Demitria Lunetta - In the End

“I know,” Jacks tells him. “I love you, Dad.”

Doc stands up straight. “I love you too, son.”

Jacks raises his gun and fires into Doc’s chest.

Doc stumbles back, clutching his wound and staring at Jacks, his face torn between pain and love. Then he falls backward and disappears over the railing.

I turn to Jacks and take the gun away from him. “Jacks, I . . . Are you okay?”

He nods once, tears streaming down his face.

“It’s now or never, Amy,” Ken calls to me.

“Jacks, please. Come with me.” I reach out for his arm and slowly lead him to the hover-copter.

Ken looks at Jacks, covered head to toe in blood. “No,” he says simply.

“I’m not leaving him,” I say.

“Then stay. I was only letting you come because of Kay. . . . But taking him—the risk is too great. What if he’s infected? And you . . . You’re not supposed to be anywhere near New Hope. Do you want to get caught? Because the more people we take, the more likely it is that you’ll be found out.”

I look at Jacks, who is slowly regaining his senses. “Amy, go. I’ll be fine.”

I shake my head. “You’ll die.”

“I won’t. I said good-bye to my father. I’ll go back to my cell and lock myself in. I’ll be safe there.”

“If you live,” I say, tears streaming down my face, “your uncle knows how to contact New Hope. That’s where I’ll be.”

“New Hope,” he repeats, nodding. “I’ll find you in New Hope. I promise.”

He hugs me to him, brushes his lips with mine, and then pushes me toward the open door of the hover-copter. Before I know what is happening, the door has closed me inside. I collapse onto the floor of the hover-copter and hug my knees.

The ache in my chest worsens the farther we get from Fort Black. I realize that all those feelings for Jacks I had buried deep down inside are now being ripped from their hiding space and are rushing to the surface. I cry into my knees and for the first time in a long time, let myself feel.

We land outside of New Hope, and the door to the hover-copter opens. Kay steps out with me.

“You remember what I told you, sunshine?”

I nod. “Wait until dark. Then go to Building Nine, climb the fire escape to the fourth floor. The window will be open.”

It was pure luck that Kay happened to be on patrol near Fort Black when Ken radioed for help. She was piloting, and when she stepped back to check on me and her brother, she found me crying on the floor of the hover-copter. She didn’t try to comfort me. Instead she acted as if we’d never been apart, and started talking tactics. It worked, pulling me from my sorrow. I wiped my tears and listened to her strong, able voice.

Kay laid out the game plan to get me into New Hope, that it was too dangerous to bring me in all the way. Instead I would walk in, Kay letting me know the best route since the new cameras have been set up around the perimeter.

Kay looks at me for a moment. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m . . . fine,” I tell her, hiding the truth. I’m far from fine, but I can’t break down again, not now when I’m so close.

She puts a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t get caught.”

“I won’t.” I pull up the hood of my synth-suit. I’d abandoned my sweatshirt and pants miles ago, tossing them out of the moving hover-copter, leaving me wearing only the black synth-suit. I used to feel naked wearing the thin fabric, but now I feel like I am wrapped in a layer of protection.

Kay steps back into the hover-copter, and before they take off, I offer Brenna a small, hopeful wave. She’s too far gone to wave back. I hope that Ken knows what he’s doing. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m abandoning her, but she should get the best medical attention in New Hope, before she’s subjected to anything worse. I hope I can help her before then.

The hover-copter rises noiselessly and disappears over the tree line. I back away into the shadows and wait for the cover of darkness.

For weeks I’d been desperate to get back to New Hope. I thought all the waiting was over, that it would be time for action. But now that I’m here—nothing.

I sit on the floor of the studio apartment and wait. I’ve been waiting three days. Three days of hiding. Three days of delay. Three days without action. I thought I felt confined in Jacks’s cell, but now I really am caged. Kay made it very clear—I’m not allowed to leave for any reason. Twice a day, Kay or Gareth bring me food and try without success to deflect my questions.

Gareth lived here before he became a Guardian, and they never reassigned the apartment. Kay made sure of that, so they could have somewhere to meet, away from the Rumble Room, away from the other Guardians who were more loyal to Dr. Reynolds and his crony Marcus. Dr. Reynolds has no idea I’m here in New Hope. For all he knows, I’m dead by order of Doc or killed during the Florae outbreak.

Though I’ve been instructed to stay away from the window, I can’t help myself—I creep up to it and pull back the curtains, peeking my head only slightly over the windowsill to survey the area. New Hope seems shockingly peaceful compared to Fort Black. We’re not near the center of activity, at the Quad or labs, but a lot of people still walk below, kids in color-coded jumpsuits, researchers in lab coats, and normal citizens whose apparel is what anyone would wear Before. A girl in a yellow jumpsuit catches my eye and for a moment I think I see Baby. The Baby who was so excited to wear yellow and was actually happy here when we first arrived. I pull the curtain closed and shake off my nostalgia, reminding myself that New Hope is not our home.

I pace the small room, my frustration starting to get the better of me. I haven’t been able to see Baby, much less figure out a plan to rescue her, and Rice hasn’t been able to get away long enough to come see me.

Rice.

Usually the thought of him calms me, but now, for some reason, the idea of seeing him agitates me further. Actually, I know the reason—Jacks. What if Jacks had been able to leave Fort Black? Would he be here with me now, cooped up in this tiny apartment? He would understand my agitation, my need to do something other than wait.

I think of our last moments together, Jacks covered in Tank’s blood. Is he still the Jacks I knew? He defeated Tank and then had to turn around and kill his own father. I hope he knows it was a necessity. I hope he’s safe.

I collapse onto the bed.

I want to fight, but all I can do is wait.

When Gareth finally comes in, I practically pounce on him.

“Any news?”

“No, honey, nothing has changed since yesterday.” He pulls a sandwich from his backpack and hands it to me. He’s wearing a T-shirt and jeans, his off-duty clothes. It means he may be able to keep me company for a while.

Sure enough, he turns the TV on to the cartoon channel and lounges on the bed. Uneasy, I sit next to him and nibble on my sandwich. It’s impossible to relax when I know Baby’s so close.

“Amy,” Gareth says without looking my way, “I can probably get you some regular clothes.” It’s not the first time he’s offered. He thinks I should change out of my synth-suit, but I’m hesitant to remove it. I even showered in it, though wearing it almost eliminates the need for showering. When I stepped out of the shower, the suit was dry within a few minutes. I know it seems like I’m being overly cautious, but the outbreak at Fort Black just proved that I could need the suit at any time. It also feels right to wear it, a layer between myself and the world. It makes me feel safe.