Нора Робертс - Year One

“Eric, it’s miles,” Allegra began.

“Only a little more than five,” Poe said easily. “According to Shaun.”

“I’ll hike down. Maybe they need a hand.”

“No. They haven’t been gone that long.” Lana added a glug of wine to the stockpot. “We’ll think about that if they’re not back in another hour.”

“Give me something,” Eric insisted. “Actions speak louder.”

“You’re on bringing in firewood today,” Lana reminded him, “and feeding the fires.”

“Right. I’m on it. And I’ll take kitchen cleanup tonight, whoever’s turn it is.”

He went back into the mudroom. Allegra bit her lip, then moved over to Lana as the outside door opened and closed.

“Honestly, Eric feels terrible. We both do.”

“You should. If Max and Eddie don’t find supplies, I have to cut portions, and even then we only have enough for a week at most.”

“I wish we could take it back. We can’t. Can I help you?”

“No. Thanks,” she added.

“Is there anything…”

Lana turned from the stove, looked Allegra in the eyes. “You can go up, bring down whatever you and Eric stashed in your bedroom.”

“Of course.” Visibly drooping, she went out.

“I know I was harsh, but—”

“I’d have been harsher,” Kim interrupted. “I know we’re all finding ways to get through. You cook, Poe pumps iron. I kick Poe’s sorry ass at Scrabble.”

“Hey.”

“I should’ve said hot and toned ass. Eddie’s got Joe, Max plans and figures.”

“Plans and figures?” Lana repeated.

“What to do, when and how to do it. What’s next, what’s needed. It’s why he’s in charge. It’s why we’re glad he is. Shaun—I know he screwed up—but he’s messed up about his parents and doesn’t want to show it. He’s scared, and doesn’t want to show it. He reads, he does puzzles, and he joneses because he can’t play vid games. If he could…”

“What?”

“I know it’s not essential or practical, but it’s therapeutic.” Kim smiled a little. “Like Scrabble. If Shaun could have an hour a day to fire up his Xbox, we could cut corners on fuel somewhere else. If you could ask Max—”

To cut Kim off, Lana held up a hand. It couldn’t, shouldn’t be all sacrifice, she thought. There had to be living, too.

“We don’t have to ask Max on everything. But I will tell him I think it’s a really good use.”

“Great. Good. I’m going to finish by saying we all find our ways, but Eric and Allegra are acting—most of the time—like this is some party and they’re a little bored with it, and us. So they get a little drunk, have a lot of sex, shrug off their assignments, have more sex.”

“Have they been?”

“Having sex?” Poe put in. Snorted. “Rabbits are awed.”

“No, shrugging off assignments.”

“Look, we’re not tattlers,” Kim began.

“Speak for yourself.” Poe jabbed a finger at Kim. “Yeah, most of the time. One of us gets it done because it’s not worth the trouble.”

“Party’s over,” Lana announced. “Everybody pulls weight, everybody follows the rules. And don’t make me feel like the damn den mother.”

Allegra walked back in, eyes damp, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She set opened bags of chips, cookies, some sodas, a bottle of wine on the counter.

“You can check our room. I swear this is all, but you can check.”

Lana said nothing, simply started to add the items to the inventory.

“I know it was stupid and selfish. It was childish. I’m sorry. I’m scared. I know I complain about being bored. I don’t know how I can be bored and scared at the same time, but I am.”

“We’re all scared.” The shrug in Kim’s voice didn’t offer much sympathy. “You get rid of boredom by doing something.”

“It’s easier for you— It is! You’re all stronger or smarter or just more capable. I’m trying. I swear, I’m trying. But it’s more, okay?”

She pressed her fingers to her eyes, swiped away the dampness. “I think I’m probably in love with Eric, but he scares me, too. He scares himself. What’s happening to him, it’s so much. It’s so much, and it’s so scary. Can’t you understand?”

Lana thought of the moment on the bridge in New York, that slap of power, and softened a little. “I can. Max and I can help Eric.”

“I know.” Allegra turned to Lana, looked at her as if Lana held all the answers. “Eric knows. He’s … Okay, he gets a little jealous and resentful of Max, but he’s trying. And honestly, I promise, I’m helping him, too. I can make him laugh, or think of something else, or just let him vent, right? It’s just, sometimes it’s so much to handle, you know? And I swear I’m doing everything I can to keep Eric, well, level. I know taking the food was wrong, but it distracted him. And it was fun. I’m ashamed to admit it, but it was fun and it distracted me, too. It’s so much to deal with, it’s all so big, and I’ve never had to deal with … Everything that’s happened, being here, cut off this way, what’s happening with Eric, and how I feel about it. All of it. I’m just scared, and I’m trying.”

She choked out a sob, covered her face with her hands. “Don’t hate me. Maybe I’m just not a nice person, maybe I don’t know how to do things like the rest of you, but I’m trying.”

“Okay.” Lana moved to her. “All right. But we all try together. And nobody hates you.”

Sniffling, Allegra wrapped her arms around Lana, held tight.

“You piss me off.” This time Kim offered a physical shrug, but kept her voice light. “But I don’t hate you. Much.”

On a watery laugh, Allegra drew away, breathed out. “Thanks, I really mean it. I’m just going to go up, pull myself together. Then I’ll come down and do something, like Kim said. I’ll do something.”

When Allegra left, Lana walked back behind the counter. “It’s hard,” she said. “All of this is hard. I guess we need to give one another a break now and then.”

“Sorry counts,” Poe added. “And I guess I didn’t really think about what it must be like to have all that power and stuff going on. You’d know more about it.”

“It’s a lot to handle. For those of us who do, and for those who don’t.”

Eric raced in with an armload of wood. “I can hear them. I heard them coming. It sounds like the truck. It sounds bigger than the car.”

“Thank God.” Grabbing a coat on the way, Lana ran outside.

* * *

Eddie drove the SUV, trying to pack the snow down further, to give Max and the truck better traction. They’d grabbed a couple of bags of sand from the gas place, laid them over the tailgate of the SUV so they spilled out sand—with Max’s witchy-woo help—along the road.

But it was rough going.

He knew Max pushed it—with his Craft—and still the truck labored. As the incline steepened, he gritted his teeth as if pushing the truck himself, until sweat rolled down his temples, the back of his neck.

“Come on, Max, come on.”

As he topped the incline, he saw the house. Felt a new flare of hope as Lana ran out. He saw some of the others sprint out after her.

“We’re going to do it.” Then in the rearview, he saw the truck slide a full yard back. “Fuck me!”

Lana threw out power, imagined it like a hook and chain, latching onto the truck, pulling it up the hill. Her heart hammered through a vicious tug-of-war, then she felt the chain snap tight and begin to pull.

“Help,” she snapped at Eric. “You can help.”

“Trying.” His face went white, his eyes dark. “It’s so damn heavy.”

“Try harder. Pull!”

Another foot, then another, then she felt, finally felt, Max’s power mate with hers. She focused all she had on the baby-blue truck with the big white barrel, with the man she loved inside.