Timothy Long - The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole

Leon sweeps the fallen lighters and trolls into a pile and drops them back on his nightstand. He sets one troll upright, but the screams of two females send the lighters and dolls tumbling back to the floor. Leon recognizes the shouts of ecstasy from a scene in which two midget ladies pleasure three tribesmen hung like rhinos while bouncing ass to ass on a seven-inch-thick double dildo. Yup , Leon thinks, Volume 7, before opening the door and heading down to the theater.

Leon clomps down the narrow staircase between his apartment and the busy porn shop/theater below. Jerome waddles out of the big theater buckling his pants. Leon’s beer-bellied boss shoots him a smug grin. “Do you love that scene as much as I do, Leon?”

Leon rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Just because he still jerks off to it every now and then doesn’t mean he entirely enjoys the scene. He is sick of waking up to the same midget screams every morning.

Jerome smiles and asks Bud the same question.

Bud doesn’t look up from the Daily Gab spread out on the glass case containing the flavored anal lubes and beads. He turns the page lazily and tells Jerome, “Nope.”

Jerome grunts and asks, “How ya doin’ this morning, Leon?”

Leon walks down the last step and replies, “Cock cock Jesus cock.”

Jerome adjusts his crotch and laughs, “Jesus cock you’re weird, Leon.”

“Sins sheep blowjob lamb,” Leon tells him and then makes his way to the peep show hallway where his janitor closet and mop bucket await him.

“Mornin’, Leon,” Bud says without looking up.

“Anal twins hail Mary, Bud,” Leon says with a nod and a smile.

Jerome waddles past a display of Jaime St. Pucker Pocket Pussies (his current bestseller) to Bud at the counter. “I don’t get it. Leon don’t act retarded, but he talks like some sacrilege pervert.”

“Are you kidding me?” Bud’s bloodshot eyes glare at Jerome over his skinny-rimmed glasses.

Jerome huffs and stares at Bud with confusion etched on his fat face.

“You are slowly frying his fucking brain, you asshole,” Bud says with a look of disgust. “You and your fucking bathtub acid. You use his straw to stir every batch of that shit…”

“Whoa,” Jerome says and raises a hand to silence Bud. “First of all, you shitbag, it ain’t ‘shit.’ It is every bit as potent as real LSD and made almost entirely of things you can find around your house.”

Bud scoffs. “Yeah, if you live in a crack house with The Merry Pranksters and have a pharmacy for your basement.”

Jerome hitches up his pants and frowns at Bud’s interruption. “And I don’t just stir it, Bud, I straight dose Leon every fucking morning. Well, except Sundays. Because of church and all.”

Bud’s jaw drops open and his eyes twitch. He can’t find the words to describe what a greasy shit stain Jerome is.

Jerome misinterprets Bud’s silence. “I know, right?!?!”

Bud’s self-control loses the battle with his outrage, and he shouts, “You are a greasy shit stain, Jerome! Your bathtub acid is full of fucking household poisons. You’ll fucking kill him!”

Jerome waves his fat hand in the air as if to wipe away Bud’s words. “What the fuck ever. It kicks ass.” He chuckles and it shakes him like a bowl of moldy Jell-o. “Just ask Leon!”

As he says it, Jerome remembers he has a batch in the back-up mop bucket in Leon’s closet. Leon hardly ever changes buckets, but if he notices the oily acid, he might dump it down the drain.

“Shit!” He waddles as fast as he can to the peep show hallway, yelling Leon’s name as he goes.

Leon has the door to his closet open, but he hasn’t yet grabbed his mop and bucket when Jerome rolls around the corner into the darkened jerk-off hallway, clutching his chest and wheezing like the dying. The fat man’s face has turned blue.

Jerome gasps, “Leon… *gag*… some ass… *raspy breath*… hole… *gag*… unsealed… *raspy breath into gag*… the… *deep breath*… motha’ fuckin’… *cough, cough, gag*… glory hole… *gag, choke, spit, and sigh*… between booths fifteen and fourteen.”

Leon looks down the hallway, which is lit only by the large case showing the current assortment of porn playing in the booths, to booth 15 at the hall’s dark end. A chill shakes him, and nervousness clouds his eyes.

He looks to the still-wheezing Jerome and says, “Glory hole… nononono.”

“Oh yeah,” Jerome adds, reaching past Leon into the closet, “and take this.”

He hands Leon an old and rusted half-empty toolbox. Leon sighs and walks down the dark hallway, never even turning to see what movie he would choose to spank off to before he goes to his next job. Most likely that new Hindu/sacred cow/bestiality DVD Jerome showed him two days ago. Then he could watch it in the privacy of his own small room rather than one of the crowded cum-smelling booths he cleans to pay his rent.

While Leon walks down the hall, lost in thoughts of swinging cow balls, Jerome ducks back into the janitor closet. He grabs the straw from Leon’s favorite mug in one fat fist and pulls it out with a slurping sound. He chuckles, fat and wet, while he stirs the small tub of homemade LSD with Leon’s straw.

Leon opens the door to booth 14. So far in his employ at Jerome’s EXXXtreme Theater and Sex Shop, Leon has never been inside booth 15. It is the darkest booth in the entire hallway and the most popular. It has only one neighbor and gives a half-assed impression of privacy to businessmen as they take mid-afternoon wank breaks. Something about booth 15 always sets the hair on the back of Leon’s neck on end. When the glory hole appeared between booths 14 and 15, Leon got his first views of the creepy area through the dick-shaped hole. Leon has sealed the hole up at least a dozen times, but someone (or in Leon’s mind something ) keeps tearing the block away.

He digs in his pocket for his employee coin, which he drops in the coin slot. The screen clicks to life as the coin drops out of the return. A blonde with double D titties is getting pounded from behind on the screen, but Leon pays her little attention. He likes the noise, as it keeps his mind from wandering about the horrors of booth 15. He kneels, opens his toolbox, and digs for the flathead screwdriver.

The screen in booth 15 clicks to life. Leon jumps a little at the sound, but he glances to the blonde on screen. After watching her tits bounce for a second, Leon turns his attention back to his screwdriver search. He hears a deep moan from booth 15, and he mutters “titty fuck” under his breath. He wraps his shaking fingers around the screwdriver. As he turns to stand, a giant black dick flops through the glory hole and smacks him hard across his face.

Leon tips backward, hand on cheek. He stares at the dick (which is big enough to have starred in Ugandan Midget Gangbang volumes 1 through 9), and it bounces playfully inches from his stinging cheek. Leon reacts instinctively by hammering the offending prick with the hard plastic handle of the screwdriver before grabbing his tool box. He rubs his cheek and smashes the rusty toolbox against the huge prick before fleeing the horror of the massive face-slapping schlong.

The owner of the beaten dick howls and crashes against the walls of booth 15, shaking the doors to all the booths on the same side of the hallway, but Leon doesn’t look back. He opens the door to his janitor closet and throws the toolbox to the floor harder than he means to. The man in booth 15 is cursing and threatening lives in a deep angry voice, but he doesn’t open the door before Leon grabs his mug and leaves the hallway behind him.

Jerome eyes Leon suspiciously as he hauls ass out of the hallway.

“Whoa, Leon,” Jerome says while leaning forward on the glass case. The case whines under his weight, and he leans back, “What happened?”