Нора Робертс - Year One

She worked on her archery, though she—and everyone else—considered herself a miserable failure there. She learned how to change a tire and siphon gas, and took daily driving lessons. Those lessons comprised her favorite part of the day—an hour behind the wheel with only Max beside her.

It meant an hour learning a skill she actually liked owning, and time for them to talk about the baby.

Lessons had to be postponed when snow blew in, thick and fast. It melted under sunny skies, froze as night temperatures dipped, and left them with slicks of ice under and over the remaining snow. They spread ash they’d shoveled from the fireplaces to keep paths clear.

Lana sensed everyone, like her, longed for spring. And feared the unknown that would come with the greening.

With Max and Poe on a scavenging trip, Lana decided on a full-house inventory, making notes on what she thought they should take with them. Numerous kitchen items—the big stewpot, frying pan, manual can opener, a colander, bowls, the mortar and pestle Max found for her in another cabin. Her knives, of course.

They could make do with one wooden spoon, one slotted, a single spatula—but if they, as planned, took another car, she’d wedge in more supplies and equipment.

They’d designated finding and bringing back a truck or SUV as the top priority for today’s scavenging trip. Putting her faith in Max to do just that, she earmarked more.

She looked up from detailing their medical and first-aid supplies when Kim came in. “These are holding up pretty well,” she said, “but it wouldn’t hurt to add to them once we’re on the road. I can supplement these holistically once we’re into spring. That, at least, is something I’ve learned about before.”

“I know a little about it. My mother was big into holistic and Chinese medicine.” As she spoke, Kim wandered to the window. “Listen, I really want to get out, get some sun. It’s warmer today. Are you up for it? I don’t want to get a demerit for ignoring the buddy system.”

“Sure. I could use a walk.”

“We’ve had some more thawing, so it’s sloppy out there, but—”

“Just let me get my boots.” Setting down her pad, Lana went to the mudroom. “Are you feeling all right?”

Kim shrugged, grabbed her own boots. “Itchy. I guess it’s knowing we’re winding up our time here. Part of it’s tedious, sure. Rinse and repeat. But routine gets comfortable. I want to go. We have to go, but—”

“I know.” After choosing one of the lighter jackets, Lana added a scarf. “I think we all know.”

“I’ve had this weird dread hanging over me all morning. My personal black cloud.” Kim zipped up her jacket, pulled a ski cap over her lengthening wedge of ebony hair. “Probably caught it from Allegra. I’m not ragging on her,” Kim claimed after Lana gave her an elbow poke. “She’s been lifting her weight, and cut back on the whining. But, Jesus.” She yanked open the door, took a deep inhale of air as they stepped out. “You can practically see her black cloud.”

“My sense, from what I’ve seen and what she’s said, is she came from privilege. Only child of well-off parents—divorced parents, and maybe a little spoiled by both as compensation.”

“Yeah, WASP princess. Sorry, that is ragging on her, and I really barely knew her before all this, and only casually at best once she and Eric hooked up.”

“Were you and Eric…”

“What? Oh, no.” On her laugh, some of the stress in Kim’s face lifted. “We had some classes together, and he dated a friend of mine for a while last year. I knew Shaun better—a couple of nerds. It was just chance, really, that the five of us ended up taking off together. We all ended up hiding out in the theater—the prop room. Poe had a car, Shaun had this place, so we decided to get the hell out. We had one more, my friend Anna. She didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d lost someone. You were close?”

“Dorm mates. We didn’t have a lot in common, but we hit it off, and we got pretty tight. She was a theater major, and that’s how I ended up in the prop room. She dragged me in there. She wanted to stay, ride it out, but I convinced her we had to go, we had to take off with the others.”

“You were right to go, Kim. You couldn’t have risked staying.”

“I know, and I hang on to that. It was the first night out … We hadn’t gotten very far, things were crazy. We actually found this empty house—a shack really. Anna was kind of a wreck, I guess we all were. In the morning … we found her in the morning.”

Lana said nothing as Kim gathered herself, breathed in deep.

“She’d hanged herself from a tree branch. She used a bedsheet. And she’d pinned a note to her coat. It just read: ‘I’d rather die.’”

Lana put an arm around Kim’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about her so much today. Part of that black cloud. Where’s everyone else? I know Max and Poe are out car shopping.”

Change the subject, Lana thought, and gave Kim a quick squeeze before dropping her arm. “I think Eddie and Shaun took Joe out for some exercise, maybe some archery practice.”

“It’s good for Shaun—Eddie and Joe, I mean. Even inside the circle of nerds, he’s the one who usually got picked on or ignored. Eddie treats him like he’s cool, and that’s probably the first time in his life Shaun’s approached the outer edges of the boundaries of coolness. And he’s done more than pull his weight. We have the house because of him. Yeah, he screwed up, but since then he’s not only toed the line, he’s worked really hard.”

“He has,” Lana agreed. “He treats the cooking lessons like a science class, and that’s not a bad thing.”

Kim bent to pick up a thin, whiplike branch, swinging it idly as they walked. Restlessness pumped out of her.

“It’s kind of awful to say, but all this shit that’s happened? Freaking global plague, forced to adapt to survivalist mode? It could be the making of Shaun.”

“It’s going to make or break all of us.” They stopped and watched a herd of deer stream through the trees. “I’d worried some that the situation, the dynamics, would damage Max and Eric’s relationship. I still have moments when I can see Eric’s resentment, but he swallows it, does what needs to be done.”

“Max is the leader. Everybody knows it. Eric has more trouble with it, but he knows it, too.”

“For me, then Eddie, Max taking charge was just natural. The rest of you…”

Kim whipped her switch, shook her head. “Look, I could and would have told everybody we had to ration the supplies, go out, find more, make a plan. And I’d have gotten Poe on my side of that because he’s no idiot. But we wouldn’t have been able to get everyone in line. Still, Eric sort of took point on the way here, and he’s had to abdicate that role, you could say, since you and Max joined us.”

She glanced over at Lana. “And we have supplies, organization, a plan because you did. Allegra? She’s the princess, and Eric gets to be the knight. I guess it works for them. Where are they, anyway?”

“I don’t know. They weren’t in the house?”

“I didn’t see them, and the stuff they usually wear outside wasn’t in the mudroom.”

“They probably needed a walk, too. It is warming out, and the sun feels good. I guess we could get more snow, but I’m going to believe winter’s back is broken.”

“I want to see things growing again, make stuff grow again.” Kim tipped her face up, breathed in.

“An herb garden. It’s the first thing I want to do. I grew herbs in Chelsea, in pots on the windowsill. I wish I’d brought them with me.”