Mike Mullin - Ashen Winter

I tried on everything when we were done, posing in front of a full-length mirror in Rita Mae’s bedroom. I looked completely ridiculous, like a survivor of an explosion at a sheet-making factory. Still, the strips of fabric hid most of the bright colors of my clothing and pack. It wasn’t like I was a contestant in some postapocalyptic fashion show. It’d do.

By the time we finished, we were working by lamplight. I still wanted to leave but knew Rita Mae was right about waiting for daylight. I might get lost wandering around in the black, postvolcanic night and never get close to wherever Darla was.

We put away the sewing supplies and started dinner. I tore up dandelion leaves for a salad, while Rita Mae fried cornpone pancakes in soybean oil. The aroma of cooking brought my hunger back powerfully, despite the huge lunch I’d eaten. I ate everything, fueling my body for the coming fight. After dinner, Rita Mae made up a bed for me in the living room near the fire and said goodnight. I lay awake for a while, knowing I needed to sleep but unable to shut off my mind. Unable to stop thinking about Darla.

When I awoke, Rita Mae was already up. The dim yellow-gray light in the eastern windows told me it wasn’t much past dawn. We had leftover corn pone pancakes for breakfast-Rita Mae ate just one, but I wolfed six of them. I would need the energy.

I double-checked my gear and finished packing. “You sure you want to head out there?” Rita Mae asked as I worked. “Seems like a good way to get killed.”

“Yes,” I said and then hesitated. Was I answering yes, I wanted to go, or yes, it was a good way to get killed? Both, I decided. “If Darla’s alive, she needs me. If she’s dead, I need to know.”

Rita Mae nodded and gently took hold of my left arm.

“And if I get killed. .” I shrugged, “at least I’ll have died trying to help the girl I love.”

Rita Mae pulled me into a hug. “Guess I’ll see you as far as the gate.”

I had to keep my pace slow to match Rita Mae’s, but I didn’t mind. I’d spent enough time with her last year and again over the last twenty-four hours that she was familiar and comfortable. I didn’t even feel the need to speak as we walked toward the south gate.

Walking with Rita Mae brought my mother back to mind. I couldn’t remember ever just walking with Mom in comfortable silence like this. Sure, I usually hadn’t said much when we were together. But Mom always kept up a steady stream of chatter: plans, information, and admonitions that I got remarkably good at tuning out. I took Rita Mae’s hand and squeezed it once before letting it drop. She looked at me and smiled, maintaining the easy and precious silence between us.

Perhaps I thought of my mom because it was too terrifying to think about Darla-that she might be dead or worse. Still, I had to focus. Darla first. If I survived looking for her, then I’d resume the search for my parents.

We reached Worthington’s south gate, the one I’d entered through the day before. Two guards sat on stools beside it, four more arrayed at the top of the nearby walls. All of them were armed with rifles.

“Open up,” Rita Mae called. “Crazy boy wants to leave our fine upstanding town.”

One of the guards stood up. “No can do, Miz Rita.”

“What do you mean?” Rita Mae said. “Lift the bar and pull that gate open. That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?”

“Can’t do that. Mayor says he’s got to stay inside the city walls.”

I strode toward the gate, figuring I’d just climb over it. One of the guards sidestepped, putting himself in my path. I butted chests with him-the top of my head barely reached his neck.

“What right do you have to keep him here? Get out of his way and open the gate this instant, Roger Thornton!”

“Orders are orders,” he replied. “I can open the gate and let you out, Miz Rita. Heck, with how much you fuss with the mayor, I might not be allowed to let you back in. But if he tries to leave, I’ve got to stop him.”

“We’ll just see about that,” Rita Mae muttered. She yanked on my right arm, clearly forgetting about the gunshot wound.

“Easy. That hurts,” I hissed under my breath.

“Sorry. Let’s go talk some sense into Kenda.”

The leisurely pace Rita Mae had set in reaching the gate was now replaced with a walk so brisk I had to jog to keep up, the pack thumping rhythmically against my back. We crashed through the reception room at City Hall and barged into the mayor’s office without knocking.

“What is this nonsense about imprisoning this young fellow who’s done us no harm?” Rita Mae yelled. “In fact, he’s done us considerable good by bringing those kale seeds.”

“Rita Mae, he’s just a kid,” Mayor Kenda replied.

“I’m sixteen,” I said.

“Exactly. How can I in good conscience let you go wandering around in that mess outside? You’re going to get killed.”

“How can you in good conscience keep him locked inside the city?” Rita Mae retorted. “How are we any better than those FEMA goons locking people into their refugee camps, if we do the same thing?”

“He’s a child, Rita Mae,” Kenda yelled. “Without children we don’t have any future.”

“Without freedom,” Rita Mae yelled back, “why would we want a future?”

“Look,” I said, trying to alleviate the shouting match, “can we-”

“Come on.” Rita Mae grabbed my arm and towed me out of the mayor’s office. She slammed the door so hard the whole wall shook.

She led me back to her house, muttering all the way about “damn bureaucrats” and “interfering do-gooders.”

“I’ve got to get out of here.”

“I know. I’m making a plan.”

“What?” I asked as we stepped into her living room. I hoped it was a good plan-I didn’t really relish a sixteen-foot drop off the outside of the icy wall.

“Never mind that. Help me untie this clothesline.”

A nylon rope was tied just above head height in Rita Mae’s living room, zigzagging five or six times in front of the fire. Rita Mae started taking clothespins off the line while I struggled with the knots. “You know, I have rope in my pack.”

“You might need that later. Best we use mine for this.”

“Won’t the guards see us? I don’t want to wait ’til dark.”

“You let me worry about that.”

I shrugged and got back to work on the knots. When we finished, we had a coil of good nylon rope about fifty feet long. Rita Mae led me out of the house and to the southeast corner of town, out of sight of the south gate.

The ice wall ran right through the backyard of a one-story house. A path led to a staircase carved on the inside of the wall. Not far from the staircase a man lay atop the wall, scanning the horizon through his rifle sight.

Rita Mae pushed through the deep snow near the base of the staircase, whispering, “It was here somewhere. I know it was.” After a minute or two of that, she gestured for me to join her and started digging in the snow. I helped her uncover a hidden tree stump. Rita Mae tied one end of her rope around the stump and tugged hard on it, making sure it was secure.

“Now, when the time is right,” she whispered, “you run up those steps and use the rope to lower yourself down the far side of the ice wall.”

“But the guard-”

“I’ll handle him. Now get your skis and poles secure in one arm so you can manage the rope with the other. And Alex. .”

I paused in my preparations. “Yeah?”

“Take care of yourself.” Rita Mae pulled me into a hug.

I nodded, but the lump in my throat prevented me from saying anything. I fought down sudden tears.

The guard still hadn’t noticed us-his attention was focused completely on the world outside the ice wall. Rita Mae released me and tiptoed up the steps. When she reached the top of the wall, she took a step toward him, and he startled, swinging toward her, his rifle at the ready.