Ray Gorham: 77 Days in September

Kyle reached out and grabbed her hand. “Well, it doesn’t sound so good when you put it that way, but I’ve been very happy here, maybe too happy. I’m glad you found me, or I found you, however it happened. If I don’t make it home, I want you to know that I’m still glad that I made it this far.”

“Oh, damn you, Kyle. Don’t talk like that!” she said. “You’ve started me crying again.” Rose sat up and wiped her tears on her shirtsleeve. “Don’t even think that you’re not going to make it home, or else don’t go tomorrow.”

“I’m just saying that it’s been worth it to walk this far if all it meant was getting to spend these days with you.”

“I know what you meant, and I appreciate it. But you can’t seriously not think you’re going to make it. I didn’t save your life so you could die trekking through Montana.”

“Okay, I promise I’ll make it.”

“Good. I accept your promise.”

“When or if things get back to normal, I’ll send you a letter to let you know that I did make it.”

“I’ll watch my mailbox for it, so you’d better not let me down.”

Kyle leaned towards Rose and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. She returned the hug and pulled him towards her. They lay back on the bed in silence, holding each other in the darkness of the night, enjoying the contact and the feeling of safety that being with someone offered. As the first stars appeared in the sky outside the window Kyle spoke. “I won’t let you down, Rose,” he whispered. She wiped her eyes on his shoulder, and the pressure of her arms relaxed, so he sat up to leave. “It’s dark, and I want to get out at sun-up, so I should probably head to bed. I’ve got a lot of miles to make up.”

Rose reached for his arm. In the faint moonlight, he could see that her eyes were soft and pleading, and her lips trembled as she tried to find the right words. “Stay with me tonight, Kyle, if you would.”

Kyle took her hand in his and held it, staring into her eyes and feeling a storm of emotions. “I can’t, Rose… I just can’t.” Her shoulders sagged, and he felt her hand pull away. “Don’t think it’s because I’m not attracted to you. It’s far, far from that. This morning, in the bathroom, the second time I knocked at the door and you said to come in, with your voice so inviting and the image of you in the bathtub, like some Greek goddess, still fresh in my mind, it took every bit of willpower I had not to open the door. For the next hour I tried to find a way that I could justify being with you. I told myself that Jennifer would never be hurt because she would never find out. I know guys that would give their right arm to be in my shoes, and I could think of a dozen reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“And your answer’s still no?”

He nodded. “It’s still no.”

“Can I ask why?”

“I don’t know if my answer will make sense to you.”

“Try me. I’d like to understand. Maybe I’d feel better.”

“Well, these last six or seven weeks, without the constant distractions that I usually have to deal with, like work, and the TV, and the internet, you know, just the day to day things, I’ve had all the time in the world to think, and the thing I’ve realized, that really, finally, became crystal clear to me today, is that the only thing that matters, the only thing that I couldn’t stand the thought of losing, was my family — my wife and our kids. I wasn’t worried about getting the TV back, or even my job, or having a nice house to stay in. It’s Jennifer and David and Emma and Spencer. With the distractions gone, you see it. I wouldn’t deserve Jennifer’s love if I would cheat on her if I could get away with it.” He looked at Rose, her eyes were locked on his. “Jennifer wouldn’t know it, but I would, and that would be enough to make me miserable. I’ve been faithful all these years just because I should, never thinking much about it. Now I know why. It all came together for me. She deserves someone she can trust, someone who loves her completely. I can’t betray that.”

“You know that sounds pretty old-fashioned, don’t you.”

Kyle nodded and smiled. “I do, but I think the older generations were on to something.”

“Sounds like how my grandfather used to talk. He was married to my grandmother for sixty-one years. He died when she did; it just took his body six months to realize it. Guess I come across as quite the bimbo, don’t I.”

“No. Now if you’d been under the blankets with me the first day I woke up, I might have thought so, but not with how things have turned out.”

“You know, they say body heat’s a good way to treat hypothermia.”

“I’ve heard that, but it still would have been an odd way to meet.”

Rose let go of him and lay back on her pillow. “I guess I’ll be sleeping alone again tonight then.”

Kyle lay down beside her and put his arm under her head. “If it means anything, I do love you. Not the passionate, physical, Hollywood kind of love. Just the true, human, I’ll-remember-you-forever kind.”

“I guess that’s something,” Rose said and laid her arm across Kyle’s chest. “Your wife’s a lucky lady.”

Rose closed her eyes and sighed deeply as Kyle stroked her head. Within minutes, she was sleeping peacefully, and Kyle slid his arm out from under her, covered her with a blanket, and left the room.

Thursday, October 27 th

Deer Creek, Montana

Jennifer trailed Spencer around the yard as he made the most of his first playtime outside in more than a week. The weather was sunny and warm, and most of the snow that hadn’t been collected and saved in the house had melted off. It felt good to be outside. The air still had a cool nip to it, but it felt fresh and sweet. The birds were enjoying the sunshine as well, singing raucously and fluttering about busily. Jennifer noticed that the grass was long, but it looked like it was finally going dormant for the winter. She knew that if Kyle could see his yard, he would be disappointed. “He’s worked so hard to get it in and to this stage,” she thought. Kyle was always a stickler for keeping the lawn manicured and having things looking just so.

Being cooped up inside for a few days had left the family cold and a little on edge, and Jennifer worried about how her family would deal with being stuck in the house during the coming winter. David had been glad to get out of the house and back to work for the past couple of days, which surprised Jennifer. For a kid who wouldn’t take the trash out without a protest, David’s enthusiasm for work indicated just how sick he was of being stuck at home with the family. Emma was again withdrawing more and more but wouldn’t talk about her worries, leaving Jennifer to wonder what, of the dozens of possibilities, the problem could be. Even Emma’s instructor for her school group had been concerned. Spencer, of the three kids, still seemed to be the least affected by the changes. He missed his TV shows and movies and favorite cereal, but still found joy in simple things, like messing around outside.

“Good morning! How are the two of you?”

Jennifer looked up to see Grace waving as she walked towards her.

“We’re surviving. How about you?” she called back and headed towards her neighbor. She tried to sound upbeat, but wasn’t sure she’d succeeded.

“I’m good. Just coming out to see about harvesting the rest of the potatoes. It looks like the ground is still too wet. If the weather stays nice, I should have them in by the end of the week.”

“You’re pretty amazing, Grace. Are you going to need any help getting them in?”

“If you don’t mind. Work always goes faster when you’ve got a friend to share it with.”