Lisa Smith: The Awakening

Something in her look made him remember how she had interrupted him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then went quickly to pick up a glass of water that stood unharmed on the nightstand. He could feel her eyes on him as he drank it and wiped his mouth again. Oh, he still cared what she thought, all right.

“You can eat and drink… other things,” she said.

“I don’t need to,” he said quietly, feeling weary and subdued. “I don’t need anything else.” He whipped around suddenly and felt passionate intensity rise in him again. “You said I was quick — but that’s just what I’m not. Have you ever heard the saying ‘the quick and the dead,’ Elena? Quick means living; it means those who have life. I’m the other half.”

He could see that she was trembling. But her voice was calm, and her eyes never left his. “Tell me,” she said again. “Stefan, I have a right to know.”

He recognized those words. And they were as true as when she had first said them. “Yes, I suppose you do,” he said, and his voice was tired and hard. He stared at the broken window for a few heartbeats and then looked back at her and spoke flatly. “I was born in the late fifteenth century. Do you believe that?”

She looked at the objects that lay where he’d scattered them from the bureau with one furious sweep of his arm. The florins, the agate cup, his dagger. “Yes,” she said softly. “Yes, I believe it.”

“And you want to know more? How I came to be what I am?” When she nodded, he turned to the window again. How could he tell her? He, who had avoided questions for so long, who had become such an expert at hiding and deceiving.

There was only one way, and that was to tell the absolute truth, concealing nothing. To lay it all before her, what he had never offered to any other soul.

And he wanted to do it. Even though he knew it would make her turn away from him in the end, he needed to show Elena what he was.

And so, staring into the darkness outside the window, where flashes of blue brilliance occasionally lit the sky, he began.

He spoke dispassionately, without emotion, carefully choosing his words. He told her of his father, that solid Renaissance man, and of his world in Florence and at their country estate. He told her of his studies and his ambitions. Of his brother, who was so different than he, and of the ill feeling between them.

“I don’t know when Damon started hating me,” he said. “It was always that way, as long as I can remember. Maybe it was because my mother never really recovered from my birth. She died a few years later. Damon loved her very much, and I always had the feeling that he blamed me.” He paused and swallowed. “And then, later, there was a girl.”

“The one I remind you of?” Elena said softly. He nodded. “The one,” she said, more hesitantly, “who gave you the ring?”

He glanced down at the silver ring on his finger, then met her eyes. Then, slowly, he drew out the ring he wore on the chain beneath his shirt and looked at it.

“Yes. This was her ring,” he said. “Without such a talisman, we die in sunlight as if in a fire.”

“Then she was… like you?”

“She made me what I am.” Haltingly, he told her about Katherine. About Katherine’s beauty and sweetness, and about his love for her. And about Damon’s.

“She was too gentle, filled with too much affection,” he said at last, painfully. “She gave it to everyone, including my brother. But finally, we told her she had to choose between us. And then… she came to me.”

The memory of that night, of that sweet, terrible night came sweeping back. She had come to him. And he had been so happy, so full of awe and joy. He tried to tell Elena about that, to find the words. All that night he had been so happy, and even the next morning, when he had awakened and she was gone, he had been throned on highest bliss…

It might almost have been a dream, but the two little wounds on his neck were real. He was surprised to find that they did not hurt and that they seemed to be partially healed already. They were hidden by the high neck of his shirt.

Her blood burned in his veins now, he thought, and the very words made his heart race. She had given her strength to him; she had chosen him.

He even had a smile for Damon when they met at the designated place that evening. Damon had been absent from the house all day, but he showed up in the meticulously landscaped garden precisely on time, and stood lounging against a tree, adjusting his cuff. Katherine was late.

“Perhaps she is tired,” Stefan suggested, watching the melon-colored sky fade into deep midnight blue. He tried to keep the shy smugness from his voice. “Perhaps she needs more rest than usual.”

Damon glanced at him sharply, his dark eyes piercing under the shock of black hair. “Perhaps,” he said on a rising note, as if he would have said more.

But then they heard a light step on the path, and Katherine appeared between the box hedges. She was wearing her white gown, and she was as beautiful as an angel.

She had a smile for both of them. Stefan returned the smile politely, speaking their secret only with his eyes. Then he waited.

“You asked me to make my choice,” she said, looking first at him and then at his brother. “And now you have come at the hour I appointed, and I will tell you what I have chosen.”

She held up her small hand, the one with the ring on it, and Stefan looked at the stone, realizing it was the same deep blue as the evening sky. It was as if Katherine carried a piece of the night with her, always.

“You have both seen this ring,” she said quietly. “And you know that without it I would die. It is not easy to have such talismans made, but fortunately my woman Gudren is clever. And there are many silversmiths in Florence.”

Stefan was listening without comprehension, but when she turned to him he smiled again, encouragingly.

“And so,” she said, gazing into his eyes. “I have had a present made for you.” She took his hand and pressed something into it. When he looked he saw that it was a ring in the same fashion as her own, but larger and heavier, and wrought in silver instead of gold.

“You do not need it yet to face the sun,” she said softly, smiling. “But very soon you will.”

Pride and rapture made him mute. He reached for her hand to kiss it, wanting to take her into his arms right then, even in front of Damon. But Katherine was turning away.

“And for you,” she said, and Stefan thought his ears must be betraying him, for surely the warmth, the fondness in Katherine’s voice could not be for his brother, “for you, also. You will need ft very soon as well.”

Stefan’s eyes must be traitors, too. They were showing him what was impossible, what could not be. Into Damon’s hand Katherine was putting a ring just like his own.

The silence that followed was absolute, like the silence after the world’s ending.

“Katherine—” Stefan could barely force out the words. “How can you give that to him ? After what we shared—”

“What you shared?” Damon’s voice was like the crack of a whip, and he turned on Stefan angrily. “Last night she came to me. The choice is already made.” And Damon jerked down his high collar to show two tiny wounds in his throat. Stefan stared at them, fighting down the bright sickness. They were identical to his own wounds.

He shook his head in utter bewilderment. “But, Katherine… it was not a dream. You came to me …”

“I came to both of you.” Katherine’s voice was tranquil, even pleased, and her eyes were serene. She smiled at Damon and then at Stefan in turn. “It has weakened me, but I am so glad I did. Don’t you see?” she continued as they stared at her, too stunned to speak. “This is my choice! I love you both, and I will not give either of you up. Now we all three will be together, and be happy.”