Jason Morrow - Anywhere but Here

Murder? My heart jumps into my throat. Why is he talking about murder? My once-steady hands begin to tremble slightly. I glance in Gabe’s direction but he only stares at the ground in front of him. Why won’t you look at me?

“I don’t know how many of you have met Remi here,” Paxton says, pointing to me. “But she is the first of our town to be caught stealing. She broke into the headquarters building and stole a journal from us — one that kept record of all of our decisions as elders. And she stole a gun.”

I can feel the eyes of every person fall on me. I try to keep my hands from shaking but no amount of fist balling or tensing up keeps it from happening. I thought I had nerves of steel, but I guess I was wrong.

“Such an act cannot go unpunished,” Paxton says. “We cannot tolerate thievery within our town. All of us have enough to worry about without having to deal with thieves among us.”

There are a few snorts of agreement. I think I even hear someone say amen to Paxton. People will play Simon Says to the end of their days so long as they don’t have to think for themselves.

“But even worse than these crimes,” Paxton says, “is the crime of murder.”

This time, I’m the one that gasps.

“Yesterday, Remi used the gun she stole to kill one of our own soldiers,” Paxton says, his eyes on everyone but me.

“Liar!” I yell out, taking a step forward. I immediately feel two sets of strong hands grasp my arms, pulling me back to my spot. The crowd behind me starts talking, some yelling indistinguishable words to each other. I don’t care. My eyes go from Paxton to Gabe, neither of them looking at me. “I didn’t kill Skip!” Saying his name makes me sound even more guilty, I’m sure. “You were there. You. Mendez. Gabe. All of you were there. You know I didn’t kill anyone. I saved you!” My words are lost in the angry mob behind me.

“That’s why the other elders and I have decided that she should be banished from Crestwood,” Paxton says, ignoring my cries. His eyes are wide as though he truly believes this lie that he has made up.

The citizens seem so angry that I’m not sure there will be time for me to be banished.

Kill her! one man shouts out.

Who did she kill? another asks.

I stand in shock. This is a complete betrayal. Paxton must have wanted me gone so he figured out a way to do it.

The 300 or more people start to become so heated that four more guards move to surround me so no one will try to do something stupid (like grabbing me and strangling me in the middle of the street). Clearly my blood should be spilled, according to some of the people in the crowd.

My eyes find Gabe again as two of the guards start pulling me away from the street, but he’s walking away from me. I’m led to the headquarters building and dragged up the stairs to the second floor. I try to ask the guards — plead with them to let me go because it was all a lie. I knew it would do no good, but I’m in shock. I can’t believe Paxton would just lie like that.

I sit in front of the same desk that I had ransacked a couple of nights before, my wrists beginning to throb from the tight bindings around them. The guards that had pushed me in here are now gone but for one standing at the door. My back is to him as I sit in the chair. I try to turn to him and ask him what is happening, but he only stares straight ahead like one of those royal guards from Buckingham Palace. I try to find the thought funny — a soldier with one of those towering hats, no longer standing at attention, but instead greyish and rotting with the desire to eat anything that moves — but I can find nothing funny about it. I can’t even force myself to smile. Banishment is the worst thing that could have happened. I would almost rather be set in front of a firing squad and shot than to be thrown out into the wild, weaponless and scared.

I wait for at least ten minutes before the door behind me opens and Paxton walks through alone. I feel my jaw clench and blood rush to my neck and cheeks. I have never felt so angry.

“What was all that about?” I ask, trying to remain civil. He won’t listen to me if I’m yelling at him.

He makes his way to the other side of the desk and sits in his comfortable chair across from me. He looks at the guard at the door and waves him off. When the door closes, his eyes meet mine for the first time today. “I did what has to be done.”

“You know I didn’t murder anyone,” I say. “I never denied stealing from you, but I didn’t kill Skip. You, Gabe, Mendez…you all know this.”

“It is for the best,” Paxton says.

“How?” I ask, clearly confused.

“I’m not running a prison here,” he says, repeating the same slogan he fed to the elders when discussing my punishment. “None of the elders thought stealing was enough to send you away, but none of us wanted to keep prisoners either.”

You didn’t want to keep prisoners, not the other elders, is what I want to say. I wish I could tell him that I heard the entire deliberation and how he took control over the elders…how he refused to listen to anyone else’s opinion.

“Was this Shadowface’s idea?” I ask.

Paxton’s eyebrows lower as I say these words. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know you answer to him,” I say. “I know he’s a supplier, and apparently he’s the one actually running things around here. Not the elders.”

“Just because you read the word Shadowface in some record journal doesn’t mean you have any idea what you are talking about,” he says, but he looks away when he says it. He starts tapping his fingers on the desk in front of him — not with his fingernails, but his fingertips which gives an offbeat flat tempo in the much too silent room.

“I will do anything it takes to stay,” I tell him. My wrists are really beginning to hurt now. My fingers are starting to go numb. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Why did you break in?” he asks. “That’s what puzzles me the most.”

I shrug. “I was actually looking for records. I wanted to know what kind of people you were. The gun was secondary. I saw it and I took it. It was stupid.”

“Foolish,” he says. “Not necessarily stupid. You saved our lives with it.”

The fact that he is commending me for saving his life with the gun he claimed I killed Skip with makes me livid. “So, why are you banishing me? I didn’t do what you said. You don’t have to imprison me. You don’t have to banish me. Think of another punishment.”

“The punishment must be well-remembered,” he says. “I want you gone for the stealing, but it’s not enough to banish you, so, you’re a murderer.”

“Don’t you see that it’s not right?” I ask.

“Don’t you see that I don’t care?” he comes back. “I’m trying to create a perfectly safe environment here at Crestwood.”

“And you’ve done a great job with that,” I say. “But you can’t just banish everyone that steals something.”

“Until now we have never had the problem with people stealing things,” he says.

“So, that’s it then,” I say. “You’re going to open the gates and send me walking. You might as well put me to death.”

“That’s much too drastic for what you have really done,” he says. “But I’m willing to give you a chance.”

My heart begins to beat a little heavier. A chance? Was all this constructed so Paxton might send me on some mission of his?

“I’m willing to let you back into Crestwood,” he says. “I’m willing to stand in front of everyone here and tell them that it was all a big mistake — that you didn’t kill anyone and that you didn’t even steal anything…that’s all it will take. One tiny speech and all is forgiven.”