Zena Wynn: Reclaiming Angelica

They went walking in the woods and chopped down a big Christmas tree. It was bigger than Poppa, and Raul got to pick it out. Then they decorated it and filled the bottom with presents. So many presents all he could do was stare.

Christmas morning, Raul was up before the sun, opening his presents while Poppa, Uncle Joey, Uncle Dillion, and Uncle Max laughed. His uncles cooked a huge breakfast, and then they went out and played in the snow. His uncles turned into dogg—wolves, Poppa said they were wolves—played chase, and hide-and-seek, and had snowball fights until his nose was red and running and his hands burned. Then they ate a huge supper.

After Raul took his bath and dressed for bed, Poppa came into his room and talked for a long time. He spoke of wolves, and alphas, and mates, and responsibility to the pack.

“Do you understand what I’m saying, son?” Poppa asked.

Raul bit his lower lip and nodded slowly.

Poppa sighed. Then he brushed the hair back off Raul’s forehead and smiled. Not the big smiles he used to give before Momma left, but a small one that tilted his lips and crinkled his eyes.

“Listen closely, son. This is important. Pack is family. Some packs are small, like your uncles and I. Some packs are big, having lots of brothers and sisters. Packs live together, love each other, and take care of each other.”

“Like Uncle Max and Uncle Dillion and Uncle Joey?”

“Yes, exactly like your uncles do. Each pack, each family has a person that’s in charge. This person is usually the biggest, the strongest, and the smartest.”

“Like you, Poppa?”

Poppa’s face looked sad again. “Like me. That person is called the alpha. The alpha is like…” His father broke off, staring off into space.

He gazed curiously up into Poppa’s face, waiting for him to continue.

“…an alpha is like an older big brother. He protects his younger brothers and sisters, and tells them what to do. His job is to keep the family safe. Their needs come before his own.” Poppa stared down into his eyes, very serious. His father placed his meaty hands on Raul’s shoulders and said, “One day, Raul, you’ll be an alpha.”

Raul’s eyes grew big. “I will?”

“Yes, you won’t always be small like you are. You’re smart, and one day you’ll be big, like me. When you are, make sure you’re a good alpha. The best. Take care of your pack.”

“I will, Poppa,” Raul promised.

“One day you’ll want a mate. It’s lonely being alpha. You spend so much time taking care of everyone else, you’ll want someone to love only you and take care of you the way you take care of the pack. You’ll want a little boy or a little girl of your own to give you all the love in their heart. When that day comes, don’t do like I did. Pick someone like you, a shifter who understands your wolf. A woman who will help you with the pack, not pull you away from them.”

Raul wrinkled his nose, puzzled. “But you said pack is family. I wouldn’t leave my family, Poppa.”

Poppa closed his eyes and dropped his chin so Raul was no longer looking into his eyes. “Sometimes, son, love makes us do foolish things. Things you think you’d never do, so choose wisely who you love.”

Raul had a feeling this had something to do with Momma, but before he could ask, Poppa looked at him again and continued, “Remember what I told you about humans, Raul.”

“Like Momma?” Poppa had said a lot about humans since Momma left.

Poppa shook once, like he was cold, and his eyes got shiny. He blinked them a few times until they cleared. “Yes, like your momma. What did I say?”

Raul repeated the words that had been drilled into him. “Never tell a human what I am. They won’t understand, and they’ll be afraid of me because I’m special.”

“And?” his father asked.

“Never love a human.”

“That’s right, son. Pack comes first. Humans will take you away from the pack; take you away from everything that’s important. They are dangerous to your heart.” One thick digit tapped Raul on the chest. “Mate a human, and she’ll break your heart.”

Raul didn’t know what a broken heart was, but it didn’t sound like something he wanted.

“Remember my words, son. Be a better man, a better alpha than me,” Poppa told him. “Now, it’s very late and past time for you to go to bed. Pick out a book for me to read and then climb under the covers.”

Raul did as instructed, and Poppa read to Raul until he fell asleep. It was the best day ever, even if he did still miss Momma.

The next morning, Poppa was gone when he got up. Uncle Joey said Poppa went hunting. The day went on, and Poppa still didn’t come home. By dinnertime, Raul was watching at the window for Poppa. When Raul asked what was taking Poppa so long, Uncle Dillion said sometimes it took a long time to catch a deer because you had to sit real still and wait for the deer to come to you. That when it was really cold like now, sometimes the deer didn’t want to come out. Uncle Max said he’d go see if he could hurry Poppa along.

Uncle Dillion told Raul to come eat his supper, and then, when Poppa and Uncle Max still weren’t home, to go take his bath and get ready for bed. Raul played with his new toys in his room, continuing to wait. Finally, he heard the door open and voices talking.

“Poppa?” He came running out the room.

Uncle Max stood in the living room, looking sad.

“Where’s Poppa, Uncle Max? Did you find him?”

“Raul, son, there’s been an accident,” Uncle Joey said. “Your Poppa, he—”

“Don’t lie to the boy,” Uncle Max said in a hard voice. “He deserves the truth. Raul, come here, son.”

Raul came closer.

“You know how sad your Poppa was at your Momma leaving?” Uncle Max asked, his hands on Raul’s shoulders.

“Yes, sir.” Poppa didn’t like to talk about Momma, but sometimes Poppa got really quiet and looked sad. Raul had seen Poppa, late at night, holding Momma’s picture in his hand, and his eyes were wet like he’d been crying.

“When men like us love, we love with our whole heart. Your Momma leaving did something to your Poppa. He tried really hard to be strong for you, but without your Momma…” Uncle Dillion said.

Raul’s gaze bounced from one uncle to the next. “Where’s Poppa?”

It was Uncle Max who said, “Your Poppa’s dead. He killed himself with the gun. He left a note asking us to take care of you because he was too chickenshit to do it himself.”

“Max!” Uncle Joey shouted. “What the hell are you doing?”

“It’s the truth, isn’t it? He’s got this beautiful boy, and because his bitch of a wife left him, Paul went and offed himself. If that isn’t chickenshit, I don’t know what is,” Uncle Max shouted back.

“Guys, none of us have mated,” Uncle Dillion said in a calm voice. “We can’t understand how he felt. Most wolves die when they lose their mates. That’s a fact.”

“Bullshit!” Uncle Max said in a loud voice.

Raul eased away while his uncles argued, and went and curled up in bed. He cried as he hadn’t since he realized Momma really wasn’t coming back and just before falling asleep, whispered, “I’m sorry, Poppa, for telling Momma our secret.”

Raul Santiago pulled into the parking lot of Lobos Investigations, exhausted down to the bone. Lobos Investigations was the business he and his pack—Billy Ray, Mercer, Dominic, and Knox—had started after leaving the military. Their primary source of income was private investigations, but they specialized in skip tracing and fugitive recovery—bounty hunting.

Raul rubbed weary hands over his scrubby face and sighed. His prey had led him on a teeth-gritting, jaw-grinding chase, managing to stay one step ahead of both him and law enforcement officials until a stroke of luck dropped the perp right into his lap. The disgusting bag of puke now sat behind bars, denied bail, and facing two life sentences if convicted. Raul had received grudging acknowledgment of a job well done from the FBI, and a nice fat bonus on top of their hefty fee from the client. One that would have them sitting in the black for months to come.