Фил Фоглио - Agatha H. and the Siege of Mechanicsburg

Dimo made a show of looking around. “So vhat iz hyu doink here? Shouldn’t hyu be by her side or som’ting?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

The Jдgers flinched at this. “Vell,” Ognian explained, “ve vos, bot den she vent off to activate der Castle. Dot’s vhat all dot lightning vos about. De next ting ve know, de Kestle iz tellink us to come op here, fast-like.” He shrugged. “Dun know why.”

Across the town below, screams and yells could be heard. Vast rumblings and groaning revealed where entire buildings were being flung about. Violetta looked at the Jдgers with respect. “I guess the Castle likes you.”

Maxim considered this. “Hy tink it tinks uf us as part uf der furniture.”

A particularly loud explosion echoed off the walls. “And I,” Ognian declared loudly, “em hokay with dot!”

Dimo, meanwhile, had sidled up to Zeetha. “So vhat iz hyu schtill doink out of bed? Mamma said dot—”

“I’ve already talked to Mamma. I feel fine.”

“Hmm. Und here I thought Meester Higgs vanted hyu to stay dere as vell.”

“Don’t tell him!”

Dimo snorted and pointed to a figure toiling up the stairs towards them. “Hy dun gots to tell heem notting. He’z gun be here in a minute.”

He turned back and Zeetha was gone. Dimo grinned as Higgs topped the stairs. He saw Violetta and went to doff his hat, which seemed to be the first time he realized that he’s been dragging an enormous rat creature of some sort. “Hello, Ms. Violetta.” He faced the Jдgers. “Gents.”

Ognian stepped forward. “Heegs! Hey, guess vhat, luffer boy, hyu just meesed—”

He was cut off by Dimo burying an elbow in his gut. “Qviet, hyu.”

Higgs frowned. “What’s going on, now?” He glanced at Violetta, who looked away with a smile. Higgs sighed. “Ah. She’s out of bed again, running around fighting everything she sees.”

“Hyu didn’t hear it from me,” Ognian moaned from the ground.

Dimo smiled. “Goot ting she din’ see hyu, hey?” He shrugged. “But dot’s hokay, she’s a beeg gurl. Iffen she gets herself keeled, mebbe she’ll learn nots to do dot again, jah?”

The only sign Higgs gave of being agitated was from the smoke coming from his pipe. “Yeah, you’d’ve thought,” he muttered. “It’s not like I care, but . . . but she’s supposed to be training the Heterodyne, so I don’t like it.”

Violetta rubbed her nose. “I thought you worked for Wulfenbach.”

Higgs stared at her, and his pipe moved back and forth from one side of his mouth to the other. “Yes. Well, Master Gil likes the Heterodyne girl, right? So he’ll be . . . he’ll be super upset if Miss Zeetha gets hurt and can’t train her.”

Maxim slapped his back. “Ho! If dot’s all hyu’z vorried about, dere’s lotsa pipple dot ken train Miss Agatha!”

Higgs was so annoyed that he took his pipe from his mouth. “No! Miss Zeetha is special!” Everyone looked at him encouragingly. “I mean . . . I . . . ”

Ognian’s hand dropped heavily onto Higgs’s shoulder, cutting him off in mid-burble. For once the Jдger’s face was completely serious. “Hey, keed.” Higgs’s jaw shut with a snap. “Ve vaz havink fun tryink to wind hyu op. But now? Just shot op and go ketch her.” Higgs stared at him blankly, blew out a deep breath, nodded once, and took off at a quick amble.

Maxim gave Ognian a punch on the arm. “Az alvays, hy iz in awe uf hyu mastery uf de art of de romance.”

Ognian gave a nonchalant shrug. “Dot’s vhy hy gots descendants!”

A half a block away, Zeetha dropped off of a roof, rolled to her feet, and then paused. “Hold on,” she addressed the air. “Why am I running away? I am Zeetha, daughter of Chump!148 Should I—a royal princess of Skifander—cower in my bed while my friends fight for their lives? Never!

“And who does he think he is, anyway? I’m going to go back there—right now—and tell him what I think of his impertinent interference!” She glanced out of a shattered window and saw the object of her annoyance sauntering down the middle of an otherwise deserted street. The sight of him caused a wave of emotion to pass through her. “Oh, just look at him,” she muttered. “Coming after me like he has some kind of . . . of right to tell me—”

From a pool of shadow, a large creature of indeterminate pedigree leapt towards the seemingly oblivious man. Just as it was about to strike, Higgs snagged it out of the air, slammed it to the pavement, and kicked it in the mouth hard enough to break several teeth. With a muttered apology, the creature slunk back into the shadows.

Zeetha realized she was squealing quickly enough that she was able to drop from sight before Higgs’s head swung up towards the sound. Zeetha shivered in what she realized was delight, and then bit her knuckle. “But is he coming after me?” she wondered aloud.

“Oh my, yes,” the Castle assured her. “I believe he rather likes you, actually. Astonishing.”

“You again,” Zeetha said with a sigh.

“Me again!” There was a note of dark amusement in the Castle’s voice that Zeetha found disturbing. “He doesn’t want to admit it, you know. He’s always been a stubborn one.”

Zeetha frowned. “But how would you . . . ” An idea occurred to her. “Was he born here? In Mechanicsburg? Or is it stranger than that?”

“Hm . . . Perhaps I should tell you. But first, let us establish what your interest is in the Lady Heterodyne.”

“She is my friend. She saved me from despair, here in this strange land.”149

“And you train her to fight. Why?”

Zeetha stepped behind a wall as a wounded aeroape crashed to the ground. “You have to ask? Look at what’s already happened to her. She’s a spark and your Heterodyne. She’s going to need to be strong. She’ll need to know how to fight and when not to.”

“So . . . you hope to make her into a fine . . . hero?”

“A what? Don’t be stupid! She’ll have enough to do just keeping this place in line. All I’m trying to do is keep her alive!”

“I see.” The Castle sounded disappointed. “Well then, I will not tell you about Mister Higgs, after all.”

Zeetha pouted. “What? But . . . ”

“Because if I did, he’d have to kill you, and he wouldn’t like that. No, it would be amusing, but I must consider the best interests of the family.”

“Oh.”

“Even worse,” the Castle muttered, “he would be annoyed with me.”

The implications of what Zeetha was hearing caused her to shiver. “Couldn’t you just tell me something? I mean, maybe just enough so he’d only have to wound me a little?”

A wave of bone-chilling laughter swirled around her. “Why, I’m beginning to like you too. You’re fun.” The Castle paused. “I know, would you like to see him fight? I mean, really fight?”

Zeetha’s breath caught. “Oh! Oh yeah!”

“Ha-ha, that a girl! Very well then, everything is in place and is finally in working order . . . You just find yourself a good seat and watch this!”

Zeetha braced herself, but nothing happened. After several seconds, she sighed, and sat on a low parapet—and was knocked to the ground when the wall started shivering. She bounced to her feet and realized the ground was moving. A look around assured her the nearby buildings were vibrating as well, and the people she saw on the streets were either sprawled on the ground or clutching large objects for dear life. She turned to look at the Castle, and saw it erupt with colored lights and gouts of steam that vented hundreds of meters into the sky above.

She stared, entranced, and then blinked. It almost appeared that . . . Another look and she saw she had not been mistaken. One of the toppled towers that had been leaning drunkenly against another, was slowly moving. She saw now that all of them were. The shattered walls were being repaired block by block. Towers were defying gravity and straightening back upright. Roof tiles were flowing back into place. The dust and the noise increased as everything seemed to move at once. And then, with a final clunk, Castle Heterodyne stood tall and seemingly undamaged before her.