Kristie Cook - Purpose

“Stop it!” he hissed, stiffening, and with a blur of movement too fast to even see, he stood on the other side of the room. “Down to business, Alexis. You are almost done with your book, and I need to stop you from finishing. You have exposed enough of our truths.”

How would he know…? “Y-y-you have to be a dream. Only a few people know how this last book is going and that it’s almost done.”

“Think about it, foolish one. There are some of us who can fool humans, immerse ourselves into their world. You have met a few. So even you can see we could have someone working at a certain publishing company?”

I stared at him, shaking my head, trying to make it all go away. This was nonsense, Swirly screwing even with my dreams now. Wake up!

“This is my last warning, Alexis. Our last warning. Not one more word. Do you understand?”

I shook my head slightly. I didn’t really mean to contradict him. The movement was more about denying this whole…situation.

“You’re not real,” I whispered. Again, not to challenge him. I was trying to convince myself. With barely a sound, I added, “Go away.”

Of course, he didn’t obey. Instead, he let out a dreadful, harsh bark, a humorless laugh.

“Go away? Yes, you would want that. I would, too, you know. I would much rather be spending my time on something I could have. But, for now, anyway, I can only play. You must know there are many ways my friends and I can torture you…ways to hurt you without ever providing the relief of death. You are, after all, telling the entire human race about us.”

“But I’m off limits,” I blurted nonsensically, my dream-self confusing vampires with the real monsters of my life. Daemoni were prohibited from killing Amadis royalty unless Provoked, as in official Provocation.

“Hmm. And you are supposed to be so intelligent.” He narrowed his eyes and glared at me in silence for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was low and his words came slowly and deliberately, as if I were too stupid to understand basic concepts. “It is simple, Alexis. Exposing us makes anything justifiable. One more page, one more paragraph, one more word in that damn book of yours and play time will be over. Do you understand now?”

I couldn’t answer. Again, I wanted to scream to wake myself up. But this nightmare had become one of those where you can’t move, speak or even breathe. I wondered if a lack of air would finally force my body awake.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” He stood right in front of me again, the cold breath raging against my face, blowing my hair back. I still couldn’t move, not even for a breath. His voice lowered with the next question, nearly a whisper, but more frightening to me than anything else. “You really do not want us coming after your family, now do you, Alexis?”

Then he stiffened and his head twitched. His narrow nostrils flared. He turned his head to his left, his eyes shifting over his shoulder toward the door. He let out a soft growl from deep in his chest.

And then he was gone.

I didn’t know how long I sat there, how much time had passed since I’d taken a breath. It felt like hours. I didn’t know where he disappeared to and I didn’t know if he would come back. I still hadn’t woken up, so the nightmare wasn’t over.

But I’d surely wake up and not let myself suffocate. Right? WAKE UP!

I decided to take a short, shallow breath, trying not to move too much, in case even the slightest movement brought him back. The brief flow of air felt like new life to my burning lungs. I couldn’t help but take another, longer draw. It was ragged, but satisfying. I focused on counting my breaths, trying to keep them slow and steady.

One.

Two.

Three.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I nearly fell out of my chair. My breath caught again and my heart returned to its flurried pace. Someone was at the door. Is it real or part of the dream? It was one of those sounds where you’re just not sure. If it was real, it didn’t wake me up. My subconscious incorporated the noise.

The vampire had sensed something. He knew someone was coming. Was it my knight-in-shining-armor? If my hero banged on the door, there was only one person I’d want it to be. I was glad I hadn’t woken up yet.

The door flew open and hit the wall with another bang.

“Alexis!” Such a beautiful voice. “Alexis! Are you all right?”

As the voice came into the room, I realized it wasn’t the one I wanted to hear. It sounded familiar. Nice. But it didn’t belong to who I wanted.

Is this some kind of cruel joke? Is my subconscious trying to replace him? Tears welled in my eyes. I’m not ready to replace him. This is my dream. Why can’t it be the way I want it?

Instead, Owen’s voice rang into the room. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head, biting my lower lip to keep it from trembling. I couldn’t feel the pain from the bite, though. I wished I could—it would wake me up.

I sensed Owen kneel down in front of me, trying to get a good look at my face. I squeezed my eyes tightly. Stupid dream. Why can’t I just wake up?

“Alexis, are you okay?” he asked again. “I sensed Daemoni.”

“I-I’m fine,” I finally answered, my voice tiny.

“You don’t look fine.”

“It was just…” Oh, what does it matter? This stupid dream wasn’t going anywhere now because the wrong hero came. “It was nothing.”

“Well, if you’re okay in here, I’ll go check everything out.” I felt him move away, heard his steps as he crossed the room.

Is he really coming back? Can he just turn into the one I really want? That happens in dreams. People change into other people. Please? I didn’t know who I begged. I guessed my deranged subconscious, which liked to torture me and knew exactly how to do it.

Bizarrely, like a dream within a dream, I heard my mother’s voice from many years ago, as we drove from some city to another. She’d just broken up with yet another man. “Don’t ever let them know your buttons. If they know your buttons, they’ll push them every time.”

My subconscious seemed to know exactly which buttons to push. Of course, it’s not like I could hide my buttons from myself. I just had to deal with the torture.

“Everything looks fine,” Owen said, returning to me. Yep, still had to deal with it. “Do you think you’ll be okay?”

I nodded and said quietly, “I’m so tired. I just want real sleep.”

I lay my head on the desk. Would I simply continue sleeping here? Couldn’t I wake up long enough to get to the bed? Or was I already in bed? I tried to stand up. I nearly fell back down, my legs wobbly and weak.

“Whoa,” Owen said, catching me.

I refused to look at him as he picked me up. His arms were hard and strong. I kept my eyes closed and tried to pretend he was the one I wanted. It’s just a dream anyway, so it should be easy, right? The illusion came easier than I’d expected. A slight electrical current prickled where his arms touched my shoulders and the backs of my knees. As he carried me into the bedroom, I could even imagine the scent of mangos and papayas, lime and sage and a hint of man. I wanted to bury my face into his chest. But I worried my subconscious would turn everything around and I’d end up dreaming I fell into bed with… Nope. Not going there.

“I’ll stay here for a while, make sure you’re okay,” Owen said. He leaned over and I felt the soft bed under me.

“No, you don’t—”

“It wasn’t a question. I’ll keep watch. You just get some rest.” I felt his lips press briefly against the top of my head. I kept my eyes tightly shut, afraid my subconscious might see that button—the bright one that flashed between “Possibility” and “Nearly as Good.” But I felt the movement as he stood back up and then heard his soft steps on the thick carpet as he headed toward the door. Part of me didn’t want him to leave. But I was afraid of what might happen…of the possibilities. Not replacing him!