Layne Hansen - Careful Measurements

“Yeah. It sounded interesting,” Patton said, yawning.

He wasn’t in the mood for conversation and luckily the barista moved away to serve another customer. It turned out that the new customer was the blond woman he’d been ogling. He felt a rush of blood in his cheeks and turned away, taking a sip of his drink. The woman was pretty at six in the morning with no makeup and wearing yoga pants and a fleece jacket. Her blue eyes simultaneously exuded confidence and intelligence. Their eyes met again and she gave him a beautiful, radiant smile. Yes, she was dressed down, but Patton could imagine how gorgeous she would be dressed up for an evening out.

“Hi,” she said a little shyly.

“Hi.”

“How’s the coffee?”

“Surprisingly good.”

“So you’re doing this crazy experiment huh?”

Patton suddenly felt like talking to someone.

“Yes. Didn’t really have anything else going on.”

She snorted a laugh and nearly choked on the coffee she’d just sipped. At first he was confused. He answered her honestly but then realized his answer must have sounded strange.

“I’m Jennifer,” she said, still laughing and wiping at her mouth with a napkin.

“Patton,” he replied, extending his hand.

She took it and shook it firmly. She had a strong grip.

“Patton as in General Patton?” she asked, her eyes wide and playful again.

“Yes, actually. My grandpa served under him. Grandpa was one of the few who actually liked him, I guess.”

The handshake continued and when Patton noticed it had gone on longer than normal he pulled his hand away. Their eyes were still locked, but she turned away shyly for a moment. He cleared his throat.

“Can you believe they’re kicking us off?”

She met his gaze again and smiled.

“I know, right? Jerks.”

She laughed and he smiled. The awkward silence returned—the kind that occurs when two people are clearly attracted to one another. She was nothing like his wife in appearance. His wife was shorter and stockier, although still athletically built. Jennifer was a few inches taller and built like a marathoner. Patton was taller than her, but not by much. She generally liked larger, more muscular men, but she could tell that he was in good shape. He also had flashes of grey over his temples, which let her know that he was at least her age, and possibly a little older.

“So what are you doing today?” she asked, her eyes shining.

He shrugged, hoping she would invite him to spend the day with her. “I dunno. Maybe do some shopping, maybe a little gambling. You?”

“Can I join you?” she asked, knowing he would say yes.

They went to their rooms and retrieved things they might need. They met back at the dining car and detrained together. As they stepped off, Jennifer took Patton’s arm. He looked at her in surprise. Their eyes met and he suddenly wanted to kiss her. He swallowed hard and turned away.

The early morning air was brisk. Frost covered the grass and there were iced-over puddles in the gutters and in potholes. They could see their breath in the air as they walked and talked.

“Nice morning,” Jennifer said, gazing up at the ragged line of the Sierra Mountains to the west. The sun was behind them and it cast a bright light onto the mountains’ face.

“Yeah,” Patton agreed. “You want to find a place for breakfast?”

She nodded and they continued walking towards the larger buildings. They meandered through the streets, making small talk and window-shopping. After a few blocks they found a small diner. They were seated and both ordered coffee and juice.

“What do you really think of this experiment?” Jennifer asked.

Patton paused, thinking. His opinion had changed from minute to minute and he was gauging how he currently felt.

“It’s kind of exciting and nerve racking all at once,” he answered finally.

She nodded in agreement and he continued.

“I mean, leaving your past behind. I can’t imagine that someone who was… normal … someone who felt like life was going well for them would come and do something like this.”

She looked at him skeptically and said, “I think maybe someone who is adventurous. Or maybe someone who felt like they’d accomplished all they could and wanted a challenge or something.”

Patton nodded and asked, “Does that describe you?”

“I guess you could say that,” she replied warmly. “I’ve been successful, but I’d like to think I can make a new start.”

Their waitress, a cute blonde with a bright smile and Eastern European accent, arrived at their table with menus. She took their orders then left.

Looking at her ring finger again, Patton asked, “So you’re not married?”

She fought the urge to say something sarcastic, but instead replied, “No. I’ve never been married. I was always too busy. What about you?”

Pain creased his face and she was instantly sorry for asking. She couldn’t blame herself, though. He’d brought up the topic.

“I was,” Patton said sullenly. “She died.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said with sad eyes and reached out to touch his hands.

“It was a car accident,” he said, taking a deep breath in an attempt to ward off the inevitable sting of tears. “Her and my three kids. She was pushed off the road by a semi-truck that didn’t see her. They crashed through the railing and…” he trailed off, not able to finish.

The vision of that day suddenly entered his mind. His returning home from work and her not being there. The highway patrolman pulling off his hat and not being able to speak. Him falling to his knees asking if any of them had survived and the patrolman telling him that no, they had all died. The emptiness of their home and his total loss of meaning. The alcohol, the suicide attempt, going into the hospital—it had all been too much in too short of a time. Tears stung his eyes and he wiped at them. When he continued it was with deep emotion.

“It’s been hard,” he said, realizing how stupid and simplistic that sounded. “I’ve made it through until now. I kind of see this whole thing as my last chance.” He looked away from her, embarrassed. She reached over and held on to his hands.

“I’m so sorry, Patton. I can’t begin to imagine. You’re strong for finding a way to carry on,” she said, tears rolling down her face. She patted his hands. He nodded and smiled weakly at her.

Patton appreciated her sincerity but he was done talking about it. Jennifer understood. She took in a deep breath and let it out loudly. She smiled at him and squeezed his hands before letting go. Luckily for them, their server arrived with their food.

The new friends finished breakfast and spent the rest of the day in town. They found a casino that was close to the train station and gambled for part of the day. Jennifer talked about finding a movie but nothing interested either of them. Eventually it was time for them to get back to the train. They agreed to meet at the dining car later that evening but both wanted to rest after their long day. The two parted awkwardly, not knowing whether to hug or kiss or just shake hands.

Jennifer pulled Patton in for a hug and kissed him on the cheek. When she pulled away Patton wanted to kiss her on the lips, but thought it could wait. He stood and watched as she walked away. Just as he’d hoped, she turned around to look at him. Their eyes met and they both smiled. She turned again and walked away. When she was out of sight, Patton turned and walked towards his own room. He didn’t stop smiling the entire way.

Patton was half asleep, listening to music and playing computer chess. The train had been moving again for an hour or so. The sun was bright and shining through his window. He heard someone talking loudly behind him and then felt someone sit next to him. He’d been enjoying the solitude and was annoyed to have an unwanted seatmate. Patton pretended not to notice the person and stared ahead, hoping he wouldn’t be dragged into a conversation.