David Ambrose: Superstition

“There's a widely held belief,” Sam told her, “that ghosts are actually psychokinetic manifestations-the projections of our own consciousness.”

The memory of his conversation with Joanna over their first lunch many months earlier almost overwhelmed him. He buried the emotion in more words, standard explanations, reassuring half-truths.

“We take our consciousness so much for granted, we forget that so much of what we see isn't something that's objectively out there. Colors, for example, don't exist ‘out there’ in their own right. They're the eye's and brain's response to certain wavelengths of light.”

“But the light's out there,” Bob Cross said, like a man with only limited tolerance for such abstractions.

“Well, yes…”

“That's something, at least.”

Elizabeth Cross stood with her hands clasped nervously in front of her. None of them had thought of sitting down, although there was ample place to do so. Somehow this didn't seem like a conversation to be had sitting down.

“I'm afraid all this talk of whether things come from inside us or from somewhere else is a little beyond me,” she said. “Things happen, that's all I know.”

“And that's the most important thing we can say about them,” Sam said. “In fact, it's probably the only thing.”

Elizabeth Cross took a few steps, composing herself for what she was about to say. Sam saw Bob Cross watching her with concern. He, apparently, knew what was coming and was unhappy about it.

“There's an idea I haven't been able to get out of my mind ever since that poor young woman was hammering at my door last night. I don't know why I called the police. I shouldn't have. I just panicked and…” She broke off, overcome by emotion for a moment. Her husband went to her and put his hands on her arms.

“Elizabeth, don't…you'll just upset yourself again…”

“No, I want to say it. I think if we're asking Dr. Towne to investigate this…this thing, whatever…it's wrong to hold anything back.” She looked at Sam. “My husband knows what I'm going to say. He thinks it's a silly idea…”

“Please, go ahead,” Sam encouraged her.

With a nervous glance at her husband, she began. “Bob and I had a child before Joanna, but she died at birth. She would have been called Joanna, too. It was a terrible time for us, you can imagine. But when I discovered that I was pregnant again a year later, and when the baby was another girl, we decided to call her Joanna, too. In a way we both thought of her as the same little girl, alive and coming back to us. We felt as though we were giving back some kind of life to the poor little Joanna who died. It probably sounds absurd to anyone else, but that was the reason why we called her Joanna.”

Her gaze had become fixed on Sam, though no less so than his on her.

Bob Cross stood at the third point of the triangle, though he knew he was outside what was going on between them at that moment. He was an honest, down-to-earth man not given to this type of speculation. It made him uneasy, though he was not entirely sure why.

“Could that woman have been the ghost of our little girl?” Elizabeth Cross asked, her eyes beseeching Sam, if not for an answer, at least for an understanding of the pain behind the question.

It was several minutes before Joanna came in to join them-long enough for Elizabeth Cross to get over the tears that actually putting the question to Sam had unleashed in her. She and her husband now sat a little awkwardly on the edge of the dark red fabric-covered sofa. He was comforting her, and she was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

Sam turned away for a moment to give them their privacy. He looked out of the window into the busy street below and thought back over his answer. It had been pretty noncommittal and well within the boundaries of his agreement with Ralph. Yet it was as honest as he could make it. He didn't know what other answer there could be.

“I'm all right,” she said, clearing her throat and blowing her nose. “I'm sorry, I'm all right now.”

Sam turned back to her. She was looking up at him, smiling an apology for her weakness.

“This isn't something that we've mentioned to Joanna, by the way. She knows about the other baby, of course, the sister she might have had. But we haven't mentioned it in…” she made a vague, general gesture, “in this context. I thought maybe it would be best not to.”

“I think you're right,” Sam said with what reassurance he could muster. “I don't see that it would particularly help in any way.”

The door opened and Joanna came into the room. She wore jeans and a turtleneck sweater, and had her hair tied behind her head. She looked subdued and oddly fragile.

“Dr. Towne-thank you for coming. Please tell me what's happening.”

Before he could say anything, she caught sight of her mother furtively hiding the handkerchief with which she'd been dabbing at her face.

“Mom, you've been crying! Please don't.”

“I'm all right…it's just all so…strange and upsetting.”

Joanna went over and gave her a hug.

“Don't worry-I'm sure everything's going to work out now that Dr. Towne's here.”

Ralph came back into the room and stood quietly by the bedroom door. Joanna turned to Sam.

“Ralph says you're going to stay in the house for a few days.”

“That's what I'd like to do.”

She looked at him. The way she was dressed, and with her eyes wide and questioning and with no makeup, she looked more like a strangely solemn teenager than a grown woman.

“Who is she?”

Sam was aware of Ralph's gaze on him, but he didn't look away from Joanna. “I can't say,” he said.

“You can't say? Or won't say? Or don't know?”

“I…don't know.”

She looked at him as though trying to divine whether he was lying to her or not.

“Why did she say ‘Help me’?”

“I don't know-yet. Maybe I'll be able to find out.”

“We must try to help her, whoever she is.”

“We will.”

Nobody else in the room spoke or moved, sensing that this was somehow a private moment between the two of them.

“Do you think I'm an awful coward not to go back?” She asked the question with a childlike seriousness, and waited for his answer.

“No. I don't think you should go back. I think it would be a mistake.”

“Why?”

He moved his head as though to say the answer was obvious.

“Ralph tells me that you're pregnant. That's a very good reason for being careful.”

“Do you think there's any danger?”

“I don't know. Sometimes it's more sensible not to find out.”

She continued to look at him, tipping her head slightly to one side, as though the angle gave her some insight into his thoughts.

“Is there something I don't know, Dr. Towne? Something that you're not telling me?”

Sam shook his head and gave a gentle smile. “No, I promise you.”

It was a lie, yet somehow an easy one. There was something about her that enchanted him, a freshness and an innocence that were all too rarely found.

“You have a very active imagination. That's another good reason for staying away from psychic phenomena.”

He looked over at Ralph.

“Don't let her go back there, Ralph-not yet.”

“Don't worry, I won't.”

Bob Cross gave a snort of impatience. “Well, I certainly intend to go over and take a look.”

Sam knew at once and instinctively that he had to prevent this, although he didn't know why-or, for that matter, quite how.

“If you'll forgive my saying so, Mr. Cross,” he began, trying to sound as deferential as he could, “I don't think that's a very good idea.”

“Why not?” Bob Cross looked at him in a way that suggested he'd better have good reasons to back up his advice.