Jon Athan - Am I Beautiful?

Miki exclaimed, “Just kidding!”

“Just… kidding?” Matt repeated with an uncertain smile.

“I’m not one of those crazy girls. I know what I’m doing—what I’m going to do.”

“Wha–What are you—”

“Can you take a right here?” Miki interrupted.

Matt said, “Skid Row is that way.”

“You scared?”

“No, I’m… What? No. It’s not like it’s dangerous or anything like that, but it’s not the safest place at night and it’s not even close to my pad.”

Miki said, “It’s just that you’re swerving a little bit and there’s still a lot of traffic here. I don’t want to get into an accident or get you pulled over. You drank, I drank… It wouldn’t look good. Besides, I wanted to stop by Little Tokyo. There’s something I want to buy for us.”

“What?”

Miki leaned closer to his ear and whispered, “It’s a secret.”

Her sultry voice made the hairs at the back of his neck prickle. He gulped loudly, then he nodded and took a right turn. Within a few blocks, they found themselves in Skid Row. Tents, tarps, and cardboard boxes lined the streets. A few people loitered on the corners, listening to music on boomboxes while smoking and drinking. Others walked around, collecting cans or just making their way home. Shopping carts rattled and screeched on every street.

Miki said, “Stop.”

“Huh?” Matt grunted.

“Stop the car.”

“Here? In the–the middle of the street?”

“Please.”

Matt checked the rearview and sideview mirrors. There were no cars behind him. He made sure the doors were locked, then he pulled over.

“What is it?” he asked.”

Miki pointed in front of her and said, “Go into that alley.”

“What’s going on?”

Miki bit her bottom lip as she glanced at him. She lowered her head and blushed, swiping at the hair dangling in front of her face.

Matt laughed and said, “Come on, what is it?”

Miki said, “I want to fuck you here. In Skid Row. Right in that alley.”

“Are you… Are you being serious?”

“I’m so wet right now,” she whispered.

Matt, still laughing, couldn’t contain his excitement. His dick was already semi-erect. He looked over his shoulder and spotted two homeless men standing next to a blue tent on the sidewalk. He didn’t see any cops around. He drove forward, the car practically crawling towards the alley. He braked again. He felt his pulse in his fingers as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

Miki asked, “Don’t you wanna fuck me?”

Matt sighed. He had fantasized about public sex. He wasn’t ashamed of it, but he was worried about getting caught. He couldn’t help but imagine the conversation with his mother. ‘ Hey, mom. I just got arrested for banging a girl in my car in Skid Row. Can you bail me out? ’ At the same time, he couldn’t resist the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. He gave Miki a shaky smile, she answered with a wink, and then the car rolled into the alley.

Matt couldn’t hear the world outside of his car. He only heard their lips smacking, his shuddery breaths, and Miki’s sensual moans. It was as if the homeless community—which seemed to grow every day in Los Angeles—had vanished as soon as they started kissing. He couldn’t see much in the dark vehicle, either. He had tried to turn on the dome light, but Miki stopped him. Shadows hid her scarred face. The alcohol flowing through Matt’s body helped blur his vision, too. His seat was reclined, one hand on the nape of her neck and the other on her ass.

Miki was sprawled on top of him and the center console. Her boots thudded on the steering wheel and dashboard as she writhed in pleasure. She leaned away from him to catch her breath. He lunged at her, kissing her lips, cheeks, chin, neck— everywhere . Miki moaned again. It was so loud that it caught the attention of two black cats laying on the brick wall next to the car. The sidewalk was a few meters away, but the transients couldn’t hear them from the other side of the dumpster. The local self-proclaimed preacher, yelling about the end of the world down the street, helped mask their noise as well.

As Matt kissed her jaw, Miki whispered, “Unbutton your pants.”

Like a trained dog, Matt did as he was told. He unbuttoned his pants while kissing and licking Miki’s neck. Then he pulled his pants and boxers down, letting his erect penis flop out.

“Take off your jacket,” Matt said.

“Not yet.”

“Come on.”

“No, not yet. I like it like this.”

“Yeah? You like CFNM?”

CFNM stood for ‘clothed female, naked male.’ It was a genre of pornography Matt occasionally enjoyed. Miki didn’t know what he was talking about, but she nodded anyway. Her gloved hands went down to his crotch. She massaged his scrotum, then she stroked his penis—one hand at a time. His dick made a squishy sound because of the pre-ejaculate pooling under his foreskin.

“Ah, shit, that’s good,” Matt murmured.

“Close your eyes,” Miki said.

“Take off your clothes, baby.”

“I will, but you have to close your eyes first.”

“I wanna see your—”

Miki stroked the shaft of his penis with her left hand and rubbed her right palm gently against the glans. Matt hissed as if he had burned himself on a stove. He felt the warmth of ecstasy coursing through him. He put his head against the headrest and stared at the ceiling with a dumbfounded expression. He blinked slowly, as if he were dozing off—as if Miki were pulling the life out of him through his dick. Then he closed his eyes.

“How’s it feel?” Miki whispered into his ear.

Matt said, “Amazing… I want to… fuck you.”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’re going to wish you never met me.”

Matt laughed like a dentist’s patient under nitrous oxide. He wanted to say something along the lines of: ‘ What the hell is that supposed to mean? ’ But pleasure stole his voice. Miki took her palm off his glans, but she kept stroking him with her other hand.

Matt blindly reached for her arm and said, “Don’t stop.”

“Shh.”

“Come on, please don’t stop.”

“ Shh. ”

Matt heard her coat shuffling. Her foot hit the radio and her knee struck the door.

“You getting naked?” he asked.

Just as he lifted his head from the headrest, Miki kissed him and pushed him back down. She moved on top of him, but she stopped touching his dick. He thrust his hips up at her, fucking the air like pollution.

He whispered, “Don’t tease me like that. Let’s just fuh—”

He yelped in pain. His eyes snapped open and his mouth widened, but he couldn’t see or say anything. He arched his neck, tilted his head back, and cried again. He felt a hot, stinging pain at the base of his scrotal sac. Then the pain spread into his scrotum. A hot liquid splashed on his thighs and dripped onto the seat.

As if he had finally realized something was wrong, he began to panic. He screamed and thrashed about under Miki, arms and legs hitting the door and the center console. Another jolt of pain burst from his genitals. His testicles were unbound, prolapsing from a wound at the bottom of his scrotum. Saliva spurted from between his gritted teeth.

“S–S–Stop!” he cried.

Matt pushed Miki up. The back of her head and neck hit the ceiling of the car, but she stayed on top of him. Through his tears and the darkness, he saw the shears in Miki’s hands and the blades in his scrotum. Miki squeezed the handles again, cutting up towards his penis. The blades severed his spermatic cords. One of his testicles—pink but beaded with blood—bounced on the seat between his thighs.