Lili St Crow - Defiance

What could I say to that? Especially since my heart gave a huge painful leap. Somehow I crossed the space between us, and when I put my arms around him, he hugged me back. I didn’t smell his blood now. I just smelled him , that maddening apple-pie-and-male blend that yanked everything inside me sideways. It helped that when I laid my head on his chest I could hear his heartbeat going like a clock. Tick-tock, tock-tick, each beat strong and steady.

Right then it didn’t matter that he was like a twister, or that he was infuriating when it came to sparring, or that my shoulder still hurt. What mattered was the way he slumped against me, sighing a little, and the way I finally felt like I was . . . home. It mattered that he always came back for me, and it mattered that he’d said those things to me.

Nobody had ever said anything like that to me, ever.

That was the first time I ever really kissed him. As in, the first time I kissed him without waiting for him to try for me.

And it was great.

It was themiddle of the day, the long sleepy time when sunshine comes down like golden honey, and someone was shaking me awake. I wanted to roll over and stick my head under the pillow. The thought— it’s not time for school, leeme lone —was familiar because it’d hit me every morning when the alarm went off, no matter where in the country we were.

“Milady.” Nathalie, whispering fiercely. “Dru, please, wake up .”

I sat straight up, almost cracking my forehead against hers because she was bending down. She jerked back gracefully, and I got a good lungful of her perfume. She wore a strange musky blend from a little blue bottle, and it suited her. Right now, though, it had a weird coppery edge.

I know that smell. Fear.

“Christophe?” It was the first word out of my mouth. I blinked, rubbed at my eyes. “What the hell?”

“He’s gone. Benjamin is down the hall. It’s Ash.” Her dark eyes were wide, and her sleek hair was mussed. Just a little. “We’ll take you to him, Shanks and me. But hurry up. Please.”

I scrambled up out of the white bed. I’d fallen asleep in Christophe’s arms, still wearing Graves’s coat. Sometime during the night I’d shucked the coat and my jeans and crawled under the covers. I was hoping I’d done it while I was alone.

I grabbed for my jeans, but Nathalie was quicker. She hooked them up off the floor and shook her head. “Clean clothes. You never know. It’s not that urgent.”

“Benjy could come along any moment,” Shanks hissed from the door. He was in a gray T-shirt and comfortably ripped-around-the-knee jeans, but his dark hair stood up wildly in all directions. It was such a change from his usual emo-boy fringe I began to get a bad feeling. “He always checks when there’s a wulf on guard. Don’t trust us.”

Nat snorted. “She has time to get clean underwear on, Robbie. Jeez.”

I seconded that emotion, and I was damn glad I still had a T-shirt and panties on. I mean, it was just Shanks, but still.

“You’re such a girl .” He tensed, leaning toward the door and cocking his head as if he heard something.

“What’s going on with Ash?” I moved as quietly as I could toward the dresser.

“Best you come see.” Nathalie glided past me and in seconds had T-shirt, panties, and jeans in her capable hands. Today she was in a purple V-neck and a black scarf, and her jeans looked faintly tinged with purple, too. She even had purple Uggs, and they didn’t look ridiculous like they would if I was in them. “Hurry.”

I did. Three minutes later we were heading down the hall for the stairs, away from the end where Benjamin’s closed door glowered. I didn’t ask why we were slipping away like this. If Shanks thought there was a good reason, there was a good reason.

But where was Christophe?

We were on the stairs before I could ask. “Where’s Christophe?”

“Gone.” Shanks shrugged, hopping down the stairs two at a time. “He left before dawn. Most of the Council went with him. Think Leon went, too. Left me and Benjamin and the twins to stand watch over you. Then Ash started . . . well.”

“What’s going on with him?” I got no answer. “Nat?”

“You’ll have to see for yourself.” She brought up the rear, her footsteps silent. I was the only one making any noise, and not a lot of it. “He’s not dying, if that’s what you’re worrying about. At least, I don’t think he is.”

“Great.” I rubbed at my eyes, getting rid of sleep crusties. “And you don’t want Benjamin to know, because . . . ?” I could probably guess.

Shanks snorted. “Instinct. Christophe and the others left in a hurry. Something about a daylight run, gathering intel.”

I stopped dead. Nat bumped into me, got me going again. I hate being herded, but she managed to do it without irritating me. “A daylight run? Intel?”

“Yeah. A compromised site or something. Pretty hush-hush.” Shanks tossed me a look over his shoulder. “What do you think?”

I think they’re going after Anna. “Jesus.” A sick feeling began right under my breastbone. “I think I shouldn’t have said tomorrow .”

“Care to share? Just askin’.”

“Anna sent a note. And . . . something of Graves’s.” I brushed my hair back, wishing I’d thought to grab a ponytail elastic. I realized in the middle of the motion that I didn’t want to show the earring, and let the curls fall back down.

“Shit.” Shanks didn’t speed up, but he did put his head down.

I am just going to kill Christophe. I concentrated on not tripping down the stairs. He’d been so nice last night, holding me, not saying much. Just being there, until I finally fell asleep. And I’d been grateful.

I was pretty prepared to find Ash howling and battering at the walls of his room. The plain concrete-and-stone hall was silent, though.

Silent as the grave.

I wished I hadn’t thought that, swallowed hard. “Is he—”

There was a sound from inside the cell. A scraping crackle, as if he was trying the change again. My heart sped up, a high hard hummingbird beating against my ribs.

Nat handed me a thick brown elastic. “I heard it when I checked him, about ten minutes ago. Take a look.”

“You’ve been checking him?” I got my hair pulled sloppily back and stepped up to the door.

“Of course I have.” She said it like, Are you stupid? I decided not to ask.

The observation slit gave off a gleam—daylight, from a small, thickly barred window high on the opposite wall. I went up on tiptoes, grabbed the edge of the slit, and hauled myself up to take a look.

There wasn’t much to see. Ash lay on the floor, shaking like he was having a seizure. Fur roiled, his spine arched, and he clawed at the stone floor. There were deep slices crisscrossing it—he’d been scratching for a while. The patches of white skin were growing. Each time the fur crawled back up to reclaim him, it was beaten back.

I dropped back down, lunged for the key. Shanks grabbed at it, but he was too slow, for once. “Wait a second—”

“He’s changing back!” I yelled, fumbling with the key. “This is great , he’s actually changing back!”

“We don’t know that yet. He could hurt you, Dru, he ain’t rational right now!”

“He’s never been exactly rational.” I shoved the key into the hole, twisted it. The lock gave with a slight groan. I wrenched the door open, just as I realized I couldn’t hear the crackling anymore.

Oh please, no. I peered into the dimly lit cell, pushed the door a little wider, and slipped inside. It was too late to back out now, so I made it across the cell to where he lay, ready to jump back if he started looking like he was going to claw at me. Thick silence swallowed everything inside the cell, and I half-bent, my fingers out, meaning to touch him.