m just trying to….” I looked away before I could finish. It wasn’t fair that his golden eyes could so easily undo me. “I’m just trying to figure me out.”

A ripple of emotion swept the atmosphere around Seth at my words, it was strong enough that I forced myself to look at him, to make sure he was…. Ok. He held my gaze easily, effortlessly, and I supposed he always would, I supposed that was one of his superpowers. He was the other half of me and I was fighting against a destiny I couldn’t control.

“Be careful you don’t lose me in an effort to find you, Stella,” he warned ominously. “Trust someone that knows, you won’t ever be whole without me, you can’t be complete without me. You have feelings for him fine, but I am your future, I was made specifically for you. He’s just a distraction that’s keeping you from everything you were meant to have.”

He walked away then, cold and withdrawn. He was warning me about losing him, but I was starting to wonder if I already had.

I woke on a loud gasp sometime after midnight. I was strung tight with anxiety, my body completely battle-ready.

I felt the danger he was in, but I still hesitated, taking a moment to stretch and adjusting to waking up from a dead sleep. Chances were Seth was just having a bad dream, something we realized drew all kinds of Darkness to him while he slept.

Ever since Jupiter and Seth moved in a few miles away, I’d been waking up on occasion, feeling the Darkness as it hovered over him. He didn’t realize the danger he was in, or that he needed to be woken up. It was like night terrors for Angels.

Part of me thought about just calling Jupiter and letting him deal with it. Seth had been overbearing and rude today and then I’d spent the rest of my day feeling guilty, when I hadn’t even done anything wrong. I turned Tristan down for his date. And I wasn’t going to let him kiss me.

Still I was punished.

Ok, I wasn’t that callous, I knew I was in the wrong too. But right now I didn’t feel like doing anything about it.