Sondrae Bennett - Chasing Paradise

Ethan was acting strange, too. Jason had attributed his anxiety to being apart from his mate, but now Jason wondered if there was something else going on, something deeper.

It couldn’t be easy for Gwen having to move away from her family and everything she knew. He was glad she had plans to open a business here and thrilled her friend would be joining her. It would make the transition easier and give her someone from her home to take comfort in. She was not just a part of his pack now, she was a part of his family. He’d have to make sure Samantha and his sisters did everything possible to make them feel welcome.

It took all his willpower to wait until she came through the front door of his house before pouncing. Not seeing Gwen for almost a week had been pure torture. When she’d called from the road, letting him know she and Alyssa were almost to town, he’d rushed home, needing to see her the second she arrived at his place. No, their place. Now that his mate was here, his wolf was done waiting.

The past few days, he’d been irritable to such an extreme his family and friends had avoided him like the plague. Jason and Danny had even kicked him out of the office yesterday because they couldn’t take his brooding anymore. The reason was the absence of the doe-eyed woman in front of him. He never wanted to be separated from her again. As soon as the door closed behind her, nothing stood in his way.

Pulling Gwen firmly against him, Ethan claimed her mouth in a scorching kiss, his hips grinding against hers through their clothing. As her arms reached up and circled his neck, pulling herself flush against his body, a small whimper of need escaped her and Ethan’s control snapped.

His claws tore the clothes from her body as his mouth continued to plunder hers. He released her lips only once they were both naked.

“Are you ready for me, Gwen? I can’t wait much longer.”

“I’m ready. I can’t wait, either.” Her breath fell hot against his shoulder as he thrust into her welcoming heat. She arched her back, pushing her chest into him at the invasion, but her moan told him she was just as wrapped up in the pleasure as he was.

Knowing he wasn’t going to last long, Ethan leaned over Gwen and covered the small mating scar on her shoulder with his mouth.

She must have sensed his intent, tilting her head to the side to give him better access to her throat. The desperation in her moans matched the thrumming in his blood, and Ethan knew he was on the brink of a powerful explosion. There was only one way to guarantee she came with him.

The sting in his gums signaled the emergence of his canines, allowing him to bite down on the small scar on Gwen’s shoulder, reopening the wound and strengthening the bond between them.

Intense pleasure flooded him as the connection between them deepened. Briefly, he wondered if it would always be this intense or if eventually, they’d grow used to the extreme rapture. Just being in her presence was enough to bring him joy.

He thought about his parents, married for thirty-four years and still making puppy-dog eyes at each other when they thought no one was watching. Judging from their example, he knew he would never become fully desensitized.

Seeing his parents so in love used to make him uncomfortable, but thinking about it now, he completely understood. He gazed down at the woman he loved, and swept a lock of hair from her cheek. Looking at Gwen made him understand, even if she did hold him at arm’s length.

He frowned as he pondered the problems in their relationship. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be with his mate, so tense and removed. It wasn’t that she was cold. The sex was great. More like amazing. But sex wasn’t everything. Two weeks ago he never would’ve believed those thoughts would come from him, but a lot had changed in two weeks.

The sex allowed Ethan a glimpse at the real Gwen. The woman she deliberately kept hidden from him. What he saw stunned him in her brilliance, but she refused to allow him more than a glimpse. Already, he felt the barriers rising between them. The pain as the bond was blocked almost caused him to yelp. He was determined to scale those walls, no matter what it took.

“Gwen,” Ethan whispered, lowering his forehead to hers and steadying her hips with his hands. “What happened? Why are you hiding from me?” His heart nearly broke when she stiffened in his arms. “Don’t. Don’t run. Just tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to fix this. Why won’t you open up?”

Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, Gwen examined the ceiling. He seemed so sincere. The words were everything she ever wanted to hear, but the emotion in them couldn’t be real. She knew Ethan didn’t love her. Had heard the words straight from his mouth. Still, his heartfelt request made her second-guess everything she thought she’d heard. Shaking her head, Gwen firmed her resolve. Forgetting would only lead to illusions and eventually more heartbreak.

She looked up into his eyes, as he patiently waited for her response. How much should she reveal? Should she tell him everything she’d heard back at the resort or should she keep quiet?

Obviously he knew something bothered her. What was the big deal in telling him the truth? He couldn’t leave her now any more than she could leave him. Happy or not, they were tied together forever.

What held her back? Her stupid sense of pride? In the end, what was more prideful, being miserable and holding everything in or admitting to knowing the facts and being strong enough to deal with them?

Gwen stared into Ethan’s eyes, so close to her own. The intensity in their depths only enhanced his good looks. And didn’t that just figure. If only he cared for her even a little bit, she would be the happiest woman alive.

She really wasn’t being fair. She was his mate, after all. They were now linked, his soul entwined with hers. He would protect her and keep her safe. But he would never care for her the way a man cared for a woman he loved. And that was just something she’d have to work toward accepting. Things could be a lot worse and the more she remembered that the happier she’d be.

Sure, many people might think a mating was deeper than love, and in some ways they’d be right. Mating did deepen the bond between two people who loved each other. But Gwen understood what many shifters never would. Mating without love, without even the potential for love, was an empty shell of what could be.

Taking a deep breath, Gwen prepared to tell all. Holding herself back from her mate was downright painful, and Gwen didn’t want to do it anymore. She didn’t need him as her best friend. She had Lyssa to share her thoughts and dreams with. But she needed to feel comfortable around him, and she never would with this secret between them.

“I heard you back at the resort. I know how you feel about me. I thought if I left, we wouldn’t be forced into a mating we didn’t want.” Gwen laughed. The empty sound mocked her as it echoed off the walls. “I guess my plan didn’t work out so well.”

“Gwen, what are you talking about? I don’t know what you think you heard, but I think chasing you halfway across the country should prove how much I wanted this. Isn’t this what you want, too?”

Needing to put some space between them, Gwen wiggled, trying to get away, but he held her firmly in place.

“I need some space, Ethan. And I don’t really want to have this conversation naked.”

“Oh?” He sounded mildly interested as if they were discussing the weather. “I can’t think of a better way to have this conversation. I think I’m going to keep you here until I know exactly what’s going on between us.” A hard edge entered his voice, and Gwen knew he meant exactly what he said. The alpha wolf putting his foot down. She wasn’t getting up until she revealed everything. And talking about this wasn’t going to be any easier in an hour.