Lisa Smith: The Awakening

“For a while he joined one of the Free Companies, ruthless mercenaries whose business was to rob and plunder. He wandered across the country with them, fighting and drinking the blood of his victims.

“I was living beyond the city gates by then, half starved, preying on animals, an animal myself. For a long time, I heard nothing about Damon. Then one day I heard his voice in my mind.

“He was stronger than I, because he was drinking human blood. And killing. Humans have the strongest life essence, and their blood gives power. And when they’re killed, somehow the life essence they give is strongest of all. It’s as if in those last moments of terror and struggle the soul is the most vibrant. Because Damon killed humans, he was able to draw on the Powers more than I was.”

“What… powers?” said Elena. A thought was growing in her mind.

“Strength, as you said, and quickness. A sharpening of all the senses, especially at night. Those are the basics. We can also… feel minds. We can sense their presence, and sometimes the nature of their thoughts. We can cast confusion about weaker minds, either to overwhelm them or to bend them to our will. There are others. With enough human blood we can change our shapes, become animals. And the more you kill, the stronger all the Powers become.”

“Damon’s voice in my mind was very strong. He said he was now the condottieri of his own company and he was coming back to Florence. He said that if I was there when he arrived he would kill me. I believed him, and I left. I’ve seen him once or twice since then. The threat is always the same, and he’s always more powerful. Damon’s made the most of his nature, and he seems to glory in its darkest side.”

“But it’s my nature, too. The same darkness is inside me. I thought that I could conquer it, but I was wrong. That’s why I came here, to Fell’s Church. I thought if I settled in some small town, far away from the old memories, I might escape the darkness. And instead, tonight, I killed a man.”

“ No ,” said Elena forcefully. “I don’t believe that, Stefan.” His story had filled her with horror and pity… and fear, too. She admitted that. But her disgust had vanished, and there was one thing she was sure about. Stefan wasn’t a murderer. “What happened tonight, Stefan? Did you argue with Tanner?”

“I… don’t remember,” he said bleakly. “I used the Power to persuade him to do what you wanted. Then I left. But later I felt the dizziness and the weakness come over me. As it has before.” He looked up at her directly. “The last time it happened was in the cemetery, right by the church, the night Vickie Bennett was attacked.”

“But you didn’t do that. You couldn’t have done that… Stefan?”

“I don’t know,” he said harshly. “What other explanation is there? And I did take blood from the old man under the bridge, that night you girls ran away from the graveyard. I would have sworn I didn’t take enough to harm him, but he almost died. And I was there when both Vickie and Tanner were attacked.”

“But you don’t remember attacking them,” said Elena, relieved. The idea that had been growing in her mind was now almost a certainty.

“What difference does it make? Who else could have done it, if not me?”

“Damon,” said Elena.

He flinched, and she saw his shoulders tighten again. “It’s a nice thought. I hoped at first that there might be some explanation like that. That it might be someone else, someone like my brother. But I’ve searched with my mind and found nothing, no other presence. The simplest explanation is that I’m the killer.”

“No,” said Elena, “you don’t understand. I don’t just mean that someone like Damon might do the things we’ve seen. I mean Damon is here, in Fell’s Church. I’ve seen him.”

Stefan just stared at her.

“It must be him,” Elena said, taking a deep breath. “I’ve seen him twice now, maybe three times. Stefan, you just told me a long story, and now I’ve got one to tell you.”

As quickly and simply as she could, she told him about what had happened in the gym, and at Bonnie’s house. His lips tightened into a white line as she told him how Damon had tried to kiss her. Her cheeks grew hot as she remembered her own response, how she had almost given in to him. But she told Stefan everything.

About the crow, too, and all the other strange things that had happened since she had come home from France.

“And, Stefan, I think Damon was at the Haunted House tonight,” she finished. “Just after you felt dizzy in the front room, someone passed me. He was dressed up like — like Death, in black robes and a hood, and I couldn’t see his face. But something about the way he moved was familiar. It was him, Stefan. Damon was there.”

“But that still wouldn’t explain the other times. Vickie and the old man. I did take blood from the old man.” Stefan’s face was taut, as if he were almost afraid to hope.

“But you said yourself you didn’t take enough to harm him. Stefan, who knows what happened to that man after you left? Wouldn’t it be the easiest thing in the world for Damon to attack him then? Especially if Damon’s been spying on you all along, maybe in some other form…”

“Like a crow,” murmured Stefan.

“Like a crow. And as for Vickie… Stefan, you said that you can cast confusion over weaker minds, overpower them. Couldn’t that be what Damon was doing to you? Overpowering your mind as you can overpower a human’s?”

“Yes, and shielding his presence from me.” There was mounting excitement in Stefan’s voice. “That’s why he hasn’t answered my calls. He wanted—”

“He wanted just what’s happened to happen. He wanted you to doubt yourself, to think you were a killer. But it isn’t true, Stefan . Oh, Stefan, you know that now, and you don’t have to be afraid anymore.” She stood up, feeling joy and relief course through her. Out of this hideous night, something wonderful had come.

“That’s why you’ve been so distant with me, isn’t it?” she said, holding out her hands to him. “Because you’re afraid of what you might do. But there’s no need for that any longer.”

“Isn’t there ?” He was breathing quickly again, and he eyed her outstretched hands as if they were two snakes. “You think there’s no reason to be afraid? Damon may have attacked those people, but he doesn’t control my thoughts. And you don’t know what I’ve thought about you.”

Elena kept her voice level. “You don’t want to hurt me,” she said positively.

“No? There have been times, watching you in public, when I could scarcely bear not to touch you. When I was so tempted by your white throat, your little white throat with the faint blue veins beneath the skin…” His eyes were fixed on her neck in a way that reminded her of Damon’s eyes, and she felt her heartbeat step up. “Times when I thought I would grab you and force you right there in the school.”

“There’s no need to force me,” said Elena. She could feel her pulse everywhere now; in her wrists and the inside of her elbows — and in her throat. “I’ve made my decision, Stefan,” she said softly, holding his eyes. “I want to.”

He swallowed thickly. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

“I think I do . You told me how it was with Katherine, Stefan. I want it to be like that with us. I don’t mean I want you to change me. But we can share a little without that happening, can’t we? I know,” she added, even more softly, “how much you loved Katherine. But she’s gone now, and I’m here. And I love you, Stefan. I want to be with you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” He was standing rigid, his face furious, his eyes anguished. “If I once let go, what’s to keep me from changing you, or killing you? The passion is stronger than you can imagine. Don’t you understand yet what I am, what I can do?”