Zena Wynn - Carol's Mate

“…Your pussy was good, but no cunt is worth giving up my humanity to become a monster, an animal like you.” The slamming of the door punctuated his words.

She had no idea how long she sat there in that chair, unable to move or think, barely breathing. Pain was a living, seething entity that consumed her entire being.

“Carol! Carol!” She was shaken roughly. “Snap out of it!”

“He‟s gone,” she said in a dull voice unlike her own.

“Who‟s gone?”

“My mate. He left.” She drifted back off into space. Another rough shake roused her.

“What happened?” A command, one she couldn‟t disobey.

Carol repeated word for word everything Mark had said. She heard the words, knew it was her speaking, but she‟d disassociated herself to the point where it seemed to be coming from someone else. “He‟s right, you know? Everything he said was true.” That was her sin, her shame.

“No, he‟s not. Look at me. Damn it, I said look at me !” The command of an alpha. The voice of power.

Eyes gone wolf, shining pure gold, fangs showing, Alex was furious. She was so tired. She didn‟t have the energy to deal with him, with life. “Let me go, Alex,” she pleaded wearily.

His claws bit into her scalp where he held her head, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You will not grieve yourself to death over him. I won‟t allow it. We won‟t let you. Come back, Carol. We need you. The pack needs you. I need you.” Then he snatched her out of the chair, onto her knees, and into his arms.

Other arms surrounded her, enfolding her. She drowned in the scent of pack, of home, of family, and most of all, of love. Deep male voices murmured. Hands stroked and touched. The feeling of being safe broke through the grief.

She clutched at Alex. “It hurts. God, it hurts so bad.” Then she cried.

An ocean of tears later, Alex lifted her and carried her upstairs to the alphas‟

room. The bed still carried their scent. He laid her in the middle of the bed, and they all crowded in around her. Exhausted, she fell into a deep sleep…

A strong, masculine hand rifled through her hair, messing up her ‟fro. “Why are you out here in the cold, brooding, instead of inside with the rest of the pack?” Alex.

“Just thinking,” she replied, shaking off the past.

“Hmm…” He laid his arms on her shoulders and crossed them under her neck, pulling her back into his body in a loose embrace. “Since you‟re calling Mom „Mom‟

now, does that mean you‟re gonna start referring to me as your brother?” She elbowed him in the side and smirked when he grunted. “Hell no. I‟m not claiming you.”

He laughed as his grip tightened, playfully threatening to choke her.

“I might let the baby call you uncle,” she conceded.

“It‟s a start. Someone‟s got to keep the tyke from being the hellion his mother was. I‟ll keep working on the brother part,” he said, and she could hear the humor in his voice.

They stood quietly, watching a fox creep out of the woods before it caught their scent and darted away.

“Are you happy, Carol?”

“Yeah, Alex. I am.”

He sighed deeply, the way he always did when something was troubling him.

She waited. After a while, her patience was rewarded. “Dad‟s been hinting that it‟s time for me to start a family, for the good of the pack. Hell, it‟s not like I‟m against the idea. I want a mate. I‟m tired of being alone…lonely.”

“But…?”

“I see Mom and Dad, and you with Mark, and I want what you have. Sure, I could pick one of the females of the pack and settle down, but…” Carol reached up and crossed her arms on top of his in an awkward hug, resting her weight against him. “Then pray, Alex, and wait. Don‟t settle for less than you deserve. There‟s someone for you out there, and when it‟s time, she‟ll come across your path.”

He rested his head on top of hers. “You think so?”

“I know so. We didn‟t even know this true mates stuff was real until it happened to me. Don‟t give up. If it happened to me, and Ned and Ms. Emma, it can happen for you too. And when it does, hopefully you won‟t have half the problems Mark and I had.”

“You didn‟t know, Carol. When are you going to stop beating yourself up about it? Your being with him went against everything we were taught to believe. Things got a little rocky, but it all worked out in the end. That‟s all that matters.” In an attempt to lighten the mood, she asked, “So what did you get me for Christmas?” Though they‟d given out gifts to the pack, the family had yet to exchange them. That would come after dinner, which would include only family and a few of the elders.

“A present? For you? Sorry, kid. I only bought my family gifts this year,” Alex said, tickling her.

“Oh, you…” She squirmed, trying to free herself.

Alex held her with one arm and rubbed the knuckles of his free hand on top of her head. She squealed, and they tussled like the kids they used to be.

“Are you molesting my wife?” her mate asked as he came out onto the deck.

“More like mauling me,” she answered. “Get him off me. You know I shouldn‟t be jostled in my delicate condition.”

Both men snorted.

Mark bent over to knee level so he could see her face since Alex had her in a headlock. “Aren‟t you the same „delicate flower‟ that tackled me earlier during our football game?”

“Well…”

“Yeah, she hit me so hard I saw stars. That‟s what I get for trying to take it easy on her,” Alex griped.

Mark gently freed her from Alex‟s hold, but that didn‟t stop the teasing.

Instead it intensified as the two ganged up on her. Carol smiled, happy to see two of the most important men in her life getting along so well, despite their rocky start…

The night she and Mark broke up, the alpha, sensing something was wrong, sent Alex, Sam, Craig, and Seth to attend to her with the command to remain until the semester was over. Then she was to come home to Refuge. The alpha had already made arrangements for her to intern at the hospital in Colbyville, only forty-five minutes away, until the new clinic was operational.

To say the guys were protective was an understatement. They shadowed her every move, following her to class and sitting beside her. Not that she minded.

Emotionally, she was such a mess that their very presence was a comfort to her.

They smelled of pack and home, something she desperately needed as she licked her wounds and struggled to make it from day to day.

More than pain, it was the crushing guilt of keeping her secret for so long that truly tormented her. Mona had urged her to tell Mark as soon as she‟d discovered the truth, but she‟d held off out of fear. She loved him so much, she hadn‟t wanted to chance losing him. Not only had she lost him, but she had only herself to blame.

She was curled up on the couch between Sam and Alex, being drilled by the latter for an upcoming exam, when the knock came at the door. His scent hit her immediately. She stiffened and let out a small whimper.

Alex broke off midquestion, observing her. “It‟s him, isn‟t it?” All she could do was nod.

“I‟ve got this.” Alex‟s normally dark brown eyes were gold, wolf barely held in check.

“No, Alex, it‟s all right. I can handle it,” she protested and struggled to get to her feet, though she really didn‟t want to, but the guys were worrying her. All of them were bristling like wolves whose territory was being threatened. Mark was strong, but he was human and no match for an alpha like Alex.

“Guys.” That‟s all Alex said, and immediately Seth, Craig, and Sam formed a wall between her and the door.