Kelly Gay - The Better Part of Darkness

Relaxing my death grip on the sheet, I scrubbed both hands down my face to stir the blood flow and then rubbed my cold arms for warmth.

Concentrating on getting warm instead of being picked apart by good and evil allowed my blood pressure to return to some semblance of normalcy.

Then I closed my eyes, regulated my breathing as Doctor Berk had instructed, and pulled my feet inward until I sat cross-legged on the bed. My wrists rested on my knees. Mostly, I did this to calm down and push back all those images bouncing around my mind.

When I woke, especially the last few months, the sensation, something akin to strength or power, vibrated through my veins, making me feel as though my whole body hummed just a little. So I banked it, used the meditation to push all that good and evil shit aside and pull up my humanity. Me. Charlie Madigan. That was who I was. Not some weirdo walking dead person whose insides raged every damn night with images of darkness and light.

Once I had my mind under control, I glanced around my bedroom, drawn to the only light in the dark room. My alarm clock.

“Damn it!”

I had just enough time to get dressed and meet Hank for our trip to Underground.

Ten minutes later I stood in front of the full-length mirror and sighed. Well, this would have to do. My hair was down and messy from the nap, but finger-combing had gotten out the worst of the tangles. I had on the jeans and red V-neck T from earlier. I added faded brown cowgirl boots Bryn had given to me for my birthday last year and put a pair of gold hoops in my earlobes.

Full-blown makeup had never been my thing, so I washed my face, put on some lotion, let it dry, and then dusted my face with powder, added a little brown eyeliner, went heavy on the black mascara, and then applied some lipstick that matched my shirt. It made my lips look insanely obvious, like an overripe plum. I looked as though I was on the prowl for sex—not exactly what I had pictured wearing to The Bath House. But, the hell with it, maybe I’d get lucky. My reflection frowned back at me. Or not.

Downstairs, I pulled my old suede jacket from the closet, the faint scent of leather making me breathe in a little deeper. It was tailored to look like a short blazer, but it would hide my firearms, and it was light enough to keep me from overheating. Functional and stylish.

Headlights from Hank’s car flashed across the front window. I hit the inside light switch to off, turned the porch light on, grabbed my keys off the foyer table, and then slid my weapons into their holsters. I answered the door with one hand and tugged my hair from underneath the jacket with the other.

Hank’s large form hovered in the doorway, the serious expression on his handsome face going all cocky. “Hey, is Charlie here?”

I shook my hair out. “Ha, ha. You’re not funny.” I was becoming more and more convinced my daughter was getting her sense of humor from Hank.

A slow smile lit his face as he looked me up and down. “This may be the first time you’ve ever taken my advice. You look …” He paused, trying to find the right words.

“Like I just got out of bed?” I pulled the door closed, locked it, and then ushered him off the porch and down the driveway.

“No … I like it. It’s a good look on you.”

“It’s not a look . I just woke up. But I did do the lipstick for you, so we’re even about the whole oracle thing.”

He grabbed his chest and grinned at me over the hood of his shiny black Mercedes coupe. The street lamp highlighted the sparkle in his blue topaz eyes. “For me? You’re the best, Charlie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said dryly, opening the door and sliding into the supple leather passenger seat.

My spirits lifted, and the memory of my nightmare quietly slipped into the far recesses of my mind. Thank God for Hank. Thank God I hadn’t been partnered with a stiff. If there was anyone, besides Emma, who could change my mood for the better, it was Hank.

As soon as he backed out of the driveway and slid the gear into drive, I held out the matches. He grabbed them, holding them in front of the steering wheel so he could watch the road and take a look at the graphics. “Where’d you get these? Because I know you’ve never been there. Veritas is a members-only club. Most people who go to The Bath House, even regulars, don’t know it exists.”

“Exactly why we should crash the party.”

He winced. “No crashing. Subtle investigation. Come on, say it with me … Subtle investigaaa— Eh, forget it. Lost cause, I know.” He tossed the matches back to me. “How’d you get them?”

“Auggie. He gave them to me right before he died. Those guys that attacked us, they had to be the ones supplying the ash . Auggie was seriously spooked. I’d never seen him like that before. He said the drug is made from a Charbydon flower.”

He grabbed his cell and began texting.

I stiffened and grabbed the dashboard as his fingers flew over the smooth black keyboard. “I hate when you drive and do that.”

He smiled without looking at me. “I know.” He finished and then tossed the cell back into the empty cup holder. His speed verged on texting genius. “Research should be able to put together some possibilities. That might narrow things down a bit, give us some idea of where it’s grown, who could be making it.”

“My money is on the jinn.”

“Could be. Or could be they’re just the movers, not the source.”

Hank took a left onto Courtland as I glanced at the digital clock in the console. The Bath House was one street over from Bryn’s apartment above her shop on Mercy Street. But it was past ten now, and Emma would already be asleep. Still, I made sure my cell phone was loud enough to hear in case Bryn called and then I refastened it back on my belt.

“Oh, yeah, I stopped by the hospital,” Hank said on an afterthought, “to check on Amanda.”

“You did?” I gave his shoulder a good squeeze.

He shrugged, and I knew the ego was coming. “I know, I know. I’m just a well-rounded, sensitive guy.” He flicked on the right blinker to turn. “She’s still in a coma, but stable. Just like the others.”

I, on the other hand, felt horrible for not stopping by the hospital. I’d had every intention, but then there’d been Doctor Berk, stopping by the store, and then making it home in time to get Em off the bus. And, of course, Will had showed up.

“It’s not like there’s anything you can do for her, Charlie. She wouldn’t even know you’re there. And besides, from what we’re hearing about the ones who have woken up, it’s like being in a constant state of bliss.”

“Yeah, and now those same people are in a living hell. They can’t function, they’re dying. It’s more than withdrawal.” I stared at the glittering city lights, frustrated that we couldn’t help those people, that answers weren’t coming fast enough.

We rode the remainder of the way in silence, and I let my thoughts and gaze drift to the pulsating city, to the people and beings on the sidewalks and crosswalks, in cars and using the buses, entering and exiting shops and offices.

Atlanta was diverse before the Revelation, but now it was like a living, breathing Jackson Pollock painting; so many shades, so many vibrant colors all jumbled together on an ever-shrinking city canvas. Humans of every kind. Elysians of every race. Charbydons of every ilk. All on display right here beneath the hazy glow of city lights reflected against the night sky. It made me think of a huge cauldron, a witch’s brew where all of us, every ingredient, affected the next. And it boiled and bubbled, always moving, always growing, always needing to be fed and tended.

There was no denying that I thrived here; loved it here. I was meant to traverse this landscape and interact with its occupants. I was like one of those witches; playing her role, tending to the cauldron, to see that it didn’t grow cold or boil over.