Marianna Baer - Frost

“That’s what she’d called the maintenance worker about—to help her. But there were other things. I noticed some dried blood drops on the floor. Honestly, the whole place looked like a crime scene.” Her pointed stare made me feel like I was the suspected criminal.

“What did Celeste say?”

“She was very cagey. She said she was moving rooms because she didn’t like being in a bedroom with so many windows. Apparently, the blood was from a cut she got while moving the stuff.”

“I guess I’m not surprised she wanted to change the room setup,” I said. “She hates that bedroom.”

The dean’s eyebrows drew together. “There must be something else going on here, Leena. Why would she have left your trip like that, without telling you?”

“I haven’t spoken to her, so I don’t know,” I said. “The only thing I can imagine is that …” Peals of laugher filtered in from the next room. I waited until they stopped. “David and I are kind of, well … you know. Involved.”

“You are? Since when?”

“It’s pretty recent. Anyway, maybe it has something to do with that. Maybe she felt out of place or uncomfortable.”

Dean Shepherd rested her forearms on the desk and leaned in. “I don’t want to miss a warning sign that something more serious is going on. Given Celeste’s family situation, and her accident over the summer, I can’t just ignore what seems like troubling behavior. You’re sure there’s nothing else I need to know?”

I hated not to tell the whole truth, but I wanted to talk to Celeste, to find out what this was really about. And talk to David, too. If something were wrong, he’d expect me to tell him first.

Like a kid, I crossed my fingers under the desk. “Well, like I said, she’s never been comfortable in our bedroom. She can’t sleep in it. She has nightmares. I don’t know her well enough to know if it’s really the room, or if she’d have this trouble anywhere. I’m pretty sure the main problem is me and David, though. They’re really close, you know.”

“I know,” Dean Shepherd said, sitting back in her chair again. “Okay, well, I’ll trust you to let me know if you notice anything else, Leena. Although, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you’ve seriously compromised my trust by lying about your chaperones this weekend.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said, relieved that I seemed to have weathered the storm. The meeting hadn’t been nearly as bad as the scenarios I’d imagined—Celeste telling the dean she’d been persecuted all semester. “Being seniors, you know, it just didn’t seem like that big a deal. Over the summer our parents leave us alone all the time.”

“The rules at Barcroft apply just as much to seniors as they do to underclassmen. You know that.”

“I know.” Blah, blah, blah … I supposed she had to say all of this.

“I haven’t checked, but I believe this is the first strike against everyone involved. Luckily. So, you’ll meet with the disciplinary committee, but it won’t lead to anything as serious as expulsion.”

Her words hit me like a slap. “The disciplinary committee?” I said. “Really?”

“Of course. What did you think?”

What did I think? I thought she’d write it off as a stupid, but harmless, mistake.

I thought I was special.

I stood at the bottom of the narrow stairs, looking up at the closed door to Viv’s room waiting for me at the top. I hadn’t yet seen Celeste or the supposed disaster area. In the common room, the only sign of something amiss was a black garbage bag with Celeste’s violet comforter inside. It smelled like rotting fruit. I couldn’t imagine why, and didn’t really care. The only thing I cared about was being alone in my room. But I knew I had to face Viv and Abby first. If I delayed tel ing them, it would just be hanging over my head for longer.

I forced myself to lift my legs. Step. Step. Step. My hand felt heavy as a cement block when I raised it to knock on Viv’s door.

“Yeah?” Viv answered.

“Can I come in?” A question I never would have bothered asking before tonight.

There was a pause. “Whatever.”

Viv and Abby sat together on the bed, each holding a mug of tea. Normally, I’d have joined them, but I knew better, especially from the looks on their faces.

“You guys made it back okay?” I said, standing awkwardly just inside the doorway.

“Obviously.” Abby said. “Seeing as we’re here.”

“I’m so, so, sorry, you guys,” I said. “But I didn’t have any control over this. I didn’t know Celeste was leaving.”

“No control?” Abby said. “Seems to me you’re the one who told the dean about Viv’s parents. In other words, the one who ruined our weekend.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I feel terrible. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you guys.”

“What do you want, Leen?” Viv asked in a tired voice.

I drew a deep breath. “I talked to Dean Shepherd. And she said that we have to meet with the DC. But because it’s our first offense, we don’t have to worry about being kicked out.”

“Kicked out!” Abby sat up straighter. “Are you kidding?”

“I said we’re not going to be kicked out.”

“But it’s a first strike?” Abby said. “You know what that means? No drinking, no smoking, no illegal parietals or sneaking out at night. No anything! During senior year! If we’re caught doing anything, we’re kicked out. We might as well be handcuffed to our desks!”

“I know. I’m sorry. It sucks.”

Viv’s hand flew up to her mouth. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Abby said.

“Oh my God,” she repeated.

“Viv. What? ”

“Cameron,” Viv said, her voice quiet. “Freshman year. Before we were together. He was busted for drinking.”

“He’s on probation?” I said. How could I not have known that?

Viv nodded.

A weight dropped in my gut like a cannonball.

“Viv,” I said. “You know I didn’t mean—”

She pressed one hand against her eyes and waved the other in my direction. “Just go. Okay? Go.”

“Please, Viv, I—”

Abby glared at me. “What part of ‘go’ don’t you understand?”

Thankfully, the door to what was now Celeste’s bedroom was closed. I’d have locked it from the outside if I could.

Trembling, I took Cubby off the windowsill and opened the door to my closet, momentarily jarred by how uncomfortably large and bright it seemed, empty of clothes. But then the smell and the soft air reached for me, and I knew it was still the same. Celeste had dumped my clothes from the other room in a pile; it only took me a few moments to hang them up—everything except my ankle-length puffer coat, which I spread on the floor in one corner. The space wasn’t nearly as full as with Celeste’s wardrobe, but it would do. I scooted into the corner with the puffer as a cushion. No more worrying about Celeste walking in on me. And I didn’t foresee Abby or Viv coming to visit anytime soon. The thought made my throat swell. I breathed deeply, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent.

“What am I going to do?” I said to Cubby.

The ring of my phone from my pocket startled me. I only answered because it was David.

“How’d it go?” he said.

It took me a second to realize he meant the meeting with Dean Shepherd. “Okay,” I said.

“Really?”

I bit the inside of my lip, remembering. My voice trembled. “Well, sort of.” Then I started to cry. “Can we … I’m sorry, can I just talk to you tomorrow? I can’t really deal right now.”

“Of course. Are you okay, Leena? Have you seen Celeste?”

“No. Not yet.” And whenever I did would be too soon. “I’m sorry. I really have to go.”