Фил Фоглио - Agatha H. and the Siege of Mechanicsburg

“I’d think you’d be glad to be out of this old thing. I mean, it must have been terribly boring being chained up in that forgotten hallway for over a hundred years . . . ”

To Lucrezia’s discomfort, her words merely caused her prisoner to smile. Lucrezia felt ghostly icicles of dread slide down her spine. “You have no idea what it was like,” the creature on the slab said with obvious relish. “But I take comfort in knowing that if you continue in this madness, you will.”

Lucrezia considered giving this impudent wretch a slap as well, but . . . even shackled, there were those terrible teeth. They had seemed like such a funny idea at the time . . .

She was saved from further indecision by the sound of Mozek clearing her throat. “It is done, Mistress.”

Lucrezia looked over her minion’s work and could find no fault. Thick cables were now attached to the metal figure. The engines themselves were awash with green lights as they quietly thrummed.

“It won’t work, Lady Heterodyne.” The creature on the slab’s voice was different now. There was no trace of anger or malice. It was a voice that begged to be heeded. “You are attempting to pour the ocean into a teacup.” She glanced at the prone figure beside her. “And you have actually found a teacup strong enough to hold it.”

Lucrezia tipped her head to one side as she considered the construct. “That’s very impressive, that voice thing. Some sort of harmonic pitch. Is that how you got old Andronicus to actually listen to you?” She patted the inert clank. “It might actually have worked if you’d been able to use your original vocal mechanisms, but even so, it was very persuasive. I’ll have to remember that.”

She strode over to the switches. “But I am tired of listening to you. Tired of being under the thumb of my husband’s House and tired of being a good little wife!” She gestured towards Mozek, who threw the first switch. There was a hum and then a roar. The lights flickered and the air became heavy as, unseen and malevolent, the vast presence of Castle Heterodyne filled the room.

“What is this place?” The Castle sounded confused. “It is a part of me, yet it is not.” It paused. “Lady Heterodyne,” it said in a voice filled with suspicion. “This is your doing. You are meddling where you should not!”

Lucrezia laughed scornfully. “And that is the last time you will tell me what I should or should not do!” She grasped the final switch. “Things are going to be different around here!” With a shout of triumph, she threw the switch—

And things were very different indeed.

NOW, WHERE WERE WE . . .

CHAPTER 1

Lucrezia blinked as she awoke. She had been outdoors, with dear Klaus1—she had him, and his empire, very nearly under her thumb—but now he was gone and she was indoors. She realized with surprise that she was in the secret laboratory she had established beneath Castle Heterodyne . . . oh, how long had it been since she had worked here? Since she had been the young rebellious spark with such a malicious delight in her schemes? Her head swam. It seemed an eternity. So much had happened to her since then. The room was dusty now, damaged and neglected since the fall of Castle Heterodyne, but she still remembered it well. Someone was standing over her. A girl. “Oh! My goodness. Who—?” she began weakly. It couldn’t hurt to play vulnerable, put whoever it was off their guard. Looking vulnerable was easy in the body she currently wore—that of the youthful Agatha Heterodyne.

The girl looked down at her and smiled. “Hello, Auntie Lucrezia. I’m here to help you.”

Lucrezia rocked back in astonishment as she beheld the face of her long-estranged sister hanging ominously above her. She looked as if she had never aged beyond the carefree days when all three Mongfish sisters still lived in their father’s fortress and gloried in their fame as the three beautiful daughters of the supremely evil spark Lucifer Mongfish. “Demonica?”2

Zola laughed in delight. “Yes, everyone says that I look just like dear Mama!” She drew herself up. “But no. I am Zola Anya Talinka Venia Zeblinkya Malfeazium.”

Lucrezia looked haunted and glanced around. Her fingers twitched towards a nearby wrench. “First Serpentina’s boy, then you. I swear, if Daddy is waiting to pop out from around a chair . . . ”

Zola waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, Grandfather died years ago, in a freak airship explosion.” Lucrezia raised her eyebrows. Zola shrugged, “I know! Such a clichй.3 We still laugh about it at Christmas. But no, no, it’s just me.”

“Excellent,” said Lucrezia, as she swung the wrench upward, knocking Zola cold with one smooth blow.

Zola awoke with an aching head and the realization she was restrained. A few subtle tests revealed that whoever had secured her knew her business.

“Now don’t bother trying to escape, dear,” Lucrezia sang out from a workbench. “I gather from the wide variety of items you were carrying—some in rather uncomfortable places, I’d imagine—that you are very well trained.” She used a forceps to exhibit a cleverly made sheath housing several small, wicked-looking knives.

She put the knives down and fastidiously wiped the forceps with a moldering rag. “But you won’t get out of that, dear. I’ve been tying people up since before you were born.”

“You don’t have to do this! We’re on the same side, Auntie,” Zola protested. “I’ve been spying on your daughter and her minions even before they shut down the Castle!”

Lucrezia stared at her. “She . . . ” Lucrezia looked down at the body that her mind currently occupied. “My daughter has shut down Castle Heterodyne?”

Zola blinked. “You couldn’t tell?”

Lucrezia waved a hand at the cavern walls. “Not from down here, darling. This little retreat was so perfect because that interfering Castle wasn’t even aware it was here.” She gnawed gently at her lower lip. “Dead. Well that changes a few things . . . ”

Zola tried again. “Auntie, I was going to help you.”

Lucrezia raised an eyebrow and smiled wistfully. “My, you are just like dear Demonica, aren’t you?” She twirled around and whisked a dust sheet off of a mid-sized machine that sat lifeless to one side. “Well, don’t you worry, my dear, you are going to help me.”

Zola looked at the device and flinched. “AH! That’s some kind of Beacon Engine!”

Lucrezia was a bit thrown by this. How did the girl know about the Summoning Engines? That would need to be answered, but later. For now, she tried to hide her confusion. “Not exactly, darling, this is some of my earlier work. It produced some amusing results and was very helpful in developing my later, most useful, devices. With a few simple adjustments, I think it will do very well for what I have in mind today.”

So saying, she lifted a panel off the machine and began tinkering. Zola stared and then, with a small shudder, looked aside. Trying to watch a spark at work was just asking for violent headaches and disturbing flashbacks.

Lucrezia blithely chatted on as she worked. “You are obviously familiar with the plans of the Order’s Inner Circle. That will save us all so much tedious exposition.” Lucrezia looked at Zola expectantly, but the girl kept silent, eyes narrowed and averted. Lucrezia sniffed and continued to tinker with the machine. Finally, she could stand the silence no more. “Well, if you must know,” she continued, “my poor, stupid admirers in the Grand Sycophantic Order of the Knights of Jupiter, or wh

atever nonsense they called their ridiculous secret society, were supposed to do little else but search for this girl Agatha—my daughter. She was supposed to be the perfect receptacle for me. For my mind.” Lucrezia slumped back against the bench and frowned. “But now that I’m in the girl’s body, no thanks to them, it appears that I might have made a . . . a mistake depending on her.”