S. Welles - To Ocean's End

Mido nodded, then put his fork down and held out a hand for her on the table. She took it in both hands. He gave her a gentle squeeze. “But…?”

Jessie sighed in resignation. “I don’t feel like I belong on the ship. How could I?”

“Dyne’s giving you a chance with the bodyguard job.”

“I feel like that’s a bit of a stretch.”

“Why?”

“I feel like my female presence disrupts the natural order of things on the ship. It’s nothing sexist, nor does it have anything to do with my history. Now that I’ve had time to think about things, I believe he’s just acting in his own interest.”

“You don’t want the job?” There was disappointment in his eyes.

“It’s not that. I don’t see how I’m needed. You’re all bigger and stronger than me.”

“But you pack quite the wallop.”

“I know, but I just don’t feel like a permanent fit on the ship.”

“It is strange to have a woman aboard our ship, but it’s not like we can’t get used to it.” Jessie opened her mouth to protest but Mido said, “I won’t press you to stay if you don’t see yourself ever getting comfortable. But what about Captain and his curse?”

Jessie rubbed his hand with her thumbs. “I still feel the same, even though none of you agree with me.”

“You won’t help him?”

“After all I’ve seen and heard, I do want to, but I don’t think the benefits outweigh the risks.”

“The dying will stop if you succeed. I think it’s an even gamble.”

He was right but she didn’t want to admit it. “I’m scared,” she said softly.

“Scared is okay, remember?” He kissed her hand, yet again getting a smile out of her. “You’ve gotten over a lot of fears this week. You can find the courage to help Dyne, too.”

“I’ll believe that the day I’m able to make love to you.”

“Then stay,” he urged softly while caressing her hands. “Stay and build courage. Stay for us.”

“Stay with me in Paphos.”

Mido stopped caressing and blinked, then sat very still as the idea rolled around in his head. Jessie was just as surprised at herself for saying it. She’d intended to keep that secret until she got back home. He scrunched his brows and thought some more, and then his eyes widened and he smiled. “I will, but on one condition.” Jessie looked at their hands, then back at his eyes. “Help Captain.”

Fear gripped her as thoughts of death filled her mind. “That’s a lot to ask.”

“So is staying with you in Paphos. I’m a sailor at heart but I’d give it all up to be with you.”

Jessie swallowed. “Maybe I’m asking too much of you.”

“Not from my perspective.”

“Then maybe we’re not thinking this through.”

“Well then let’s take some time to think.”

“These are huge decisions. How long will it take us to sail from here to Cyprus?”

He thought a moment. “No more than a week.”

Jessie’s heart began to race and she felt her hands getting sweaty in Mido’s grasp. “I need more time than that. This involves more lives than our own.”

“Then let’s go talk to Captain.”

At some point in the afternoon, I finally escorted Delilah back to her brothel. We took a canopied cart and a few hundred U.D. worth of fancy chocolates to all the women who worked at Summer Lotus. I was in a giving mood and I wanted to leave a positive impression on all the girls at the brothel. I lost count of how many kisses they planted on my face as I handed out all the boxes wrapped in bows. Not that I counted. Delilah kindly helped me wash off the lipstick, then sent me off with one final kiss, the one that counted. The ladies wished me farewell outside the entrance, waving ribbons and morsels of chocolate, and urged me to come back soon.

If only I could. “I’ll do my best, ladies. Take care.” I waved, then plopped into the awaiting cart. My legs were still wobbly. Just standing in front of the glass in the chocolate shop while pointing at random things that looked good had taken a lot of effort. I’d wanted to lie down and tell the clerk to just give me a little bit of everything, but I refused to give gifts the lazy way. Delilah and I had used each other for crutches while she helped me pick out sweets. Maybe one day I’d come back and continue to woo her. It took more effort to resist love than it did giving in to it.

The cyclist dropped me and my duffle bag off by my cargo pushers, who were busy loading crates of fuel and our France shipment. Morocco exported salt, silk, and glass wares. Glass was a big pain to ship but worth the money. Doubly worth it since we were going to navigate notoriously dangerous waters. I meandered towards the stern ladder as Scully manned the dock’s steam crane, which was in far better shape than the one in Chesapeake. The rest of my cargo pushers moved the next crate within reach of the crane. Scully waved and the others welcomed me back.

“Everyone feeling ready to get back on the water?”

They laughed that certain laugh men have when feeling satisfied after having a great time with a great woman or two. Rammus said, “You bet, Captain. What about you?”

“Look how he’s walking,” Scully said. “What do you think?”

I gave them a dismissive wave. “Back to work, boys.” They laughed again, then returned to their crates.

When I made it to the stern ladder, I stopped and stared up at the rusty rungs. Good god, the deck looked so far away. Seriously, it looked like it’d take me halfway to the clouds. I didn’t think I’d want sex for a solid month. I heaved a sigh, then hefted my duffle bag and mustered the energy to climb aboard.

I was in the middle of folding my now empty bag when I heard a polite knock on my cabin’s wood doorframe. Mido and Jessie stood there, hand in hand. My cook had a dreamy look that I probably was mirroring. Jessie shared our contentment, but with some anxiety mixed in. “What’s up?”

Mido said, “Captain, when would be a good time to talk to you about where we head next?”

“Right now, actually.” The question caught me off guard but I did my best to stay casual. I stowed my folded bag in a cabinet drawer, then leaned against the bunks. Where else could Jessie possibly want to go besides home? “So what’s up?”

Mido looked to Jessie, who let go of his hand and stepped forward. “Would you be willing to make another delivery or two before taking me home? I need more time to think things through.”

“You have a whole another week to think. Why do you need more time?”

“It’s just very scary what you’re asking of me,” she admitted. “I need a chance to build more courage so I don’t just stay home once I see it. I want to help you but I’m not ready to officially say yes to that yet.”

“Okay.” Over the years I’d become very good at detecting half truths and whole lies. Jessie sounded like she’d rehearsed what she just said, so here I had a half truth. “I believe you so far. What’s the other reason for the delay?”

Jessie and Mido exchanged shocked looks. They knew they’d been caught in their theatrics but Jessie still said, “What do you mean?”

I folded my arms and spoke patiently. “Jessie, I’ve been around for a very long time. I know when I’m not getting the full story.” I’d already made up my mind but I still wanted to hear everything. “Spill it.”

She opened her mouth but no words came out. She tried again but I assumed uncertainty stole her words. She looked to Mido for help. When he spoke, I began to feel afraid. They’d clearly grown attached to one another. He wouldn’t, would he…?

“Captain, I told her I’d go live with her in Paphos—” Oh, crap, he would! “—but on the condition that she helps us lift your curse.”