S. Bodeen - The Fallout

And then we were in the Compound. The silver door had shut and locked, not to be reopened for twenty years. And I had called for Eddy, even though I knew he wasn’t there.

My lie had caused him to be left outside. And at that moment, and for six years after, I’d believed he was dead. Just as I believed my lie had killed him.

Eddy stood there, mouth slack, thick creases in his forehead. “How could you do that?”

“I was nine years old.” He was missing the point. “I felt guilty all those years.” I pointed at Dad. “Because he let me believe all those years that you were dead!”

Eddy’s gaze moved slowly to our father, who was staring out at the water, and the sun that was slowly sinking. His face was entirely relaxed.

“Dad,” I said. “Is this it? You don’t want to explain any of it to him?” My hope was that Eddy would realize how messed up Dad was. That he wouldn’t want anything to do with him, and he would fight to get us off the island.

But Eddy turned to me. “Why are you doing this?”

I froze. “Doing what?”

Eddy shook his head. “You’re grasping. Somehow you’ve built this all up in your head, that Dad is evil.” He looked at Dad, who had turned to listen to him. Eddy continued, “But it was just a plan. Dad had a plan and now you’re all back and everyone’s fine.”

Lexie scowled. “Eddy, seriously. You think we made it all up?”

And I realized that we had left out all the bad parts about the Compound. We’d made it sound like we were fine there. Because it wouldn’t have done him or Gram any good to know the whole truth. So there was a lot that Eddy didn’t know. And maybe it was time he did.

I turned to Dad. “Are you going to tell him about the yellow room or should I?”

“No.” Lexie pulled on my sleeve. “Eli, don’t.”

Dad ignored me and started walking again.

“Stop!” I yelled. “Tell him! Tell him the frickin’ truth!”

Eddy grabbed the collar of my T-shirt and bunched it up in his hand, pulling me toward him. “That’s enough. I get it. You felt guilty about what you did. But don’t start blaming it all on Dad.”

And suddenly I had Eddy’s neck in my grasp and I pushed him backward into the sand. We rolled a few times, then I pinned him to the beach. Lexie had her arm around my neck and was trying to pull me back, while Dad had turned around to watch, an amused expression on his face.

“You need to listen!” I yelled at Eddy. “You need to understand! Don’t you get it? He messed up the food supply! He tried to push us to the edge. He wanted to see what we would do to survive.” I looked up at Dad. “Tell him about the yellow room. Tell him.”

Dad didn’t say anything, just crossed his arms.

Eddy tried to shove me off him, and I slipped, so suddenly he had the upper hand and had rolled me over, so he was sitting on me. I was pinned, but it didn’t matter. I felt hot tears well up in my eyes as I yelled, “Tell him about the yellow room!”

Eddy leaned down, almost to my face. “What! What was in the yellow room?”

His knee was in my chest and it was hard to get a full breath.

Lexie said, “Don’t, Eli! Don’t!”

I squeezed my eyes shut but tears still managed to leak out. “The Supplements.”

Lexie turned away.

Eddy frowned. “I don’t know what that means.”

My breathing was even more constricted, and I fought to get free, but he shoved me back. So I gave up and lay there. “Do you really want to know?”

Eddy nodded.

“The Supplements. Lucas. Quinn. Cara. What Finn would have been.”

Eddy looked confused, and started to say something, then he stopped. Realization spread across his face and his mouth fell open. He looked over at our father. “What is he saying?”

Dad said nothing. So I did. “They were going to supplement our food supply when it ran out.”

“Oh, my God.” Eddy got off me and fell face forward into the sand as he tried to get up. When he finally got to his feet, he started walking backward, his horrified gaze going between me and Dad. Finally, he turned and ran up the beach.

I got to my feet and went after him.

Eddy was fast, but I was the runner, and I soon caught up to him. I ran behind him until his legs gave out, then he dropped to his knees and covered his face with his hands. I dodged to the side, then stopped, and turned to face him. “I’m sorry. I never wanted you to find out.”

Eddy lowered his hands. His cheeks were tear streaked and he blinked back more. “I should have been there. I should have been there.”

I sank to my knees in front of him. “No.”

“Maybe I could have done something.” He slapped a hand into the sand. “I feel so guilty that you all went through it and I didn’t do anything!”

“You did,” I said.

He just looked at me.

I nodded. “I missed you so much. And I felt so guilty for what I’d done. And it was that, the guilt and your absence, which sent me into your room. That’s how I found the laptop, and eventually found the wireless signal.”

Eddy said, “But I feel terrible I wasn’t there! I feel so guilty that I didn’t suffer like you all did!”

I grabbed both of his arms. “Don’t you get it? If you had been there, we would still be there. I wouldn’t have found the wireless, wouldn’t have discovered Dad was lying to us, and we would still be there, thinking the rest of the world had perished.”

Eddy looked off into the distance for a moment, maybe digesting it all. “But we would have all been together.”

I didn’t say anything. He needed to figure it out for himself.

His voice was almost a whisper. “But it wouldn’t have been enough. To be together. Would it?”

I slowly shook my head. “We would still have been Dad’s prisoners. Living a lie. Which isn’t living. Trust me.”

Eddy looked back down the beach, where Dad and Lexie stood about fifty yards apart. “He’s doing it again. He’s going to get us all here and do it again.”

I nodded. “He told me about this place when we were still down there. That is what he planned to do as soon as we got out, bring us here. But I thought he was dead. So I never even considered…”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for not… listening to you.”

I shrugged. “Not the first time.”

“So what do we do? How do we get out of here?”

I said, “I think I have a plan.”

After I told Eddy my plan, we walked back to Lexie and Dad. Eddy smiled. “Sorry. We just had to get all that out. We’re good.”

Lexie scowled at us, but I tried to give her a look to say I’d explain it to her later.

I asked, “So, is there dessert?”

Back at Dad’s house, all the dinner dishes had been cleared and the table was reset with dessert plates and forks, and a cake with white frosting and coconut sat in the middle of the table. I dished up slices and passed them around, trying to look much more cheerful than I felt.

We started to eat. Eddy said, “I could get used to this.”

Dad said, “You’ll all have plenty of time for that.”

Lexie finished chewing. “Dad? We’re going home to Seattle, aren’t we?” Her gaze darted to me and then back to Dad. “I don’t want to stay here forever.”

Dad shut his eyes. He put a hand on each temple and rubbed. “When will you three get it through your heads that”—suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he pounded both fists on the table, hurtling his plate through the air and onto the floor, where it smashed, cake skidding everywhere—“I am your FATHER AND I KNOW BEST!”

Lexie shrunk back from the table as Eddy grabbed my arm.

My throat tightened. “Dad. She didn’t mean anything.”