Frank Klus - Azaleas Don't Bloom Here

“Everybody get that?” Dennis O’Reilly said. “All right then, let’s get that squad to the motel. I’ll go and see the Commandant now.”

“O’Reilly, what do you have for me?”

“Sir, I’ve found them.”

“Sit down, Dennis, and tell me everything.”

“Well, sir, it was your man, Nate Phillips, who gave us the break we were looking for. We know just where they are. We heard all their plans.”

“Great, Dennis. Now start from the beginning.”

“Well, it started with Horace Hayfield. He was caught trying to sneak across near the popular Oregon crossing. He was arrested and released by Phillips, who smelled real money. He knew Horace had a bunch, so he put on his act as the caring lawyer, sprung him, and then offered him a real—well, I should put real in quotes—chance to get out of the country, but it turned out Horace couldn’t get his money out.”

“I had DOJ freeze his accounts.”

“Right. Well, that wasn’t the end of it because he arranged to have Senator Moore released from the hospital and brought to Idaho to cross the border. But it turned out he had better contacts than he had money.”

“Wait! So Moore was never killed?”

“No. It was Phillips who put the word out that he was dead. The wounds were only superficial. He more or less fainted on the tarmac.”

Both laughed. “Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Casimir said.

“Phillips spread the word he was dead, because he smelled money—a lot of it. Anyway, he now had Moore, but it turned out Moore didn’t have a lot of money. Phillips gave his spiel about how he could get him out of the country, and that’s when he learned Pamela was nearby. Phillips was convinced that she and her charges had plenty of money. There was just one problem: she had ex-blues with her. Not just Ray and Cassandra, like we figured, but Armstrong, Foote, and Wrenn.”

“I was wondering why we hadn’t heard from them for months. Okay, so what happened next?”

“Phillips had Moore contact Pamela from his encrypted phone. The plan was for them to come to the Lazy Tourist motel in Martinville, Idaho. Phillips would meet them, collect a hundred grand, give them a phony escape plan, and then have them arrested.”

“So we knew where they were—at this Lazy something motel. Why didn’t we send someone there ourselves and pick them up?”

“Well, sir, this area wasn’t under our control. It was neutral territory and we’d pretty much need local cooperation, or have the local authorities pick them up. Phillips said he could save us the bribe money it would take to do this, and he’d pick them up for us after fleecing them. I gave him the okay and told him to keep us posted as to what was going on.”

“That’s taking a chance, Dennis. What if he betrayed us and let them through?”

“First, sir, without his cooperation we’d have a hard time picking them up. Phillips said he had some of his men keep an eye on the motel just in case we sent some of our men there. In the second place, we let him fleece them first in return for his cooperation. And in the third place—”

“In the third place I’d string him up by his nuts.”

“Yes sir. Then the plan went awry. The Blues figured out the scam. They threatened Phillips. Armstrong, Foote, and Wrenn came storming in and threatened him and his secretary if they weren’t given maps and the truth about the border crossing. They left with quite a few documents: maps, civil patrols, and everything they needed to develop their own plans. Phillips told me everything after they left, including how Joanne, the secretary, told him about the false border fence.”

“Then what happened? Did you send people over to the motel to pick them up?”

“I’m coming to that sir. When we had Moore, one of our engineers, working with a programmer, modified his phone. We worked out an alert system. Whenever a transmission begins, we’re alerted; and when we turn on the decryption machine, the call is decrypted, and we can listen in on the conversation, just as if the call was made to us. The only thing we can’t do is transmit. It is just a listening device.”

“You haven’t answered my question yet.”

“We were discussing how to approach the situation when the alert system sounded, sir. Pamela Piper called her brother in Sick America, using Moore’s phone. My team listened in on the conversation. They revealed their plans to Henry. Now, we can do two things. We can plan our raid better, knowing where they’d all be, and we can step up security on their escape route, just in case they get away again. Either way, we’ll have them tonight.”

“Keep me posted.”

The Pilgrims, as they began calling themselves, mostly went to their rooms. Chad stayed up, and after a while, decided to look in on each. He began with his own men, who continued to room together. Both were exercising and joking with each other. Wrenn was reciting a little ditty.

“The men were put on high alert

When Molly Brown hiked up her skirt.

With a wiggle of her hip and a laugh so hearty,

The men gathered close to her, ready to party.

When she bent over to show us her art

She wiggled her fanny and let out a fart.”

Chad knocked on the O’Reillys’ door and Ray answered. Cassandra was lying in bed, watching TV. “Hi, Cass.”

“Hi, Chad.”

Ray just gave him a big bear hug and told him to come in. “How’s it going, Ray?”

“All ready and rarin’ to go. How’s everybody else doing?”

“Well, I thought I’d start with your room. You’ve really done a fine job here, as you always did with the Blues.”

Cassandra got up now and came over to give Chad a hug. “Thanks for all your help, Chad. You came when we really needed you. I don’t think we’d have made it this far without you, Terry, and Jack. You guys are real pros.”

Chad smiled. “Now, we’ll see you at eleven. Goodnight guys.”

Armstrong then went to Pamela’s room.

“Come on in, Chad. I’ve just written my will. The manager’s a notary so I can make it official. I’m mailing it to my lawyer back in Detroit. If I don’t make it, he’ll execute it. I told him that if I make it I’ll find a way to communicate that to him.”

“We’ll make it. Just a few more hours and we’ll be gone from here, and all the troubles will be behind us.”

She gave him a hug. “Thank you for all your help, Chad.”

“See you in a few hours.”

Armstrong then went to Hayfield’s room. “Just checking in with you, Horace. You doing okay?”

“Sure, Mr. Armstrong. Come in. There’s somethin’ I want to tell y’all.”

Armstrong hesitated, but came in.

“I’m sorry I didn’t contribute to that fund the lawyer was collecting. The truth is I’m broke. I spent most of the money I had trying to get out of here, but I ran into the same scams you did. My account’s been frozen, I’m down to my last few hundred dollars, and I got a car I can’t seem to sell without attracting the wrong kind of people.”

Chad just listened.

“I know I won’t win any popularity contests around here. For what it’s worth, I wish I made better decisions. Please tell Gene I’m sorry. He has a right to be angry. He knows what that brain probe can do. I just wanted to help….” His voice trailed off.

“We’ll be on the other side in just a few hours. Things will look better then.”

“Thanks for your help, Mr. Armstrong. Once again, I’m sorry for creating so many problems for everyone.” He then tried to smile. “Like the anonymous quote, ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time.’”