Rachel Higginson - Sunburst

I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t even pretend to be thinking this through. My hands now clutched at his wet t-shirt, desperate for some foundation to hold on to.

“That won’t happen again,” he promised. And then he placed a kiss where he already held his lips. I shivered and leaned into him, unable to help myself.

He kissed me again. And then he kissed the curve of my jaw. My temple. My cheek. The corner of my mouth.

Oh, god.

“Seth,” I gasped stronger than before, a clear warning to stop.

My heart was hammering inside my chest, desperate and confused. My blood was hot and my skin burning with my glow. This was…. confusing.

Seth tensed and froze. His face was still dangerously close to mine, his lips still hovering, poised to make contact. I knew with the smallest encouragement he would kiss me again.

But it would be more than a kiss. I had a link to his emotions and I could feel his desire . It wouldn’t just be a kiss. It would be life-changing.

He would shake up everything.

And maybe I wanted that. Maybe I wanted that certainty, that final sign that this was my destiny.

But then maybe I didn’t? Maybe a huge part of me felt- albeit irrational- like I was betraying Tristan. If I gave in to Seth, it would be like none of my feelings for Tristan mattered. Or like he didn’t occupy a huge piece of my heart.

Because he did.

And even if nothing could happen between Tristan and me…. ever, I still wasn’t willing to just turn my back on those very real feelings and give up completely.

“Don’t do this, Stella,” Seth growled but then backed away.

He finally released me and jerked two hands through his tangled hair. His skin was still alight and tensed, his muscles standing out perfectly. His amber eyes were shining gold and they flashed at me with frustrated anger.

“Seth, I’m not ready for this,” I mumbled, knowing it didn’t matter what I was ready for. The Darkness had proved that time and time again. “This needs to happen naturally.” That was a lie. I was stalling and he knew it.

He shook his head, shooting me an arrogant glare. “Don’t push me away,” he demanded. I jumped at the authoritative tone. “You want this to happen naturally? This is as natural as it gets.” He took another step back and then pinned me in place with an expression so dangerous, so honest I stopped breathing. He was such a force of nature.

These were the moments when I knew we would ultimately win against Aliah and all his minions. These were the moments I knew they didn’t stand a chance. But then I had to wonder if I did either? “It is unnatural for me to stay away from you. To not kiss you every single time I want to. I should be able to claim you, Stella. You should be mine.”

I gulped against everything his speech insinuated. Um. I couldn’t even work that out right now. So I got angry instead. “You told me we would take this slow! You told me I didn’t have to do anything I wasn’t ready for.”

He was primed with the retort, “I didn’t realize taking it slow meant I had to compete for your affection! We’re young. I knew you weren’t ready for the whole life-long commitment thing and everything that entailed. I told you we would take it slow so that you didn’t feel pressured to get married !”

“I need more time, Seth,” I finished the argument in a broken plea.

“Fine,” he slammed his hand down on the work table, my katanas jumped and clanged together at the impact. “You take your time. I’ll just be waiting in the wings whenever you realize Tristan is not the man for you. Can never be the man for you.”

“Seth, you don’t have to-“

“Yes, I do!” His voice was just barely under a shout; he was pissed off to the max. “For me, there is no one else. And I will never pretend otherwise.” His eyes flashed with more pain than I had ever seen in them before. My heart cracked down the middle when I realized this was causing him as much pain as his sister. That I was causing him so much pain. “There’s no one else for me, Stella. I won’t pretend differently. And that’s Ok with me because I don’t want anyone different. I just want you . I just want you to recognize me for who I am, to know that I’m yours. So that we can be together. So that I can come home to you.”

I winced and smashed my lips together so I wouldn’t make promises I didn’t, couldn’t mean.

How could I even argue against that? Why did he have to be so damn perfect?

He looked at me momentarily, shook his head, and turned away. His shoulders were stiff and rigid, and I wanted nothing more than to walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder like he did to me. But I knew I couldn’t.

Not after all that.

And it seemed he knew that, too, because the next time I blinked he was already out the door and gone.

And I was left more confused than ever.

I probably would have stayed there too, in my soaking clothes with a million thoughts tumbling through my head, but another whispered, “Stella…..” from the rafters had me chasing after Seth and finding refuge in my old farmhouse.

I seriously needed to deal with Seven pronto. Enemy number one.

And then I would deal with Seth and all this confusion.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jupiter’s gruff voice demanded as soon as I was safe in my kitchen. He startled me and I jumped, whipping around to face him. He probably would have caused my heart to stutter, but it was already pounding away in my chest. He was scowling at me, waiting for an answer.

To be fair to him, I was staring at the kitchen door like it was made out of poisonous snakes with their fangs dripping, poised to bite me. But honestly I felt like at any minute Seven was going to burst through it and chop my head off with her extra-long fingernails.

All the way off.

And did Seven have extra-long fingernails? I didn’t really know. But that alone seemed crazy. And Seven was the epitome of crazy to me.

“Starling?” he asked with a deeper tone. He sounded meaner, even impatient, but I knew him enough by now that I recognized his concern.

“I thought I heard….” I paused to clear my throat. “I thought I heard Seven.”

A charged silence met my confession before Jupiter brushed by me and slammed through the mud room and out the kitchen door. The window pane rattled with the force of the door shutting and I took a startled step back from the crash of it.

“Stella?” my dad called from the living room.

For a few more seconds I stared at the door again, this time in total confusion. I didn’t know what Jupiter was doing, or why he felt the need to leave so aggressively. But the gesture felt…. protective? Maybe?

In the few months I had known him I was still struggling to figure him out. He was old, really, really old. Like nine hundred years old. And he wasn’t exactly from this planet. Although since Jupiter was his original home, he was technically from this galaxy . He might not be human but he shared a galactical genetic code with humanity. And as the final survivor from his planet, he had sworn an allegiance to protect Earth from the threat that ultimately destroyed his home.

The threat that was now trying to destroy this one.

“Dad?” I asked when I walked to the living room and found him sitting on the couch reading the Omaha World Herald . My dad- one of the greatest Warriors of his generation, father to the future protector of Earth, husband to a retired Sun, Angel-extraordinaire- was very concerned about local politics.

At least he wasn’t reading the Farmer’s Almanac…. which had been known to happen.