Timothy Long - The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole

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Recipe for the apocalypse:
• Four parts Horsemen of the Apocalypse
• Three drops of bathtub LSD
• A handful of sexual perverts
• Garnish with a bunch of really hot pissed-off militant lesbians
• Add a splash of savior approved Red Bull
• Shake or stir, just don’t upset junk-monkey Phil in the process.
Serve to the demons that are currently invading the Earth. You think you know how the world ends? You don’t know shit!
Armageddon arrived on a weekday, which was really inconvenient for a lot of people, including The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. After their appearance on The Kayla Mangrabler talk show, they decided to go their separate ways and cause as much havoc as possible.
Jesus has been stuck at the craps table for three days, sipping vodka and Red Bull, completely missing the end of the world. But he is about to meet up with Death and go on a road trip that will test their resolve and their blood alcohol content.
Meanwhile, an unlikely band of heroes are headed to Las Vegas to fight the Apocalypse. Creepy Chuzz and his one-armed, addict monkey Phil are flying there in an ice cream truck. Chuzz’s best friend Leon plans to lend a hand, assuming he can escape the clutches of the insane Father Maniwhore not to mention Pestilence, who has designs on the janitor’s bathtub-LSD-addled brain.
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hordes of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hellbent on delivering a Cease and Desist order to Lucifer himself.
They’d better hurry, because the Devil is rising in the desert, and he is hungry to start the Apocalypse that his son could not. But only if he can get it on with his giant floating glory hole. * * *

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She spins around at the tent entrance to see which of the women is stalking them. A figure that can’t be female forms in the dusky twilight. Another is already waiting in the small tent, and the larger figures drive the two women to the ground. They fall with twin umphs . It probably sounds like pain to the attackers, like they have taken the women down. But it is not a grunt of pain. It is the sound of two experienced fighters exhaling as they strike so the force of air leaving their lungs is voluntary.

Edwina doesn’t even try hard. She drops to the ground and rolls with her assailant. Her knee comes up, and she uses the figure’s momentum to toss it over her head. She rolls with it and comes up with her shirt flapping to expose her lily-white ass, but at this moment she couldn’t give two shits about what she is displaying.

The attacker groans, and she lashes out a foot to land a perfect blow that flips the figure onto its back. Looking over her shoulder, she gets a glimpse of Darla, who is astride her own attacker’s chest, beating the hell out of whoever it is.

Darla looks up. Their eyes meet, and they both smile.

“You all right?” Edwina asks and feels stupid since the person under Darla is probably down and out for the count.

“Yep. Lets truss these mother fuckers up and see what we caught.”

Screams erupt from outside as the camp becomes a chaos of running figures and shouts in the night. There are groans and smacks and even a low howl that could only come from… a man! Edwina hops onto the figure she subdued and whips the black cloth off its face. A scruffy fellow with half a beard stares into her eyes with fear oozing from his blood-splattered face. He is clearly terrified. His nose is smashed and bloody, and two of his front teeth are broken. His lips are split, and all he can do is raise his hands to his face in supplication.

“Please,” he gags on his own blood, but Edwina has a different idea of what the man is asking for and delivers a crushing open-hand blow to his throat. He chokes and gags, tries to roll over and even sticks his fingers in his throat in an attempt to get air down. It’s useless, and after a minute his legs stop twitching and he stares wide-eyed at the ceiling.

Darla is also having pretty good luck. She wraps her legs around her attacker-turned-victim. Edwina gets a look as she first lifts her leg high then smashes her ankle into the guy’s face. Then she wraps her thick thighs around the man and smothers him right into her cooch. Just as he stops thrashing, she lets a long and loud fart rip across the tent.

Edwina collapses in tears.

Darla chuckles as she extracts her legs from the dead guy. She pulls the hood of his black sweatshirt aside, and they both stare at him. This one is younger than the first but still scruffy and covered in blood.

“What is that on his forehead?”

“Smudged blood, I think. Wait, it’s a symbol.”

Darla leans close. Edwina is ready to strike if the guy so much as twitches. It’s like that in the movies; when you get close to the dead bad guy, he always pops his head up with an evil grin. If he does that now, he is going to get a fresh fist in the schnoz. Just one of the many skills taught at this ‘girls camp.’

“It’s a fucking pentagram.”

Screams from outside the tent interrupt their scrutiny. Edwina is on her feet as fast as a whip with Darla right behind her.

“Poor men.”

“Yep.”

The Apocalypse and Satans Glory Hole - изображение 13

“So what the fuck do we have here?” Marcel wears a skintight black leather dress and a no-shit-taking frown. She carries a whip in one hand and a knife in the other. Edwina feels a tightening in her stomach every time the statuesque woman looks at her. She has heard the stories of the big tent where women go to serve.

Marcel is pacing up and down a row of chairs. Her high heels put her over six feet tall, and she is pretty much the spitting image of a dominatrix. Her prisoners are far from the spitting image of willing slaves. They are crying and moaning, and one of the little fucks has even pissed himself.

“You mean to tell me that you came here to kill us?”

“Yes,” one of the men sobs. He, like the dead men, has a pentagram on his forehead, but now it is smeared, and snot is running down his face and he almost looks pathetic. He cries when she stops in front of him and slowly brings the knife up to his face, to the place between his eyes and then drags it ever so slowly down his nose, lips, chin and chest until she stops at his groin. She uses the knife lightly, but it leaves a thin slit where it passes.

The man is tied to a high-back chair, and someone had the good sense to strap a two-by-four behind his head so that he can’t move his neck. When Marcel moves out of his line of vision, his eyes flick back and forth at the ocean of angry women before him, but his pleas fall on deaf ears.

“Why?”

“We came to unleash he who will obliterate the sun. The spawn, Satan himself.”

“Satan?” she asks lightly.

“Yes, the light destroyer.”

“Know something, champ? You are a fucking idiot.” And she jams the knife home in his groin. Blood sprays out, and he screams with such violence that his voice goes hoarse, and when he drags in a breath to do it again he can’t. He can only whimper with his mouth wide open while his life drains onto the wood floor. After a while, he stops twitching.

There are only a few left, and their interrogations follow much the same pattern. Ask a question, get pissed and kill the bastard. When she is done, there are nine bodies in chairs and not a one has breath left. The man who held out the longest begged and begged. Even when Marcel slit his throat, he forced his head down against the strain of the ropes and managed to keep the blood from gushing out. But his breathing became troubled as the plan backfired and blood pooled in his lungs.

The women have no survivors, but they do have an awful lot of info. They know where the dumbasses came from. They know what they planned—as ridiculous as it sounded. And they know where to find the rest of the fuckers in the cult. The Sons of Satan’s Reedeming Cock are about to get a wakeup call.

Later, Marcel gets the ladies together and gets them all worked up. This is something she is good at and the reason she is the leader.

“Ladies, they thought they could come up here and kill us in our sleep. They planned to rape and strangle us. How does that make you feel?”

Edwina gets a chill when the cries of outrage come back. Fists pump in the air and hurled shoes and flung rocks batter the corpses.

“I say we pay a visit to these wackos and teach them a lesson they won’t forget because we are going to shorten their lives!” She cracks the whip, and the girls come to their feet, ready to rain unholy terror on the cretins who brought this on themselves.

The quake is so small it could almost be mistaken for the thudding of the women’s enthusiastic feet, but Edwina knows better, having lived in earthquake country her entire life. It is the barest of shimmers at first, but it builds and rumbles. It feels like it is right beneath them. She stares at the floor and watches the blood draining between the slats of wood, dripping onto the solid ground underneath.

The shimmer goes on for a long time.

Antichrist Comes aCallin Lorna Jean Swallows is having a shitty day Rose - фото 14

Antichrist Comes a-Callin’

Lorna Jean Swallows is having a shitty day. Rose from 212 stopped by earlier and asked if she could borrow some sugar, just a half cup. Lorna is used to the frequent requests and gave her some. The old bat stops by at least three times a week, and she is sick and goddamn tired of it.

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