Sondrae Bennett - Chasing Paradise

“I wish I could forget those words too, Ethan. But the fact is, I can’t. I don’t blame you for them and I’m not angry…well, not anymore. I was. I was so angry with you for thinking I wasn’t good enough because, damn it–” Gwen slammed her hand down on the table, causing the silverware to jump with a clatter. “I am good enough and I deserve a mate who wants me.” Gwen paused, taking a moment to collect herself. “But I do believe you said what you said for a reason. I can’t just pretend that reason doesn’t exist. I won’t set myself up for a fall like that.”

Gwen hoped Ethan understood. She wasn’t trying to make things tense between them, and she wasn’t trying to be difficult. Already, Ethan had given her more than she’d ever expected out of this union. Inadvertently, he’d also given her a new direction in life with the B&B, a direction she was looking forward to pursuing. But she couldn’t just forget what had happened. She couldn’t ignore the so-called elephant in their relationship.

It wasn’t just about holding on to her hurt. It was about protecting herself. Protecting her heart. Ethan had more power than he realized.

After their first night together, Gwen had honestly believed she was falling in love with him. Maybe it was naive after only one night together, but he was her mate, after all.

Hearing his words in the bar afterward had been a blow, not just to her pride, but to her heart. If she let herself pretend those words never existed, she’d be setting herself up for an even bigger fall. And that was something she couldn’t do. She wouldn’t survive another fall.

Hopefully Ethan understood. She didn’t blame him for his feelings. But she couldn’t allow herself to forget.

Ethan stared at the top of Gwen’s head as she pushed the food around her plate. Her dejected pose tore at him. He didn’t blame her for her feelings. Learning to trust him again wasn’t something she could will herself to do. Trust had to be earned.

Whatever it took to take away those careless words, he’d do and more. He’d fix this and after he had, he’d make sure she never doubted exactly how important she was to him again.

“It’s okay, Gwen. I understand.” Her head shot up, her surprised gaze meeting his. “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to do everything in my power to change it.” Ethan sent her a dazzling and slightly wicked grin. The tentative smile that curved her lips lightened his soul.

Picking up his fork, Ethan dug into his dinner, hoping she would follow suit. Silence reigned until Gwen’s soft voice drifted toward him. “It’s this beautiful gray Victorian house. There’s a creek running through the backyard that feeds into a pond. It’s smaller than the ocean but large enough to put some live fish in for hunting, and the whole yard is surrounded by forests.”

Joy lit up in Gwen’s face as she described the house. Her pleasure in the inn was obvious, and for just a moment, Ethan’s jealousy soared. He shook his head. Jealous of a house, he never thought he’d see the day.

“There’s this one room inside the turret. The room is circular with windows on every wall, everywhere you look. In the morning, the sun will flood into the whole room and already I can picture pale, cream-colored walls with a bold canopy bed in green or maybe chocolate brown. There’s life in every room, a vision for every space.”

Her eyes shone. Her pleasure made her come alive with every word. This was her gift to him, he realized. Opening up and showing him this little piece of her heart. It wasn’t much, but it indicated a crack in the wall between them. He’d work on that crack until the whole wall collapsed.

“It sounds perfect,” Her smile widened at his honest reply and his chest swelled. Bringing her pleasure made him feel ten feet tall.

“It is. We’ll get it. We’ll pay full price if we need to, but we low-balled them. I want to see how low the seller is willing to go. There’s not a big market for a house that size.”

Sitting was suddenly very uncomfortable as he stiffened under the table. Hearing Gwen’s savvy businesswoman come out was a powerful aphrodisiac apparently. Who knew what a turn on a woman with a brain would be for him? He glanced down at her half-eaten dinner. He really should let her finish before dragging her upstairs for dessert.

Gwen stared blankly into his eyes for a moment before pushing her plate aside, standing, and very deliberately crossing to the doorway into the living room. Had he said something wrong? At the doorway, she turned around and glanced back at him.

“Are you coming?” she asked, a sparkle in her eyes.

“Coming where?”

In answer, Gwen deliberately untied her bathrobe and let it slide to the floor.

“Where that look on your face promised to take us both.”

Ethan stared for a moment at her retreating back, unable to believe this was the same woman who’d asked him to turn off the lights the first time they made love.

As her feet hit the first stair on her way to their bedroom, Ethan shot out of his chair and raced to her, swinging her into his arms. She squealed and giggled, her arms wrapping around his neck as he carried her up the stairs and into bed.

Gwen looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Even though Ethan had more than proven he loved her body over the past couple weeks, she still thought she could stand to lose a few pounds. Although if they kept up the bedroom gymnastics they’d been doing, it wouldn’t be too hard. Still, the outfit was hot. She never would have picked out the corseted teddy look, but the sales woman had shoved it into the fitting room for her to try on. It would have been rude not to at least look at it. The results were surprising to say the least.

Another trip to that store was definitely in order if tonight went well. Gwen turned around, examining the back side. In reality, the corset didn’t really support all that much. There wasn’t enough cloth for that. But the illusion of support and the strategic peeks of flesh were damn sexy. The transformation downright stunned her. She hardly recognized the woman in the mirror, or that wicked smile sporting her lips.

The kitchen timer going off startled her. Here she was woolgathering when she needed to get downstairs and finish dinner. Ethan would be home any minute and she wanted everything to be perfect. The past couple weeks had been better than she could have dreamed. Ethan had been treating her like a queen. And while she loved the attention he paid her, she was beginning to feel a bit…selfish. He was always cooking her meals, watching movies she wanted to watch, and making her laugh. Well, it was time to repay the favor. The whole night would be all about him.

Gwen had gotten the recipe for one of his favorite meals from his mother. She’d even rented one of those action movies with no plot but with lots of explosions and fighting. And of course, there was the outfit. But it wouldn’t do any good to burn the meal. Leaving the bathroom, she hurried down the stairs and walked quickly into the kitchen. She’d barely passed the archway that separated the room from the rest of the house, when Ethan walked through the door at the side of the room leading to the garage. They both froze, staring at each other across the room. Ethan’s hand hovered over the counter, clutching the mail in a fist.

Clearing her throat and pushing down her nerves, Gwen chirped, “Hi, honey. Welcome home.” If only she could read his expression, she wouldn’t be so nervous. But he remained silent, his assessing eyes raking her form. Maybe this had been a horrible idea.

Just as she turned, ready to rush up the stairs and forget this whole bad idea had ever come to her, Ethan pounced. Leaping across the room, he spun her around, and took her mouth in a consuming kiss. Heat blasted through her, melting her bones until her legs gave out on her.