Kim Harrison - Dates From Hell

“Do you need a hand? Shall I put it on for you?” Kyle asked, noting that she was still just staring at the pin.

“No,” Claire said sharply, then forced another smile and said more calmly, “No, I don’t want to put holes in Jill’s satin gown. Do they have stick-on name tags?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He turned to the table to ask Maureen, swiveling back a moment later to say, “Apparently if you slide the label out of the clear casing, the label itself peels off its backing.”

“Oh, good,” Claire breathed and set to work taking the label apart.

“There we are.” Kyle smiled as she finished with the pin and slapped the label onto the black satin of her chest, which really was her chest, Claire realized, and hoped it wouldn’t hurt to peel it off.

“Shall we?”

Shrugging off the concern of removing the name tag, Claire smiled. She placed her hand on the arm he offered and allowed him to lead her into the reunion. Once through the doors, Claire peered around at the tables set everywhere. They were covered with maroon-colored tablecloths and had silver and maroon centerpieces. These were the school colors, and most of the decorations carried them. With the lighting low as it was and all the decorations hanging about, it was easy to forget it was a gymnasium. Someone had decorated it with the same moonlight, stars, and heavenly aspect theme as at their prom some ten years ago.

“It feels strange to be back here, doesn’t it?” Kyle said with a wry smile.

“Yes,” Claire agreed and gave a small shake of her head as she peered over the people milling about, wondering who they all were. “I’m torn between feeling old because I don’t recognize anyone, and yet feeling like a teenager again. I’d almost expect old Mr. Hardwick to come marching up and ask for my book report.”

Kyle chuckled at her words, but frowned slightly as he peered around. “Everyone looks so different. Surely we haven’t changed as much as everyone else appears to have?”

“Maybe,” Claire said, peering at him. Kyle had aged well, growing into his looks and his body. He’d been much thinner when he was young, almost gawky. As had she, Claire supposed, but merely said, “Do you recognize anyone?”

“Not really. But there were a lot of—Oh, I spoke too soon. I do recognize someone.”

“Who?” Claire asked curiously, following his gaze.

“Magda Richardson at two o’clock and closing in on us like a shark,” he announced, then added, “I apologize in advance for any nastiness she may spew our way.”

“Why should you apologize?” Claire asked with surprise.

“Because Magda has gone out of her way to be rude to me and anyone I was with since she cornered me in the science lab in grade twelve and tried to trade kisses for help with homework. I refused.”

“Magda hit on you in high school?” Claire asked with shock.

“Yeah. But I think she just wanted help with her science project. Still, she wasn’t too pleased when I said, ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’ The few times I’ve run into her over the last ten years, she’s been sure to be rude.” He frowned. “Is that Ted with her? I thought he broke up with Jill because he was marrying some—”

“Magda was the ‘Ted’s wife lotto’ winner,” Claire informed him dryly as she noted the smug look on the man’s handsome face as they approached. Kyle, of course, hadn’t been privy to the news when Jill had shared it with her.

“You’re joking,” Kyle said, half with disgust and half with disbelief.

“I wish I were,” Claire muttered under her breath as the other couple reached them.

“Well, if it isn’t Murphy High’s very own science geeks,” Magda drawled, looking down her nose at them. “So you two twits finally got together.”

“Magda,” Kyle greeted her dryly. “Charming as ever, I see.”

“Charm is overrated, Kyle,” Magda informed him sweetly. “Honesty is in now.” She tightened her hold on Ted’s arm and dragged him forward. “I should introduce my fiancé, Ted Leacock. He’s an important business owner here in town.”

“Important?” Kyle asked dryly, not bothering to extend his hand in greeting. “As it happens, Ted and I are well acquainted.”

“You are?” Magda didn’t look pleased at this news, but Ted Claire was more interested in watching. The man with incredible balls had lost his smug look and was starting to appear a tad nervous. It seemed while he’d been sure Jill would keep their relationship quiet, he hadn’t considered Kyle in the equation.

“Yes. We’ve met at least once a week for the last six months when he came to pick up my sister for dates, or weekends away,” Kyle announced calmly, then smiled at Magda. “Of course, they’re broken up now. I guess that means you’re marrying Jill’s castoff.”

Dead silence fell between the four of them, during which Magda’s face flushed with a mounting fury. When Ted’s mouth began to work silently like a fish out of water, Kyle took Claire’s arm and said, “We should circulate, but it was so nice seeing you. I do hope the two of you are as happy as you deserve to be.”

Claire bit her lip at the double-edged comment as Kyle led her away. A glance over her shoulder showed Magda had turned furiously on Ted and was now berating him something fierce. If he wasn’t such a jerk, Claire might almost have felt sorry for the man.

Shaking her head, she turned to Kyle and murmured, “You handled that beautifully. Ted lost his smug look in a hurry.”

“Yes, but Jill will be upset with me, I suppose,” he said on a sigh.

“I don’t think she will. You put both of them in their place with the ‘Jill’s castoff’ crack,” Claire said with amusement. “Besides, she has a special date herself tonight, one that should finish setting Magda and Ted on their ears.”

“Really?” Kyle asked with interest. “Who?”

Claire bit her lip and hesitated, unsure how to answer. He was going to be shocked enough when he saw Jill enter—seemingly on the arm of Brad Cruise. In the end, Claire decided to let Jill deal with it and shook her head. “You’ll see soon enough.”

Kyle peered at her closely. For a minute, she feared he might press the issue, but he apparently decided to let it go. He merely asked if she’d care for a drink, then moved toward the bar.

Claire peered around at the other attendees as she waited. At least half the tables were filled. No doubt most of the attendees would show up over the next half hour before she slipped out to the parking lot. Jill and her “date” would probably be nearly the last, if not the last people to arrive, which was just as Jill wanted it. If everyone was seated for the meal when they entered, it meant absolutely everyone would see who—or who they would believe—was on her arm as she sashayed in.

Claire took a deep breath and tried not to let panic overwhelm her as she thought about what was to come. She and Jill had discussed it in detail before she’d left with Kyle for the reunion, trying to cover every possible problem with their plan. The first issue to crop up was her voice. While Claire could make herself look like Brad Cruise, nothing she could do would make her sound like the man. They had decided she wasn’t to talk. Jill would claim she—he, Claire corrected herself, he —Brad Cruise—had a bad case of laryngitis. Claire had also insisted on no autographs; it was one thing to pretend to be Brad Cruise at a school reunion, and quite another to indulge in forgery by signing his autograph for a couple hundred people.

“They didn’t have Châteauneuf-du-Pape, so I got you Montepulciano.”

Claire glanced up and smiled as Kyle offered her a glass of wine. “Thank you.”