John O'Brien - Conspiracy

“Yes, Nahmer. What can I do for you?” the supervisor asks, picking up on the first ring.

“Do we have the naval communication codes?” Gav asks.

“We do. They are older codes as the download of the latest naval databases never completed but they could still be validated.”

“Have the codes ready. Find that sub and inform me the moment they surface,” Gav states, hanging up before receiving a response. She is already focused on other parts of a plan forming in her mind.

Lynn doesn’t know exactly how she feels as she watches Jack head down the stairs. It’s been an unreal day. The adrenaline rush and relief of being freed from captivity…followed by the death of McCafferty. She was already exhausted, but the extreme ups and downs have drained her even more so. She feels like she can sleep for a week. As she stares blankly at Jack’s retreating back, she feels her mind shutting down.

Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs, she trudges toward her room with no other thought than to fold into a coma-like sleep. Sinking wearily onto her cot, Lynn begins to untie her boots when she hears a rap at the entrance.

“Come in,” she says, sliding off one of her boots.

Drescoll enters and Lynn takes in his puffy red eyes and tightly drawn face. He seems ill at ease and absent-mindedly rubs his ear in a nervous fashion.

“What’s up?” she asks, knowing her long-time friend needs someone to talk with.

She had expected this visit and wanted to talk with him earlier but knew he would come to her when the time was right for him. Having lost loved ones as well, she knows the confusion, anger, and the feeling of being lost that he must be going through.

Drescoll hesitates in a nervous fashion. “Look, I know you’ve been through some shit and don’t need to hear me whining.”

“Sit your ass down,” Lynn says, pulling off her remaining boot.

“I just…just don’t know what to do. I feel so lost. I just don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he says, his eyes taking on a far off stare — his mind both present and away at the same time.

“I know it’s hard, and I wish there was something I could say that would take the pain away. All I can really say is that I have an inkling of what you are going through, and the best we can do is take it minute by minute. The pain may not pass entirely, but it becomes endurable. You have to push on… believing that things will get better. Time may not heal completely, but it does make the loss more bearable.”

“I get that, but that is only if you have something to live for… something that you care about. What’s to live for, Lynn? Everything I cared about has been taken away.”

“I know it seems that way right now, but not everything has been taken away. You still have people who care about you and who rely on you. And, this may sound cliché, but both you and I know that Allie would want you to carry on. Keep your memories precious by not giving up.”

“I know all of that, but it really doesn’t matter to me right now. This is a shitty-ass world. Allie made it worth living in. I just don’t have it in me to do it anymore,” Drescoll says, staring at his feet.

“You had something to live for before you two started, so I know there’s something there. There’s your team and our continued survival. The one thing that worked for me was to immerse myself in the training and keep myself busy. Sometimes that was the only thing that kept me going. I would like to say it was Jack or something else like that, but in all honesty, that kind of healing can only come from inside. You find something else that you care about or that you have to do, whether you truly believe in it or not, and you keep at it. For me, I realized that there are others who need me on a day-to-day basis and that sustained me. Your team and the others in this camp need you, whether you realize it or not, they do. Let that sustain you. If you give up, then the other side won, whether that is the night runners or those who attacked us,” Lynn states.

Drescoll remains silent, staring at the ground.

“I know you’re in a tremendous amount of pain and feeling lost. No words that I say are going to make that go away. Your actions and time will. It seems like a dark tunnel now with no light in sight, but if you continue to march along, that light will appear and life will regain meaning. You’ll just have to trust me on that. And know that people look up to you and care about you…a lot.”

“I appreciate that and know in my mind that what you say is true. But that has so little meaning for me, and just seems so…well…superficial,” Drescoll mumbles.

“I know it does. You’re going to feel sorrow and anger, sometimes within minutes of each other. Each day will get better, though. We’ve been through a lot of shit, and will probably go through more of it, but we’ve also come a long ways.”

“At what cost? I just don’t feel that it’s worth it anymore.”

“The personal cost has been high for a lot of us. But what choice do we really have but to carry on for those we’ve lost? There is really only one real option, and that is to survive at any cost. When that anger comes, and it will, turn that against those who want to hurt us and toward making this a better place. If we win, they lose and vice versa. For the moment, let the doc give you something to sleep or you’re going to lie in agony and the thoughts that come aren’t going to help…only make it worse. Come on, I’ll walk you there.”

“No, that’s okay. You’ve been through a lot already and I’m sorry to burden you more.” Drescoll turns to leave.

“Bull-fucking–shit. You’re just feeling sorry for yourself. I’m always here for you and always will be…as are the others. You’re a part of us and we’re a part of you. What happens to you happens to us. Now, come on, let’s go see the doc,” Lynn says, slipping her boots back on.

“Thanks.”

Leaving the group, I make my way down into the storage room where we have the prisoner locked up. The container has been set just inside the loading docks with two guards posted next to the metal doors. Several buckets, most still full of water, sit close by. They have instructions to keep the shooter awake by dousing him with water every hour. Sleep deprivation is one of the most useful tools when trying to extract information. Many can withstand torture to an extent, but sleep deprivation makes everything seem worse.

The guards open the doors at my request. Inside, an arc light has been set up to make our prisoner’s stay all the more enjoyable. He is on his knees with his arms chained above him and seems little worse for wear. His uniform is still soaked from water that was thrown on him earlier. He looks up at my entrance through tired red eyes. His muscles tense with resolve at my arrival. Yeah, this guy is no amateur.

“I hope you are enjoying our hospitality. We’re striving to make your stay a pleasant one. We may not have all of the amenities, but we do go all out for our guests,” I say, squatting in front of him.

The silence he maintains is expected.

“Like I said earlier, we both know how this game is played and how it ends. Knowing that, the only consideration is how much do you want to endure before that happens? The answer to that is entirely up to you. You have the option to save yourself a lot by telling me what I want to know,” I state.

Silence. I shrug nonchalantly.

“Alright, have it your way. It matters little to me. I’m not the one chained up and have nothing to lose whichever way you choose. Oh, but in other news, we have captured some of your team. Some of them… well… didn’t make it. My sincere apologies, mate. I know how it is to lose people, so I truly do mean that. They just didn’t want to play nice and come along quietly.” I watch him closely.