Juanna Artmane - Test-&-mend

– Aleykuma salam! – responded Abdul. Ignoring the expecting hand, Abdul hugged Ibrahim, patting on his shoulder approvingly: “How are the things with you?”

– I am all expectation, – Ibrahim grinned with delight, broadly revealing his yellow teeth of a tobaccosmoker. He was hinting at his marriage with Hannah. Then, turning to her, he nodded his head as a token of greeting. The latter did not look at him, intentionally avoiding any eye contact. The mere sight of this man turned her stomach, though he was supposed to become the father of her children. The man, at whose company she repelled, had something extremely repulsive in his gestures and manners. He was more like a predator than a human. «I would rather die than…» – she thought to herself. She stepped back, keeping as far as was politely possible and forced out: “Hello!”. To her relief, he carried his body further and joined other men.

All the guests had almost arrived by 5 p. m. and took their places at tables. Separately from others there was sitting Ali – brimming with the best mood since the day he was born. For him, this celebration was a farewell to this city, these people, this shell-like world! Receiving congratulations, he could not help looking down on them: “Small people with small wishes.”. This thought crossed his mind, whenever the guests approached him. Some of them were genuinely happy for him, others exhibited insincere gladness, but all of them were equally complimenting him on his resounding success.

The first sounds of traditional music came out from the band of musicians, who were blowing into their clarinets, standing in a line on the improvised “dancing floor”. Abdul welcomed the guests by inviting them to join his dance. According to the local tradition, the host should be the first to hit the floor and, approaching each table, to absorb guests in merry-making. After that, all felt free to eat, to drink or to shake a leg on their own will.

Meanwhile, women were serving the main course. They were running back and forth, devoid of a chance to take a breath or a glass of wine, though toasts were coming from different ends of the tables. Praises were told to Abdul for bringing up such a talented son and bottles of vintage were drunk in one go.

The celebration, which seemed a real nightmare to Hannah, lasted till dawn. The loud music coming from the clarions was muffled by deafening gurgling laughs and cluttering dishes. Several lord-drunk men struck the dance-poll, whistling, pulling themselves on sandy ground, raising dust. These men were Abdul’s colleagues. They were in similar positions at work and on the social ladder. They were so much-alike, that one would take them for relatives – rather than colleagues. Some kind of an indescribable expression bound them: they wore their heads slightly backwards, as if they were looking at the sky. This made their chins protrude in an arrogant way. Clinging to one another as a gang, they were dancing and indulging in cheerful pledges, keeping to that alternate pattern till the end of the bash.

Letting the dance floor to the drunken men, women flocked in several small colonies, gossiping and at times exchanging glances with the nearby bunches. Some of them were killing two birds with one stone: by pecking at the delicacies, stuffing their mouths with cakes and other eastern oily sweeties and by stuffing their ears with delightful descriptions of their companions’, who gave out all the slightest details of the well-known relatives. Every so often, they burst into laughter and trashed their thighs with greasy sticky hands. Then, not bothering much about hygiene, young mothers caught their popping in and out off-springs and fed them on some finger-smashed mixture of edible stuff. When the youngsters refused to stop or open their mouths, they were pinched ruthlessly, which only added shrieks to the cacophony around.

Hannah, on par with the rest, was rushing in and out of the kitchen: cleaning, arranging plates on the tables, and simultaneously trying to bypass those getting in her way. But there was one person she could not pass by anyhow – Ibrahim.

Hannah was standing at the sink, washing-up, fixed on the process and the sound of running water. Using the moment, he approached her noiselessly, so that she did not acknowledge this presence in the kitchen. He silently wrapped his hands around her waist from behind. The poignant scent of alcohol together with the acrid smell of sweat turned Hannah's stomach again. His huge beer gut was pressed against her fragile body. Breathing heavily, he turned her around and tried to kiss, but Hannah defended stoically by pushing him away: «You, drunkard, you… brute… lemme go! Or I will shout so loudly, that everyone will… mmmmm!..».

He covered her mouth with the right palm, squeezing her body and leaning on her. He was kissing her neck anxiously: «I am sick of waiting! You want this, don't you? You… you little cunt… You will obey me!».

Even being that drunk, he knew quite well, that he was risking: anyone could appear any moment at the door. After a while, he heard someone calling his name and this was Hannah’s salvation from the paws of the beast. Removing, he eased his tight grip, and let her fall down on the floor.

Pulling herself up and mastering her emotions, she got upright. For a moment the dimly lit kitchen felt like a deep well, where she sank hopelessly mumbling to herself: «I have a choice! Yes, I still have one!». The thought of «a deadly choice» never left her mind. Like a little bee in the bonnet, the idea of a suicide was buzzing in her head.

Any teenager in a seemingly blind-end situation, like Hannah’s, would turn to a suicidal thought. “What difference does it make”, – she would think to herself, – to live with the person you hate – and hate each day of your life – or just finish it?”. The answer was obvious. In the first case, you subject yourself to eternal suffering, whereas in the second – you end sufferings in eternity.

This hatred toward Ibrahim had a solid background. It was not because of his physical repulsiveness – far deeper! The grain of hatred was seeded, when she was six. Then Ibrahim used to live in the neighborhood and was a frequent guest at Abdul’s house. Actually, all Ibrahim’s family were welcomed whenever they wanted to entertain themselves in her parental mansion. Leila used to go extra length to support a good relationship with the future relatives. Being inattentive towards Hannah, she refused to notice, what was going on with her only daughter.

While Abdul was at work, Leila was keeping herself busy by meeting her friends at the expense of Hannah’s solitude. On one of such days, Ibrahim dropped in to see Ali who had left right before the former came. Only Hannah was there. Feeling free and pleased by such a chance, Ibrahim sat on the sofa, observing every move of the poor little girl. She was playing with her dolls, fully absorbed in her imaginary world. Then she looked at him, sitting in the opposite direction and watching her intently. Suddenly he asked: «Would you like me to show you a new game? I bet you don't know the way it is played!».

With her childish curiosity, Hannah got immediately interested in the game she had never played. She was told that it was a “secret game”. All she had to do was to keep silent. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards himself. Even now – eight years after the event – that heavy disgusting breath was fresh in her mind. He ran his hand over her legs. Then, raising her quickly, he made her sit on his lap in a way that her legs parted, baring her privates. He pressed her against his body and started rubbing violently. She didn't know what to do and begged him to let her go, as she did not like the game at all. He hushed her squeezing her mouth. The pain of rubbing caused nausea and Hannah was about to vomit when he abruptly stopped. He took her and threw onto the carpet. Hannah was in total confusion. Now a man of two meters height stood above her putting his finger to his mouth in a hushing gesture «Shhh!». Such incidents kept repeating from time to time, until Ibrahim’s family moved to a new house in the eastern part of the city.