Ju DiMello - Jaguar, Be Mine

She bit on her lower lip, not wanting to sit, yet. Not even when he pulled out two stools and waited.

A glance at the digital clock on the microwave showed one thirty a.m., a mere fifteen minutes since she’d fallen into a dreamless slumber.

“I see you’re already eyeing the timer. For our next round?”

The tension vanished from her shoulder blades, making her week-kneed with relief. All he had to do was grin? Damn him.

“I hope you didn’t mind. I helped myself,” he said.

Mind? No freaking way. Before she could assure him of the same, he gave her another one of his quick lightning grins, making her feel like a fumbling, star-struck fool. She so needed to get over this foolhardy fascination with him.

She glared at him, angry at herself.

His smile fell. “I missed dinner. I—”

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “Help yourself to anything you want.”

“Anything?” His eyebrows rose, catching on her nonexistent innuendo.

“I mean, food, smart guy. Only as long as you share with me.”

“Deal,” he said.

She stuck her tongue out at him in response.

“What? The smart guy I am, I know to settle for a good bargain when I see one.” He showed her his teeth again and she looked down before she could pull his head closer and kiss that smile off his face.

She slid onto the stool, her stomach rumbling on taking one whiff of the bacon. Cheese oozed out of the tortilla wraps and her mouth watered all over again, this time in honest-to-goodness hunger.

Usually a sound sleeper, she rarely woke in the middle of the night, but when she did, she always needed something substantial as a midnight snack. When the cheesy treat was prepared by such droolworthy hotness, she could do nothing but take a loaded bite and moan in bliss.

His eyes darkened and his gaze momentarily flickered over her, but he shook his head, digging into his food.

For a few seconds they ate in silence. Contentment settled over her as though a blanket when the incongruity of the entire scene slammed into her. The simple act of Xander cooking for her seemed so much at odds with what she’d assumed a male Alpha would never do. Had she lumped them all together as archaic assholes because of her stilted judgment? Or maybe that had been her way of protecting herself from feeling anything.

As a believer of logic, startling realizations usually didn’t sit well with her, but she chewed on her food and thought. She really never intended to spend the reminder of her life alone, convinced that she’d find the right male, eventually. What if he’s sitting right in front of you? Rash decisions weren’t her cup of tea either and hence, she let the moment pass, taking a few slow, calming breaths.

“I’ve never tried wrapping up leftover bacon in tortillas.” She chewed on a crunchy bit, trying to figure out the flavors. “What’s the spice you used?”

He picked the second tortilla from his plate. “Cayenne pepper.”

“They’re so good,” she admitted over her last bite.

He chuckled. “I’m a smart guy, remember?”

She kicked out, her foot connecting with his leg with a satisfying thwack.

He looked up, a smile curving the edges of his lips. “You can share my second one, if you want to.”

“No, thanks.” She crossed her arms and waited for him to finish, so they could get down to unfinished business.

He let his eyes linger for a second on her exposed cleavage and the top of her breasts pushed up by her hands. She gulped when she saw the rising tent in his towel. Her entire body burned with arousal, his obvious interest multiplying hers exponentially. Blood roared in her ears and her senses sharpened with the urge to mate. Her canines elongated. She narrowed her eyes to clear her vision and firmly clamped her mouth. What had he done to her?

Picking up the final remaining bit of his impromptu snack, he stood over her. “I want to taste this off your lips.”

His gruff words heightened the surreal feeling once again, but she opened her mouth when he slid the tortilla wrap between her lips and bent down, holding to his promise.

She let her tongue duel with his, while she closed her eyes and clutched his broad shoulders, absorbing the heat he radiated to quell the sudden shivers racking her body.

Their food was long gone, and her robe was open, but he didn’t lift his head until his kiss left her gasping for air. Rough hands parted her legs, providing an erotic contrast on her slick folds, arousing her. His cock jerked against her thighs and her eyes flew open. She glanced down at his naked form, to the towel pooled at his feet. When she’d untied the flimsy knot, she didn’t know, and she helped herself to a fine squeeze of his tempting ass.

She slid a little forward on the stool, realizing the height was perfect for him to take her like this.

She smiled and spread her legs for him, even while her heart pressed tightly against her chest. His intense gaze probed her own, questioning and seeking answers.

His muscles bunched and strained while he waited for her go-ahead. She didn’t give any signal for him to proceed, though her body obviously did. She couldn’t bring herself to utter the words yet. She trembled and the enormity of her actions hit her all of a sudden.

“If we have sex, I’ll carry your scent.”

His impassive face gave away nothing, but seeming to sense her turmoil, he moved to her side and nibbled on her neck. “Good.”

She pushed at his chest, forcing him to face her. Anger seeped in, riling her with a dark edge.

“Oh, so that’s been the plan all along has it?”

His expression shuttered and she sensed him withdrawing. Trepidation filled her. What was she missing?

“I am leaving the pack, Karin. Come tomorrow morning, you’ll not see me here or anywhere else where the elders have a reach.”

Shock spiraled into the mix, churning her emotions into a bubbling mess. He’d promised a single night. By leaving the pack, he’d be marked a traitor, hunted for life. Even she couldn’t change their archaic laws.

“You’ll sacrifice your freedom and life for me? Why?”

His eyes locked with hers and took her breath away.

“Because I care for you, Karin. Because I’m afraid if I’m around, I might force you to be my mate regardless of what the elders wanted.”

Did that mean he… No, she told herself furiously, it couldn’t be love. She’d ignored Xander more than she’d interacted with him, though he’d featured in her deeply hidden fantasies on several occasions. She’d done her duty by mating with Michael, hoping for a meaningful relationship if not a soul-bond. Look where that had left her. Ten years of marriage equaling nothing.

Was she ready to repeat the same and hope her foolish dreams and fancies came true? She wasn’t the wide-eyed, innocent jaguar of twenty-two who’d agreed to the elders’ words.

“What if the elders think we’ve bonded?” she asked.

“All the better, since it means you accepted me, took me in. I am the one who’ll be breaking the rules by leaving you.”

Darn! He’d covered all the bases for her to escape unscathed. To live as she chose to see fit. He’d gift her freedom at the price of his exile, or worse, death. The enormity of his actions ate into her.

Was she so cold, so heartless, as to sacrifice him for her independence? Or was she pathetic to retract her promise of one night to him, order him to stay and put them both at risk?

“Stop worrying your pretty head about things you cannot change.”

His tone was grim; his face, determined. Her respect for the strong soon-to-be-Alpha jaguar shot up. Her eyes misted, but she blinked the tears away, focusing on his chiseled face and those deep-set eyes. An invisible hand clutched her heart in the face of his selflessness.