Lachlan Walter - The Rain Never Came

The weight of the bumper and the roo settled. It didn’t seem too much to bear.

‘No worries.’

We moved awkwardly at first—I took it easy, Tobe strained at the bit. The need to walk faster—to be done with the road—was evident in his tight smile. We finally settled on a step that suited us both; I picked up my pace, Tobe slowed a little. The highway unrolled beneath us and the plains stayed the same, the burnt-out black of them featureless and flat. Occasionally, another burnt-out wreck appeared ahead. Something about the first one we approached caught my eye; as we drew closer, I saw the dead roo’s hide stretched across the bonnet. The wreck’s bumper was missing, and I looked at what I was carrying and couldn’t help but smile. We skirted around the wreck, once again choosing not to look inside.

Like all the others, it shrank into a shadowy nothing as our wandering resumed.

The highway showed us where we needed to go, all we had to do was put one foot in front of the other. The weight we carried, our ever-present thirst, the stink of raw meat, none of it mattered. The thud of our feet beat an unending tattoo. It went this way for hours.

That world of monotony and shadow seemed to smooth Tobe’s hard edge—a number of times I caught him smiling to himself, staring into the distance, lost somewhere far away.

Easy conversation began; reminiscences and shared memories, every other sentence starting with ‘Do you remember?’ or ‘Were you there when?’ or some such, most of the meaning unspoken, an old-mate code. After a time, we moved into speculation about what we might find when we were done, our cries of ‘I reckon…’ and ‘Bet your arse’ echoing through the night. We walked on and on, nothing seemed to change. It was a good walk—we were bedraggled brothers-in-arms, a beautifully familiar thing. It comforted me, dulling my nagging questions about Tobe’s latest weirdness.

We sometimes fell into silence, awed by the enormous, featureless land that surrounded us—it called out to us, daring us to stride into its maw.

At some point, I saw that the sky was growing brighter, the first trace of dawn rolling in. I knew it was only a tease, that the real thing was still a while away, that the moon hadn’t yet thrown in the towel. We kept on. The light steadily grew brighter, a glowing mix of pale oranges and pinks. The rising sun at our backs cast our shadows ahead of us. Sweat started to drip off me. The dead roo grew riper, attracting the first flies of the day. I waved them away as best I could. Tobe did the same.

It was a futile exercise.

Without missing a beat or dropping his end of the bumper, Tobe somehow rolled some bush tobacco, pulled out his Zippo, and lit up. He perched it in the crook of the roo’s leg and let it smoulder, grey smoke shrouding the carcass, sending some of the flies away.

I decided that I had had enough, and called a break.

We stopped, dropping the bumper and the roo on the blacktop. I didn’t care that we were in the middle of the highway, that there wasn’t any shade, that there wasn’t even a nearby wreck to cast a shadow for us to rest in. I needed a sit down and a smoke. Tobe turned to me, a look both sympathetic and scornful on his face. I didn’t care. The sun still hadn’t shown itself, but that hadn’t stopped the heat from building. I guzzled the last of a canteen. I lay down, shuffled my pack under my head. Tobe just watched me, saying nothing. After a moment, he loudly and deliberately stomped away to take a piss.

I lay there, the empty sky watching and mocking me. The sunlight grew brighter still, forcing me to close my eyes.

I’m drowning in sadness, sorrow and fear. It’s the air that I breathe, the building blocks of the world.

I realise where I am and start screaming.

Tobe and I, bare moments from the loss of innocence, stand outside the barn, bathed in moonlight. I hold a lantern aloft. I usher him in. We walk through the heavy wooden doors and are struck dumb, horrified. Somehow, we get it together and gather the tools we need. I watch myself from afar, unable to look away, grotesquely transfixed by the knowledge of what’s to come.

We start to cut them down.

I’m crying. So is Tobe. And then a voice screams. It’s her voice, wailing, unhinged. It disappears suddenly. Tobe follows it into the night. I chase after them. I catch up to Tobe, tackle him to the ground. He beats me down, keeps running. He cries out, calling her name. I can’t catch up. I fall behind, staggering around, lost in the dark.

And then a light broke the night, a light that wasn’t there back when it all happened. It grew rapidly, washing out memories best forgotten. I struggled, kicked against my terror. The brilliant glow burnt brighter, burnt everything away.

I reached out blindly, and came to a dead stop as something pushed against my throat.

‘Bill, mate, take it easy, all right?’ Tobe said, his voice soft.

I opened my eyes. Whatever was at my throat increased its pressure.

‘If I were you, I’d stay right there.’

He was a black silhouette, the sun casting him in a halo of golden light. I looked to my left. A young girl squatted next to me—filthy, wretched, hair dreadlocked with dirt, skin burnt dark-brown and grey with ash, dressed in literal rags. It was impossible to tell how old she was. Young, I guessed, considering her small frame, considering the coltish curve of her arms and legs.

‘What did I miss?’ I asked.

The pressure at my throat increased again as the girl twisted a broken branch she held in front of her. I couldn’t help notice that a flat stone about eight inches long was bound to one end of the branch and was poking through my beard, scraping against my skin.

‘Tobe!’ I called in a voice that shook.

The girl dragged the stone harder against my throat. I felt blood dribble down my chest, though I hadn’t felt the cut. The stone must have been sharp enough to shave baby fuzz.

‘Now, why would you want to do something like that?’

I kept as still as I could, didn’t even move when a couple of flies started crawling on my face. Tobe shifted slightly, revealing himself. He had his rifle against his shoulder, the end of the barrel disappearing into the girl’s filthy hair. I wondered how long I had been asleep, how long the two of them had been locked in their standoff. Red and Blue lay behind Tobe, whining pitifully. The girl’s eyes flicked to them, flicked back to me. Apart from that she hadn’t moved yet, she might as well have been carved from stone.

Tobe shook a cramp from his leg, but didn’t turn away. Stiff with shock, I just lay there.

What else could I do?

‘You know that if he gets hurt, you get hurt,’ Tobe said to the girl.

No reply. I looked at him, then over at her. A tickle started to build in my throat, my mouth as dry as the earth around me. I had no idea how long I had been lying asleep and roasting in the heat, but I felt like I could crumble away to dust.

‘Water,’ I croaked, unable to help myself.

The stone drew another dribble of blood. Tobe twisted the barrel into the girl’s hair. She didn’t seem to notice.

‘For fuck’s sake, give me some water or kill me now.’

Tobe unexpectedly lowered his rifle, slung it over his shoulder, turned away, started rooting through his pack. The girl kept staring at me, seemingly unaware that she no longer had a gun to her head.

‘You beauty.’

Tobe turned back, a full canteen in each hand, a smile on his face. He opened one of the canteens, started drinking. He did it with great fanfare, slurping at the water, sloshing it around in his mouth, sucking it through his teeth. He tipped his head back, opened his mouth wide, gargled loudly, spat the whole lot out. The girl’s eyes flicked away again, settled back on mine. Tobe sighed and threw the open canteen into the air. It landed next to the girl; her eyes flicked away a third time, fixed on the canteen. Water dribbled out, cutting a tiny muddy path through the dust. More quickly than I thought possible, she dropped the branch, scooped up the canteen, and sucked at it greedily.