Jordan Krall - Blow Up the Outside World

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Blow Up the Outside World: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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Get ready for the sleaziest alien invasion story you are ever going to read…
Take a seat in a seedy, downtown grindhouse theater. Check your seat for bodily fluids and when you finally step outside… check the skies…
The Valdrott are here. They observe us through thick glass, their amorphous features jiggling as they point and laugh and study our misery. Men, women, and androids are forced into torture of sex and death. This is their theater. Their entertainment.
Now with bonus stories that expand the Valdrott mythos, BLOW UP THE OUTSIDE WORLD is a SF mindfuck you’ll never forget. “Like David Lynch channelling Kilgore Trout.”
— KEVIN SWEENEY, author of The Pornographer-General “Beware the KralLomen, a nasty two-headed literary beast that will leave a slime trail as it chews a tunnel through your mind. The last time I let a KralLomen in my house it ate my Burroughs library, my porno mags, and three bags of frozen squid…. Clean as much as you want, the smell and depravity of the KralLomen sink in deep.”
— JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON, author of
and
“Jordan Krall and Ash Lomen fuse sleazy grit and mindbending surrealism with ease, combining to create a story as entertaining as it is unsettling.”
— ANDERSEN PRUNTY, author of
“Krall and Lomen made me realize I am nothing but a monkey on a rock.”
— GREGORY L. HALL, author of
and host of the
“I have no fuckin’ idea what this story is about, but I sure as hell want a tall glass of blue breast milk after reading it.”
— R. SCOTT McCOY, author of
and the man behind

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At that exact moment, high above the clouds and New York’s smog-choked cityscape, hovering invisible in the sky like hellish omens… the lights of every single Valdrott Ship within forty miles of the island went dead.

Then the sky over Manhattan began to fall.

* * *

“This was expected,” one Valdrott said to another in their horrid language.

The older Valdrott didn’t respond but simply raised a purple-crinkled eyebrow that was adorned with human nipple-flesh, rotten and engorged.

The younger Valdrott continued. “Manhattan…”

Again there was no response from the nipple-browed Valdrott who just slid its phallic eyes back into its tiny skull with a slow slurping sound. It shook its malformed head.

The younger monstrosity hissed. “Think I’m lying…playing games?”

Finally the old Valdrott spoke. “Games….games…”

“Our sigils are losing power. We need to blow it up…before we lose all the ships.

It must be done now.”

“Then blow it up,” the elder Valdrott said. “Was getting bored anyway.”

“I’ll contact the one called Oswald…or was it Potter?”

The older Valdrott spat. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”

* * *

Sarah’s shredded intestines recoiled like frightened snakes. The power had gone out and her innards were exposed to the air. The Saw Bugs had eaten away most of her insides but her body had started fighting back. Without any effort from Sarah, her cells began to eat away at the Bugs.

Her wounds started to close. The blood returned to her tear-stained face as she felt a renewed sense of vigor.

In seconds Sarah had healed completely.

But still, the ship she was in was falling fast, falling from space like a droplet of metallic rain and she still continued to think of the man who had beaten her. He had looked familiar, looked like someone she knew as a teenager. The abuse was painful nostalgia and oddly enough, she was starting to miss it.

* * *

Then the lights came on.

“Pain touches all of us like bittersweet tentacles,” I said, though I had no idea why I had said it out loud. I spat the words like an angry cat.

The room was empty now, no signs of Black Kinski or that thing in the silver coat. Somehow I could still feel an overwhelming dread that soon turned into pain as my kneecaps exploded like pipe bombs, sending bone shrapnel up to my eyes, blinding me momentarily. My spine turned to jelly, my body snapped forward, and I buried my face in my crotch.

Black Kinski’s voice said, “Should make you suck your own lily-white dick, you little motherfucker.”

My body sprouted tendrils of raw flesh. Insects that looked like organic razorblades began to crawl out of my pores. I was on the verge of being hurled into unconsciousness but I fought it by thinking it might be a good thing for me to be able to suck my own dick.

I crawled over to Black Kinski who was now smoking a cigarette. Hadn’t I just shot him?

“Yeah, you shot me, motherfucker,” he said. “So what?”

The razorblade insects were covering the floor and walls now but he didn’t seem to notice or maybe he didn’t care. My body was continuing to change, becoming a warped version of a human being. “What now?” I said.

“Man, that’s the motherfuckin question of the year, of the decade. Hell, you’re the smartest man of your generation. Scummy white motherfucker.” Black Kinski held his cigarette out and let it go. The cigarette floated in the air, the flame turning from orange to silver. “You know, if you had just played it cool, man, you’d be okay. But you just wouldn’t go with the flow. You have to learn to go with the flow. Open your eyes and go with the flow. The flow.”

The cigarette disappeared and so did Black Kinski.

* * *

Little Joey Potter toyed with a small slug perched atop a dull silver bench in Central Park. He pressed the sharp end of a broken stick into the mollusk’s small body, nearly impaling it. He watched its body curl up in response to the pain. That made him smile.

When the day suddenly began to get hotter despite the weather forecast, Joey called out for his mother. His smile faded and his last thought was of his father, wherever he might be, and why he hadn’t come to save him. His body was soon reduced to atoms by an expanding silver-red light that soon engulfed the whole of Manhattan in its warm embrace.

A few seconds later, the Valdrott ships dropped like great silver marbles upon the ashes of the island, throwing up white plumes of dust.

PART THREE:

THE FINAL FUCKING BLAST

I. You are now entering Blue Milk, NYC

Earlier that morning, Sarah had decided a little leakage from her nipples wasn’t going to stop her from making some money. The perverts would probably love to see blue milk squirting out of her titties, anyway. Hell, they’d probably pay extra for it.

By ten in the morning, she was selling her ass right in front of the Times Square Theater. The usual crowd was there and that made Sarah comfortable despite her knowing she could be raped or killed at any point during her shift. It was a living, though.

One of the things she loved most about the area she worked was that most of the men who hired her took her into the theaters to do their business. That meant Sarah could make money giving head while also watching a movie out of the corner of her eye. If she could get away with it, Sarah would sometimes place her head on the guy’s stomach so she could watch as much of the film with two eyes as possible. If the movie was worthwhile, she’d stay to watch the rest of it after the pervert blew his load.

On this particular morning, Sarah was trying to catch the attention of a rich-looking white guy who seemed lost but in no big hurry to find his way. She took a step into his path and jiggled her chest. “You got time to party, hon?”

“What?” he said.

“I asked if you got time to party? You know, maybe catch a movie with me, know what I’m saying?”

The man looked down at her breasts and at the blue, milky stains that were leaking through her shirt. He said, “Uh, I don’t know. What movie?”

Sarah shook her head and laughed. “You don’t get it, hon. You just get off the boat or something? Or you just playing with me?’

“I don’t know what you mean.”

She was about to give up when she thought she saw a glimmer in his eye that told her he now understood he was being offered. So she said, “You want to play with me?”

The man lifted his head up from looking at Sarah’s breasts. “Yes. I think I do.”

Sarah looked at the theaters around and took him to the one showing The Body Beneath because she had heard that was a freaky one. They walked arm in arm into the theater and took their seats. Once the lights were dimmed and the movie was on, Sarah started to unzip the man’s pants.

He said, “Wait. What are you doing?”

“You wanted to party, didn’t you?” Sarah said.

“You’re unzipping my pants.”

“That’s usually how it starts, yeah.”

The man’s back stiffened as he sat up straight in his seat. He gently brushed Sarah’s hands away from his crotch. He said, “Can I see your pussy?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about?” She laughed. “Sure, honey, you can see my pussy.”

Sarah looked over her shoulder to make sure no cops or peeping toms were around to make trouble. Once it was clear, she hoisted her skirt up and pulled her stockings down. She leaned back. Then she threw one foot over the seat in front of her and the other over the man’s seat.

Her hairy gash was on display.

“This what you wanted to see?” Sarah said. Normally she didn’t like to fuck in the theaters. There was too much risk of having some gung-ho undercover cop bust her. Blowjobs were so much easier.

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