Фил Фоглио - Agatha H. and the Siege of Mechanicsburg

Thus it was with some surprise, and no little embarrassment, that Hexalina found herself entertaining certain fantasies that had her blushing. Moloch heard a faint sigh and glanced over at her. A touch of concern appeared on his face as the girl beside him appeared slightly flushed. “You okay?”

Snaug nodded. “Just worried about . . . ” she waved her hand to encompass everything in sight. Moloch nodded. “What are you thinking so deeply about?”

“The Castle. Didn’t I once hear Professor Tiktoffen say that it was alive?”

Snaug nodded. “It’s a point of some contention amongst those sparks who dabble in artificial intelligence, but Tiktoffen said the Castle—that is, not the walls, exactly, but the part that’s, well, dead now, I guess—” she threw out her chest and waved her arms about “—exhibits many of the prerequisites that would allow us to classify it as an intelligent entity.”

Moloch snorted at the accuracy of the imitation.6 “No, I don’t mean smart. That’s obvious. I mean . . . alive. Like you or a . . . a construct.”

Hexalina paused. “Oh. I see. Well, that’s what Tiktoffen believes. He claimed it was an entirely new form of life. Why?”

Moloch slapped a stone. It shifted slightly. “Because when you kill something, it usually starts to rot.”

The two of them absorbed the implications of this, then hurried to the sparks to offer assistance.

Unfortunately, not a lot of constructive work was getting done around the mechanical cat. One of the sparks, Theopholous DuMedd, happened to glance down in time to see a small clank dragging off the micrometer he’d been using. His yell caused a modest swarm of similar small clanks to flee, all clutching tools and equipment. Theo chased them until they disappeared into a large crack in the wall, dragging their spoils behind them. With an oath, he flung his work gloves to the ground. His fury doubled when another tiny clank popped out, grabbed the gloves, and dragged them out of sight as well.

“This is not going well at all,” he snarled. “Those confounded little clanks of Agatha’s have gone out of control! They steal parts! Tools! When we repair something on this beast, they nip in and rip out something else!” He gave the clank a kick. “We’ll never get this thing moving at this rate!”

Moloch nodded and began checking the hoist controls on the makeshift lift. He stared down into the hole Agatha had blasted in the floor of the Castle and gave a resigned sigh. “Guess I’d better go get spooky girl and Wulfenbach and let them—”

“NO!” Professor Caractacus Mezzasalma drew himself up on his mechanical legs and glared. “We do not need to run to a Wulfenbach every time we have a problem! We are sparks! We can solve this!” The others nodded in agreement. “It may take years! Endless toil! The blood of thousands of minions! But our science will triumph!”

The other sparks cheered. Moloch rolled his eyes.

Princess Zeetha and Airman Axel Higgs regarded the cavorting sparks from a safe distance on the other side of the room. They shared a significant glance. Zeetha nodded and pulled a small mechanism from her pocket. “Oooo—kay. I think it’s time for this.”

Higgs leaned in to examine it. It was a small, decorated metal sphere. “What is it?”

“Don’t know,” Zeetha admitted as she hit the only switch, “but Agatha said it would help, and really at this point—how much more trouble could it be?”

The sphere shivered. Small panels slid aside releasing a set of arms and legs that unfolded with a snap. A mismatched pair of eyes swiveled open and examined the room. It turned back to Zeetha, nodded once, and leapt to the ground and scuttled away.

Higgs cocked an eyebrow. “I guess we’ll find out.”

The walls of Castle Heterodyne contain unusual spaces. Places where corners come together in odd ways, secret places sealed away for forgotten reasons, and, of course, places where the mechanisms that allow the Castle to perform its many wonders are housed.

In the Castle walls, two separate teams of dingbots, each led by a small commander, were busy assembling devices intended to crush their opposite number. Each of these primaries7 was fiercely territorial and regarded the presence of the other primary as a direct challenge to their control. They marched among their troops clicking and whistling with smug self-importance.

An unearthly music unexpectedly began in the room outside. Both teams of little clanks froze. Dreamily, they dropped tools and began to move towards the sound. They thronged into the room and gathered around the hulk of the security clank, waiting. The sparks who had been rebuilding it danced backward, trying their best not to trip over the single-minded tide of clanks. Standing atop the security clank was the music’s source: the little round clank that Zeetha had activated. The rest stared up at it, mesmerized. The two primaries pushed their way through the group until they stood at the front, gazing upwards in evident astonishment.

The music ended and the singer gazed down on the assembled crowd. The two primaries blinked, then each understood—with fury—that it was s

tanding next to its hated rival. They moved to fight, but the round clank rang out a single clear tone and both primaries dropped to their knees. Atop the new clank, a small hatch folded open with a crisp snap and revealed a minuscule crown. The assembled clanks stood frozen before their new ruler. It clapped its jewellike hands once and, without a word, the clank armies became one. Surging forward, they overran the giant security clank like ants on a hill.

Everyone stared at this flurry of activity in amazement. Theo leaned back and nodded in approval. “They’re repairing it.” he said. “This looks promising.”

Doctor Mittelmind gripped his arm. “A promising disaster,” he growled. “Can you not see it?”

Theo blinked. “Um . . . no?”

Mittelmind indicated the organized chaos swirling before them. “Observe! Those little clanks are building! Designing!”

Diaz’ eyes widened. “Spitting in the face of the creator!”

Mezzasalma gasped. “Warping science!”

They all looked expectantly at Theo, who felt like he was letting down the home team. He shrugged. “So?”

Mittelmind smacked the back of his head. “They are taking our jobs!”

“We are doomed,” Diaz declared.

Mezzasalma concurred. “DOOOOOMED!”

Theo rolled his eyes. “Nonsense! These things are but tools!” He scooped up a clank that had been attempting to straighten a steel strut with only a tiny hammer. He tried not to notice it seemed to be succeeding. “New, complex tools, certainly. But surely there are unique strengths that we, as men of science, can provide that these little mechanisms cannot.”

The three sparks looked abashed. Mezzasalma rubbed his jaw. “Oh. Well, certainly . . . ”

The others nodded and looked like they might relax, when Moloch, who had been deep in conversation with Snaug, wandered up and took notice of what was happening. “Oh not these things again.” he groaned. “They start by being helpful, but soon they’ll build something terrible that could kill us all!”

The three older sparks went white. “DOOOOOMED,” they moaned.

Suddenly there was a shudder and a prolonged rumble. A huge billow of smoke and dust erupted from the shaft now opening in the floor. When the room stopped shaking, they all crowded around the edge and peered downwards. Higgs lit a torch, dropped it—they were able to follow it even through the dust—and saw it bounce and land on a heap of rubble almost a hundred meters down.

“That happened faster than I thought it would.” Moloch muttered to himself.

Diaz shook his head. “I do not know what you were expecting, but that was an explosion from a bomb. Someone did this deliberately!”