Sergei Lukyanenko - The Genome

But Janet took up a cocktail glass herself.

The drink was excellent, though it had a slightly unusual taste—lemon and anise, with just a hint of mint and honey, very refreshing. And it was no stronger than forty proof. Little colored ice cubes, made with slightly magnetized water, swirled around gracefully in the tall glasses. They reminded Alex of his virtual image of the ship.

“Alcohol wonderfully!” the Zzzygou declared, having taken a few sips. “We did not know taking alcohol internally. We knew humanity was a great race for invented alcohol. But it is still hard for us to drink a lot.”

“Not to worry,” said C-the-Third, joining the conversation. “Humans also didn’t adapt right away to drinking alcohol. There was even a time when it used to cause unpleasant aftereffects. Some radical naturals, who totally reject any kind of genetic engineering, still have a natural limit to their alcohol intake…”

Alex, utterly confused at this point, sat watching what was going on around him. It was a nice friendly get-together, as though the passengers and the crew had been good friends for a long time. Janet was a wonderful hostess, making hot cheese sandwiches for the Zzygou and all manner of snacks for the crew, while also refilling everyone’s drinks and keeping up the conversation. Kim and the Zzygou sitting closest to her were discussing the cut of their suits and the peculiarities of fashion in the Zzygou Swarm. The Zzygou had already produced a portable computer, quite human in its design, and was showing Kim some pictures.

Only Generalov’s tone of voice, when he addressed himself to C-the-Third, had a hint of spiteful irony. But Alex wasn’t sure if he was just imagining it.

Trouble began a quarter of an hour later. And, of course, Janet was the one to start it. With a perfectly innocuous, or so it seemed, friendly phrase:

“It is wonderful that the Zzygou race became a human ally from the very first contact…”

The Zzygou who sat chatting with Kim had no reaction to this whatsoever. But her companion chirped happily:

“No! No from the very first contact! We were first deeply offend-ed by the Empire. Your appearance, your behavior, and your morals are all offen-sive! We prepare-ed for big war.”

“Really?” rejoined Janet in a honey-sweet mellow tone. “And I was sure that was all an Ebenian extremist lie…”

“We prepare-ed, prepare-ed!” the alien chirped on. “But later we rejecting all the violent ways. The human race will meet its own natural end. Humanity are way too aggres-sive to reject expansion. You are also too fond of biological modeling for preserve unity. When the Empire finally falls apart in hundreds of independent planets, it will be conquer-ed by other race-es. Then we take our slice of cake! A large, very large slice!”

The pealing laughter of the Zzygou sounded especially odd in the silence that abruptly froze the air in the recreation lounge. The Zzygou smiled for another second or two. Then her face went ashen. The other alien, who had been caught up in telling Kim all the super-secret details of the Great Zzygou sacred fertilization ritual, stopped in mid-sentence. Looked at her companion. Touched the panel of the portable computer, folding the image. Then quietly said:

“We ask forgiving.”

“We ask forgiving,” sang out the Zzygou who had been chatting with Janet. The alien’s face had lost all color.

“We overestimate-ed ability drinking ethanol,” sang the two Zzygou in complete unison. “We start-ed joking, but our joking are somewhat strange and offen-sive to humans. We ask forgiving, we ask forgiving…”

They got up and backed out of the recreation lounge.

“Everything’s all right, sisters.” The tone of C-the-Third’s voice gave away his deep doubt in what he was saying. “Happens to everyone. We understand jokes.”

“Of course we do!” agreed Janet, smiling brightly.

“Sey-Zo!” said Kim in surprise. “But why does the cut for the larvae-laying have to be triangular?”

The question was left hanging in the air—the Zzygou left the would-be wonderful party.

Lourier shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of wine. Said, not looking at anyone:

“A slice of cake, eh? Big enough to choke on…”

“Let’s not talk about this,” retorted C-the-Third. “Most likely, it was really just an unfortunate joke.”

“Yeah, right…” said Janet, still smiling, taking a sip of her cocktail. “They just honestly admitted their opinion about us humans.”

“Why?” the clone responded. “Forgive me, but that would be very odd. I think they were joking. I prefer to think it was a joke.”

“As you wish.” Janet got up. “Well, I better be off. Have some reading to do.”

Alex caught up with her at the door to her quarters. Took her arm to stop her.

“Janet…”

“Yes, Captain?” The black woman smiled.

“What did you mix into the Zzygou’s cocktails?”

“Captain, I simply made a drink for everyone. I added no chemicals at all.”

“Then let me ask you another way. Janet, what could have caused such frankness on the part of the aliens?”

The woman’s face turned thoughtful.

“Hard to say, Captain… Back on Eben, there was a rumor that the Zzygou race poorly handles the natural alkaloids in anise. It is reputed to have an un-inhibiting effect, similar to that of truth serum. The Zzygou apparently lose neither their sanity nor their will, but become capable of blurting out anything. Doesn’t that just sound like a ridiculous urban legend? Everyone knows Eben is populated entirely by psychos.”

“Janet…” said Alex, feeling her pain, “why do this?”

“To make you see who you’re dealing with,” replied Janet seriously. “Their adorable girl-child looks are just an evolutionary fluke, combined with the ability to change several outward appearance parameters. But they are not even mammals, Captain! They are warm-blooded insects!”

“That’s a crude analogy.”

“In any case, they are biologically much closer to beetles and roaches than to us.”

“Not so. They are just as far from humans as they are from earthly insects.”

“Those little bulges you see underneath their blouses, Captain, aren’t breasts, but a rudimentary third pair of limbs. They feed their young by regurgitating partially digested food.”

“Nevertheless, they have red blood and almost-human lungs and hearts…”

“Six-chambered hearts!”

“They couldn’t have two-chambered hearts?” Alex felt that Janet was about to escape into her cabin, so he talked faster:

“Let’s just drop this whole argument. The Zzygou are neither roaches, nor humans. They are alien beings from the Zzygou race. And no, they don’t feel any great attachment to us, but why would they? We are a young and energetic race, taking over one planet after another. Let them have their illusions, as long as there’s no war!”

“Agreed.” Janet nodded. “Let me go, Alex.”

“Don’t set up any more provocations like that, Janet. Please. We don’t need any scandals, or complaints to the management, or conflicts with the Zzygou and C-the-Third.”

“You’ve burned our ships, which wouldn’t dare open fire at humans. You’ve covered our planet with a power shield as if it were a leper colony. You’ve brainwashed those you left alive. And still it’s not enough for you. Now you’re kissing up to the Others. And they can’t wait to see us all enslaved!”

Janet freed her arm with a strong invisible movement. Alex thought of the full military training she had gone through on Eben.

“I didn’t burn any of your ships. I never messed with your mind, sister-spesh!”

“You are no better than those who did!”