Daphne Lamb: The Girl's Guide to the Apocalypse

Once it was open, Frank jumped out. We huddled in silence as we waited.

“It’s real quiet!” he shouted.

“Frank, shut up,” I muttered.

“I don’t think there’s anyone around,” he yelled.

“Frank, please,” I said.

“I think it’s a shame that you’re so intolerant of someone else’s happiness,” Debra said. “He’s just expressing being himself in the solitude of a new world.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” I said.

“You are really negative,” Bruce said.

Suddenly, gun shots rang out. I jumped, startled and hit the floor again. Frank yelped in pain for a moment, then his body hit the ground.

I gasped. The rest of the group just stared. The Hispanic woman slowly sank into her seat and held the sleeve to her sweatshirt to her mouth.

“Geez,” Robert said. “What do we do now?”

“Clearly,” Debra said. “The last thing we do is announce to the world that we’re by ourselves and unarmed like Frank did. Idiot.”

“What about this,” I said as I lowered my hands for a moment to let my thoughts out. “Maybe if we get out a different way. I’d like to find my family, so we could head east. Bruce’s family is that way.”

Debra looked down at me. “That is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said.

“I’m with Debra,” Robert said. “We’d be heading toward the ocean. It’s not as populated, and maybe we can find some better help than hanging out in a school bus.”

An older woman approached us, small and stocky, dark hair and dark eyes. She wore baggy shorts and a t-shirt with a patchwork teddy bear on it, offering flowers.

“My aunt lives out that way,” the woman said. “She could help.”

“I’m sold,” Bruce said, looking at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the woman. “Who are you?”

“Does it matter?” Robert said. “She wants to give us free room and board.”

“It does matter,” I said. “I shouldn’t have to explain why.”

The woman smiled again. “My name is Priscilla,” she said. “My husband didn’t make it and I don’t want to be alone.”

“There,” Robert gestured to her. “Are you happy? Lets just follow this stranger.”

I briefly thought about parting ways to look for my family, but the fear of being alone was stronger. So I nodded.

Reluctantly, Debra and Bruce agreed, and we followed Robert out, trying not to look at the bodies along the way, crouched low to the ground so no one would see us.

We followed a wide road that at one time was heavily trafficked and now was completely desolate now. Priscilla pointed out things from time to time, but we were mostly silent.

“If we can get to my aunt’s house,” she said. “We’ll be safe.”

In all this time, I still hadn’t gotten to go to the bathroom. My bladder was in pain, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Guys, I’ve got a thing to do,” I said. With that I dashed behind someone’s Dumpster and crouched down. I unbuckled my pants and relaxed, closing my eyes.

“Verdell, I was thinking,” Robert said.

I opened my eyes to see Robert standing over me.

“Do you mind?” I asked, startled, trying to cover myself. “I’m taking care of some private business here.”

“I can’t talk to Debra about everything, so I thought I’d ask you,” he said. “Do you think I’m filling out around here?” he said, touching his gut. “I try to keep in shape, but lately, I’m not doing the same schedule I’m used to.”

I tried to stand while maintaining all modesty. “Sir,” I said. “You look great, but please pick better timing.” He looked slightly hurt. “Seriously, you look great,” I said. “Don’t sweat it.”

That seemed to make him happy, so I went in the same direction as the rest of the group, Robert trailing behind. We followed them up into what used to be busy neighborhoods, but now were abandoned and broken down. We turned up one street where the entire row of houses had been burned down and left in ashes.

“Where is this place?” I asked.

Priscilla’s face had turned white. “I don’t know,” she said. “It should be here. They were all supposed to be here.”

Her hand went to her mouth and tears welled up in her eyes. I put my arm around her and had no idea what to do next as her shoulders shook. Even then I felt like the human contact I could offer was the bare minimum at most.

She nodded. “Where would everyone be now?”

There was a rustling of the bushes, and both of us tensed at the same time. Her hand squeezed mine painfully tight.

Bruce jumped out of the bushes into sight.

“Oh,” he said. “It’s just you.”

“What are you doing?” I asked, rushing for him. “I don’t know what you think is back there.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Maybe there’s hidden supplies or keys to a car. I don’t know. That’s what they would have done on Burning Rubber .”

I threw my arms around him. “That’s the name of the show Steve Harks was on! Could not remember for the life of me.”

He rolled his eyes and stepped away. “There you go again,” he said. “Taking things I care about and making them into a joke.”

His mood had an instant effect on me. I smiled sardonically at him and put my hands up in surrender. “You’re right,” I said. “I should have just followed your mind path to this abandoned neighborhood.”

“Really?” He sighed heavily. “Can’t you just stop with the sarcasm? It’s always made you really unlikeable.”

A stab to the heart for sure, but for some reason it didn’t hurt as much as it had in the past.

I put my hands down. “Where are Robert and Debra?”

He sighed. “Up the hill. There’s a house, completely empty. It overlooks the ocean on the other side.”

He went to charge up the hill.

“Isn’t there a road?” I called after him.

“It’s all washed out.” He stopped and put his hands on his hips. “You coming or not?”

I went to follow him and tried to take his hand, but was only able to graze it momentarily. For the first time in our relationship, he didn’t want to hold my hand. I put it on my mental con list. It may have taken an Apocalypse, but I was seeing things clearer. I let it go.

Priscilla panted hard behind me. “I’m not used to such hiking,” she said.

“Not much farther,” I said. “Probably. Right, Bruce?”

He didn’t answer.

“Up here!” I heard Debra shout.

We followed the sound of her voice to a large house, once beautiful but now falling apart. Many of the windows were broken out, and people had spray painted messages on the sides of it. It was mostly names, numbers and where they could be found if others were looking for them. I stopped and scanned the scrawling, looking for anything or anyone familiar.

Robert opened the door. “You made it!” he said with a big smile.

“How did you guys make it up here?” I asked. “Especially so much faster than Priscilla and I?”

He shrugged. “Just got tired of waiting, I suppose. Also, Debra had to use the bathroom.”

I shook my head. “There were lots of other houses,” I said. “You just kept going until one spoke to you? Wait.” I looked around. “There’s a bathroom here? You’re telling me I used a Dumpster out in the open like a jerk?”

Debra poked her head out of a broken window.

“You say that like it’s a big fat joke,” she said. “And it’s not. Just because we’re going through a hard time doesn’t mean we have to live like savages. You can still be picky about a bathroom.” She paused, then took a deep breath. It seemed she was doing everything she could to keep her shaky emotions in check. “So just for that,” she said. “No one gets to use this bathroom. It’s mine!” She went back inside, slamming the window.