S. Bodeen - The Fallout

Dad slowly tilted his head to one side, then the other, with a slight crack . “Really, Eli? She didn’t mean anything? She was questioning me, wasn’t she?”

Lexie slid out of her chair and came around to stand behind our chairs, putting Eddy and me between her and Dad. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I reached up to grasp it. I said, “She’s just saying that she doesn’t want to stay here forever. None of us do.”

“IT’S NOT YOUR CHOICE!”

The three of us jumped.

I swallowed. We had to get him calmed down. If we didn’t, he might not let even one of us leave. And for my plan to work—my loose, probably lousy plan—I needed that plane fueled and ready, with Tony in the cockpit ready to fly.

“Dad,” I said. “Remember you talked about adjusting to things slowly?”

He glared at me, but didn’t say anything.

I continued, “You need to give us time. Just to… get used to the idea. This place is beautiful and I know we’ll all be happy here.” Eddy’s hand tightened on my arm as Lexie’s hand squeezed mine. Let me work here , I wanted to tell them. I kept going. “You are already used to the idea, you’ve been living here. You need to know we’ll all need some time. It’s another new home for us, and the moving is hard.”

Dad let out a sigh and his eyes softened. “I just want things to happen now. I’ve been without you for so long. I want us to be a family again.”

I had to make him believe we were on board. So I nodded. “We all want that. Right?” I widened my eyes at Eddy and, since Lexie was still standing behind me, I squeezed her hand.

“Yeah,” said Eddy, probably too forcefully, but Dad didn’t seem to notice.

Lexie’s voice wobbled as she added, “I want us all together, too.”

Dad smiled as he looked at each one of us. He rubbed his hands together. “Well, then that’s settled. Tomorrow we’ll send Eli to get the rest of the family.”

The steak I’d eaten threatened to come back up as I stood and walked over to my father. “I can’t wait for our family to be whole again.” Then I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him.

When I stood back up, a man with a dark crew cut, wearing an aloha shirt and khakis, was holding a pitcher of ice water. He filled our glasses and left.

Lexie asked, “Who was that?”

“Gerard.” Dad cut into his replacement cake. “One of the staff.” He took a bite of cake. “He’d retired from one of my favorite restaurants in Seattle a few years ago.” He swallowed and bit off another piece. “He was very happy to get out of the rain. And the retirement home.”

Lexie looked at me and I glanced at Eddy. The look on his face proved that he was definitely as ready to get out of here as I was.

When dinner finally ended, and we’d played several hands of cards, Dad yawned and headed up to bed. Eddy, Lexie, and I all went to our separate bedrooms. After an hour, when I was sure Dad would be asleep, I knocked on their doors and they followed me back to my room. The three of us sat on my bed.

Lexie asked me, “What’s going on?”

Eddy said, “He’s got a plan.”

“Will it work?” asked Lexie.

“No clue. But it’s all we’ve got.” I sighed. “Tony… Phil, I mean, is planning on flying me out of here in the morning. But plan on him flying all of us out of here.”

“I can’t believe he is Phil,” Lexie said. “I feel so stupid.”

Eddy said, “I’m the one who should feel stupid. I brought him into our lives.”

“It was planned,” I said. “He would have found a way in.”

Eddy said, “Yeah, maybe. I just felt so comfortable the first time I met Tony, like I already knew him.”

“Because you did already know him,” I said.

Eddy made a face.

Lexie perked up. “How are you going to get him to help us?”

“Even though he’s a teenager now, I don’t think Phil has changed that much, when it comes right down to it. And that’s what I’m counting on.” I didn’t want to explain further. My plan hinged on nothing more than a couple of hunches, and if my gut instincts failed me… “I need you guys to go down to breakfast tomorrow like everything is normal.”

Lexie sighed. “Right.”

I set a hand on hers. “You have to do this.”

She nodded.

Eddy asked, “What else?”

I rubbed my chin for a moment. “I wish we had cell phones or some way to communicate.” I sighed. “We just have to time it right. I will leave during breakfast, say I want to go for a run before the flight. You guys need to keep Dad busy. Keep him here. And keep him happy.”

Eddy asked, “Shouldn’t we be at the jet?”

I shook my head.

Lexie broke in, “But I thought we were all—”

I held up my hand. “I won’t leave without you. But you need to keep him here as long as you can. I’ll come back for you. I promise. Okay?”

They looked at each other and nodded.

Eddy yawned. “I’m going to bed.” He stuck his hand out. I put mine on top, and Lexie set hers on mine. No one said anything, just let them stay like that for a moment, before Eddy pulled his back and Lexie and I did the same.

Eddy left, but Lexie lingered by the door. She turned back to me. “I asked Dad. About my birth mother.”

“And?”

She lifted and lowered a shoulder. “He said they took babies from everywhere, that all the babies got a fresh start no matter where they were from.”

“Was that it?”

She shook her head. “He said he never wanted to know about any baby’s background, and he never asked the people that ran the home. He also said he had never planned to adopt anyone. But Mom fell in love with me and wouldn’t stop pestering him until he gave in.” She smiled. “He said they both fell in love with me and couldn’t imagine life without me.”

I said, “There you go. You have your answer.”

She frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

I looked down at the floor. “You have your answer. That’s what I meant.”

She came over and sat beside me. “What’s wrong?”

“You know that you don’t… that you aren’t…” I sighed. “You know that you aren’t your birth mother’s child. I mean, she didn’t raise you, she didn’t affect your upbringing in any way.”

Lexie nodded. “Yeah. That’s a good thing. To know I’m not a monster.”

I met her eyes. “But I was raised by mine.”

“By your what?”

“Dad is…” I swallowed. “He’s not right. And I’m his son. Eddy only had nine years, but I had my entire life to be affected… molded by his thinking.” I shrugged. “What if I’m like him?”

Lexie put an arm around my shoulders. “You’re not.”

“But what if I am?”

She shook her head. “If you were like him, you would leave tomorrow. You would leave us here.” That sentence hung in the air for a moment. “But I know you won’t.”

I hoped she was right.

She asked, “Eli, if we do leave here tomorrow… will we ever see Dad again?”

If we left, would I ever want to see him again?

The answer to both questions was the same. “I don’t know.”

That night, with all the thoughts racing through my head, I was barely able to get any sleep. When the bedside clock said seven, I got up. I threw on some running shorts and a T-shirt and dug in the closet for socks and shoes. I opened the drawer of the desk and took out a pen, which I put in my pocket. Then I went down to breakfast.

As planned, Eddy and Lexie were there, plates of eggs and sausage in front of them, pitchers of juice and milk on the table. Dad was nowhere in sight. “Where is he?” I asked.