Simon Green - Just Another Judgement Day

“If you wanted a professional private investigator, why didn’t you ask me?” I said, a bit put out.

“You’ve never been much of a team player, John,” Julien said kindly. “And to be honest, given your . . . family history, no-one in the Nightside is ever going to feel comfortable with you in charge.”

“He has a point,” said Suzie, leaning back lazily against the wall with her arms folded. “I’ll still shoot them all, though, if you like.”

“Maybe later,” I said. I can never tell when she’s joking about things like that. Maybe she can’t either. I indicated Walker, still standing politely off to one side. “What about him? Why isn’t he a part of the new Authorities? He’s got more experience in running the Nightside than all of you put together.”

“They asked me,” Walker said calmly. “I declined. My feelings about the Nightside are no secret, and I have to admit; my recent attempts at imposing some kind of order on the various Beings of the Street of the Gods...didn’t work out too well. I was called in to organise, regulate, and modernise all the various churches, religions, and Beings, but despite my best efforts, things . . . deteriorated quite rapidly. It’s not my fault the make-overs didn’t take. Worshippers can be so literal, and very stubborn. And then the Punk God of the Straight Razor got involved, and it all went to Hell in a hurry.”

“I remember that,” I said. “For a while you couldn’t move in some parts of the Nightside for Beings running out of the Street of the Gods, crying their eyes out.”

“Well, quite,” said Walker. “Either way, I feel I can best serve the interests of the Nightside as a functionary, not a decision-maker.” He smiled briefly. “Unless the new Authorities should prove unworthy or incompetent, in which case I will move in to shut them down.”

“You would, too, wouldn’t you?” I said. “Suddenly and violently and with malice for all.”

“It’s what I do best,” said Walker. “I have always found the possibility of sudden death tends to concentrate the mind wonderfully.”

The new Authorities gave every indication of being united for the first time, as they glared at Walker.

“Let’s get down to business,” I said. “You brought me here because of the Walking Man. Why don’t you people want him here? Would it really be so bad if he were to wipe out some of our more prominent scumbags and generally take out the trash?”

“This Walking Man tends to favour the scorched earth policy,” murmured Walker. “And bad as this place undoubtedly is... there are some things here worth preserving.”

I smiled. “You are mellowing, Walker.”

“Told you,” said Walker. “Terrible, isn’t it?”

“What exactly do we know for sure, about the Walking Man?” I said, looking round the table.

Julien Advent took the lead, as always. “Throughout history, there has always been the legend of the Walking Man. That once in every generation, a man can make a deal with God to become more than a man. He can swear his life to God, and if that man will swear to serve the Light and the Good with all his heart and all his will, forsaking all other paths, such as love or family or personal needs...then that man will become stronger, faster, and more terrible than any other man. He will be invulnerable to all harm, as long as his faith remains true and he walks in Heaven’s path. God’s will in the world, God’s warrior, the wrath of God in the world of men, sent forth to punish the guilty and stamp out evil wherever he finds it. Called the Walking Man because he will walk in straight lines to get where he has to go, and do what he has to do, and no-one will be able to stop him or turn him aside.”

“Some Walking Men have killed kings,” said Walker. “Some have overturned countries and changed the fate of the world. Others have followed more personal paths, clearing the world of evil one death at a time. Some stick to the shadows, some lead armies; and now one has come to the Nightside.”

“If some of them have been so important, why don’t I know their names?” I said.

“You probably do, if you think about it,” said Julien.

“Ah,” I said. “Like that, is it?”

“Mostly,” said Julien. “There have never been that many, down the centuries. Perhaps because no normal man would take such a deal, giving up love and friends and everything that makes life worth living.”

“They’re killers,” said Larry. “Cold-blooded, cold-hearted killers. Judge and jury and executioner. No mercy, no compassion, no pity.”

“And only he gets to decide what’s evil and what isn’t,” said Count Video. “He doesn’t care what the law has to say. He doesn’t have to. He answers to a higher power.”

“No shades of grey for the Walking Man,” said Annie. “Only stark black and white, all the way. You can see why so many people in the Nightside might be feeling a tad nervous, now that he’s here.”

“So as far as he’s concerned, just by being here we’re all guilty,” I said. “I can see why you thought you needed me.” I considered the matter for a while. “What do we know about the current Walking Man?”

“Nothing,” said Larry Oblivion. “Not even his real name. He’s invulnerable to all forms of remote viewing. We’ve tried science and sorcery, seers and oracles, and computers, gone cap in hand begging answers from important personages on all sides, and no-one knows anything. No-one wants to know anything. They’re all afraid of being . . . noticed. All we know for sure is that he’s on his way here. Hell, he could be here right now, walking our streets, and we wouldn’t know it till the bodies started piling up.”

“He punishes the guilty,” Jessica Sorrow said quietly. “And so many here are guilty of something.”

“But . . . if no-one can see him, what makes you so sure he’s coming?” I said.

“Because he told us,” said Annie.

“Sent me a very nice handwritten letter,” said Julien. “In my capacity as editor of the Night Times . Advising us of his purpose and intentions, and that he would be here within twenty-four hours. Which time is almost up. He wanted me to publish his letter, so everyone would know he was on his way and could put their affairs in order before he got here. Very considerate of him, I thought.”

“Yes,” I said. “You would. Are you going to publish his letter?”

“Of course!” said Julien. “It’s news! But... not just yet. We don’t need a panic. Or people taking advantage of the situation to settle old scores. We’re hoping you can . . . do something, before matters get out of hand.”

I looked around the table. “What, exactly, do you want me to do?”

“I would have thought it was obvious,” said Julien. “We want you to find the Walking Man and stop him from bringing death and destruction to the Nightside in general, and us in particular. He was quite clear in his letter that he intends to kill the new Authorities to send a message to the rest of the Nightside.”

“How am I supposed to stop the wrath of God?” I said. Not unreasonably, I felt.

Larry Oblivion smiled. “That’s your gift. We’re confident you’ll . . . find a way.”

I suppose I asked for that. “What’s the fee?” I said.

“One million pounds,” said Julien. “And...we’ll owe you.”

I nodded. “Sounds about right.” I looked from face to face. “You’re all powerful people. And you know even more powerful people. Some of them so powerful they aren’t people at all. So why put your faith in me?”

“Walker recommended you,” said Julien. “And you do have a reputation for winning out against impossible odds.”

“You of all people should know better than to believe everything you read in the papers,” I said. I sighed, heavily. “All right. But let us be very clear about this. What exactly do you mean, when you say you want me to stop him? Do you mean reason with him, overpower him, or kill him?”