Kelly Gay - The Better Part of Darkness

I released my teeth from my cheek, unsure of what to say, and sat on the toilet lid to give myself some time to form a response.

“And he misses us.”

If she hadn’t looked so calm and calculating, I would have pulled her into a hug. But this wasn’t a raw emotional moment. This was Matchmaking 101.

“Em,” I began, and then changed my tactic from what I was about to do, which was pretty much pat my daughter on the head and not address the real issue. No, I didn’t want to brush her off, nor did I want to play make-believe. She shoved her wild hair behind both ears. “Here, gimme your brush and I’ll fix it.” I waited for her to turn around and then dealt with the tangles. “Did he tell you to tell me all this?”

“No. But he’s sad and just misses us. I think you should give him a break, Mom.”

“Mmm,” I responded, not really knowing what to say. “All done.” I set the brush on the counter. The bathroom had begun to steam, so I flicked on the ex haust fan. “Go get your breakfast. We’ll talk about Dad later. Hey, maybe we’ll go to Varsity and get some hot dogs for dinner, okay?” She gave an impatient nod, my attempt at distracting her obviously failing miserably.

“You’ll think about it then?”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

She turned and hugged me with surprising strength, nearly choking me. “Love you.”

“Love you, too, kid.”

I remained on the toilet lid for a few more seconds, staring at the closed door and wondering how in the hell was I not going to disappoint her.

It was a mistake to jump back into things with Will right now, but would she understand that? She was bright, thoughtful, and so open with her feelings. The last thing I wanted was to destroy her optimism and make her a jaded little version of me.

Sighing and wishing I had a magical parenting manual with all the right answers, I stripped down and moved my stiff body into the shower, turning the knob to cool.

The weakness that came with sleep clung valiantly to me even under the cool spray of the shower, but soon my mind woke up and my movements became quicker as I lathered my skin with soap.

My body still felt the same, still looked the same, but inside I was different, changing, able to do things that no human should be able to do. Bryn’s words from the night before haunted me. I’d done some remarkable and horrible things, but I wasn’t facing them. I was forging ahead with the investigation and telling myself I’d deal with it later. Only, I knew myself well enough to know later would never come. Not if I could help it.

How had I become so good at avoidance?

It was the same with my past, avoiding thoughts of Connor and the guilt that plagued me. And it was the same with Will.

The pipes whined as I turned off the shower and then stepped from the tub. Any thoughts of Connor and Will were pushed aside. I had too much to deal with today, and I couldn’t get distracted. That could, quite possibly, get me killed.

After the shower, I crossed the apartment in a towel and my bare feet, speaking quickly to Bryn as she and Emma ate at the counter. “Just need to borrow some clothes.”

I heard Bryn say to Emma as I entered my sister’s bedroom, “Don’t have to worry about your mom borrowing anything nice. She always picks the most boring things I own.”

Emma giggled.

“I heard that!” I called over my shoulder as I scanned her closet. Sorry, Bryn, but today happened to be the day I actually needed something nice. And her tapered black knee-high skirt and matching black sweater tank with cardigan would do nicely. I even snagged a pair of reasonable pumps.

When I exited the room, Bryn choked on her orange juice. “Did someone die and I don’t know about it?”

Emma came out of the spare bedroom with her backpack. She stopped mid-stride and eyeballed me from toe to head. Then she turned to my sister. “That’s a little better than boring, right, Aunt Bryn?”

Bryn handed Emma her lunch bag. “Well, since they are my clothes, I’ll say yes. It’s a start.”

“Thanks a lot,” I told them both and then focused on my sister. “Do you have a glamour spell lying around? I don’t want anyone to recognize me. Something small should do, change of hair color, that sort of thing.”

“Sure. A batch just came in at the shop. Hold on a sec and I’ll get you one.”

The CPP political rally had decided to use the momentum of my case to garner more media attention. Not exactly what I needed if I was to avoid the jinn and sneak into the rally and try to confront Otorius and Mynogan. Finding the source of the ash was priority number one, and the only lead I had was the CPP.

After I parked the Mustang, I opened the foil package Bryn had given me and placed the small, paper-thin blue wafer onto my tongue. It dissolved instantly, making my eyes burn for a few seconds as an energetic tingle swept through my limbs to my fingertips and toes. Some of the residue hit the back of my throat, making me gag on a taste similar to Nyquil mixed with oregano.

As the party trick worked its magic, I gathered Bryn’s big black purse, with my firearms inside, checked the side mirror, and then walked my new blonde-headed, green-eyed self across the parking lot, heels clicking against concrete with quick, no-nonsense steps. For forty-nine bucks you, too, could change your look for an hour or two. Small price to pay for some. Thank God, glamour spells were short-lived, or law enforcement would have one hell of a problem identifying suspects and criminals.

My heart kept a steady beat against my rib cage as I moved toward the large crowd that had gathered in the outdoor venue of Centennial Plaza. A line of limos was parked nearby. The crowd was a mix of humans, jinn, goblins, imps, fae, and the occasional being from Elysia. Reporters from CNN, WSB-TV, 11ALIVE, FOX 5, and every other major news station in Atlanta were there. Maybe I should’ve brought along a pad and pen. Television cameras were set on either side of the stage as well as individual handhelds carried around by TV crews.

The black outfit soaked up the late morning sun. By the time I weaved my way through the crowd to get a front-row view of the stage, sweat beaded my brow and lower back.

The first speaker stepped onto the stage. The crowd jostled me forward. Otorius. For thirty minutes, I listened to him spout filth about the department and me in particular. It took everything I had not to vault onto the stage and arrest him simply for being an asshole.

The crowd added to the heat in the plaza, making me remove the cardigan and drape it over my arm. Maybe black wasn’t the best choice. I wasn’t Charbydon like many of those around me, in their jackets and coats. It made me hot just looking at them.

My sense of smell was unusually strong today. The races of Charbydon and Elysia had very distinct aromas, but they were normally only detectable up close and very personal. I guessed it was the crowd and the heat, but the unmistakable odor of tar covered me in a fine film.

The droning on and on of one distinguished member after another added layers of agitation and impatience. Several times I spied jinn bodyguards scanning the crowd in their jackets and dark glasses, hands behind their backs. But, so far, thanks to Bryn, not one had given me a second glance.

And then I noticed Cassius Mott standing on the edge of the stage, behind the blue curtain, talking to Otorius like they were old friends. His blasé attitude and cheesy grins made my blood boil. His kid was in the hospital and here he was hobnobbing with the CPP of all people? After years in law enforcement, it wasn’t that difficult to identify a drug user. And Cass had money and access and years of possession charges swept under the rug thanks to his brother’s close association with the ITF. But the fact that he was here, now, was a major red flag. The guy didn’t meddle in politics. I doubted he even knew the name of our governor.