S. Bodeen - The Fallout

The difference was that Lexie had the comfort of knowing she had not been raised by her biological monster, that our mother had been nothing like that.

But everything I was—everything I knew—had been affected, cultivated, bred by my monster. Nature and nurture. There was no escaping that fact. Which meant the only chance for me was to escape him.

I asked, “What time do we leave tomorrow?”

“Long flight. Would rather get an early start.” Tony glanced at his watch. “About eight?” His eyes were wary. “Listen, whatever you’re planning, I can’t help you—”

“I know.”

He watched me for a moment. “So you’ll be ready to leave at eight?”

“Yes.” And then I added, “You’d better have the jet ready to go.”

So I would be flying out the next day. Without Lexie and Eddy. I would be the one sent to bring back the whole family. But I would never do it. I would never allow Mom and the others to get on a plane and come and be prisoners again. But the only way to prevent that would be to get Eddy and Lexie on the plane with me.

Back at the house, Eddy, Lexie, and our father were seated at the table. They had all showered and changed as well. Eddy wore board shorts and a T-shirt, while Lexie wore a flowered dress.

“Sorry,” I said. “I wanted a walk on the beach before dinner.”

Dad smiled. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

I answered honestly. “Most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen in my life.” I slid into a chair next to Eddy and he handed me a plate with rib eye steaks on it. I stabbed one with my fork and set it on my plate, then passed them on to my father.

He took one and set the plate down. “I thought we could all walk the beach after dinner.”

I dished up some salad and asparagus, then started eating. I was starving and had eaten half my plate before I set my fork down. “So are we leaving tomorrow?”

Dad paused, his fork in midair. “I’ll make sure the jet is ready.”

Eddy said, “But we just got here.”

“Yeah,” added Lexie. “I wanted some time on the beach.”

Dad smiled. “You two are staying. Eli will go back and get the rest of the family.”

Eddy sat up. “They’re all coming?”

“Everyone will be together?” Lexie asked. She glanced at me. “Mom is on board for a vacation?”

“It’s not a vacation.” I turned to my father. “Isn’t that right, Dad?”

He looked slightly uncomfortable before catching himself and putting a smile on his face. “We all belong together, and this is the most beautiful place I could find.”

How was I going to convince Eddy that he and Lexie needed to be on the plane with me? He was so happy; he’d just gotten his father back, and the island was paradise.

The rest of dinner was small talk, and then Dad stood up. “Should we take that walk now?”

We all went out on the beach, Lexie in front, then me, then Eddy and Dad, all of us walking on the wet, hard-packed sand, leaving footprints that washed away as soon as each wave came in. Behind me, Eddy told Dad, with a slight wobble in his voice, “It is so wonderful to be back with you.”

Dad put his arm around Eddy’s shoulder. “I missed you, son. Leaving you out of the Compound was the hardest part of the whole thing.”

Did he say leaving him out ? I forced myself to keep walking, pretend I wasn’t listening.

Dad continued, “But one of us had to stay in the real world, keep the name going. Otherwise YK might have been broken up, gone downhill.”

I whipped around, standing in their path and forcing them to stop. “You’re a liar.”

Dad’s lips trembled for a moment before he forced them into a smile. “It’s been a long time, Eli. It’s probably hard for you to remember.”

I shook my head. “No, I remember it like it was yesterday. And it was not part of your plan to leave him out!”

Eddy said, “Dude, just chill. You were a little kid and—”

“No!” I shouted. “I remember it like it was yesterday because I thought about it every frickin’ day for six years! Dad didn’t plan it! He was shocked when he closed the door and you weren’t there. I remember!”

Dad said, “Son, you may not have known it at the time, but leaving Eddy out was definitely prearranged.”

“No, it wasn’t!” I screamed at him.

Dad looked as if I’d hit him.

Eddy turned from Dad to me, and then asked, “How are you so sure?”

I stood there, trying to catch my breath. My heart pounded and my face burned. “I know, because…”

Lexie came up beside me and put a hand on my arm. She knew my secret. I’d told her and Mom in the Compound when we thought Dad was dying. She said, “Tell them.”

I looked at Eddy. “It was my fault. I did it. I was the reason you were left out.”

Visions of that night, the night of our ninth birthday, all came back to me.

Our ninth birthday. We were excited to be almost in double digits. The annual big party was held the day before, so we could head to the cabin on the actual day. Dad’s acreage in eastern Washington was huge, with a ten-room log house we called the cabin. We had an RV, too, which we used to drive farther into the wilderness to go camping. Not that an RV was roughing it, but that’s what we called camping anyway.

Gram came with us, sort of. She followed the RV with the Range Rover. She said she always liked to be prepared for emergencies. Although to her, an emergency might constitute running out of marshmallows for the s’mores we made over the campfire. A trip in the RV wasn’t a trip without Gram driving back to the cabin at least once.

As we drove along, Dad told us he had a big surprise for us. And he did. He’d just bought a new two-seater airplane. It went along with the new landing strip in the middle of the property, which is where we went with the RV. It was already dusk when we reached the site, so Dad promised we’d go flying first thing in the morning. We’d flip a coin to see which birthday boy would go first. Of course, I wanted it to be me.

We were getting ready for bed when Eddy started wheezing. Dad discovered a kitten in the RV. Terese admitted to finding it at the cabin, then smuggling it onto the RV. She started to cry and apologized to Eddy. She said she just wanted to make sure the kitten had a home.

The RV medicine cabinet always had some antihistamine for Eddy, but Mom came back empty-handed. “We better go get some at the cabin.”

Gram volunteered.

Eddy said he felt better. Gram insisted. “Just let me tuck Terese in. I’ll take the kitten back to the cabin and get it set up in the garage.”

Eddy and I crawled into bed. The airplane ride was still on my mind. “Hey, Eddy. I heard Dad and Gram talking. They said they have another surprise back at the cabin for us. What do you think it is?”

Eddy’s eyes widened. He loved surprises.

“Guess we’ll have to wait for tomorrow.” I rolled over and shut my eyes. I counted on the fact that Eddy also loved a mission.

“Eli? I’ve got an idea.”

“What?” I tried to stop them, but the corners of my mouth wanted to go up.

“I could hop in the back of the Range Rover and go with Gram. I could find out what it is.”

I sat up. “That’s a great idea. But you have to go now, while she’s with Terese.”

Eddy opened the window and dropped to the ground. I lay back, grinning. I knew once Eddy was in the Range Rover with the kitten, he would start wheezing. And Gram would keep driving to the cabin; insist on staying there overnight. I would be the only birthday boy around in the morning when it was time to ride in Dad’s new plane.

The rest I didn’t plan on: waking up to shouts, the RV moving wildly from side to side, falling out of bed. Then the darkness, running blind outside, Dad’s shouts telling us which way to turn…