P. Hoover - Solstice

“Who cares? What time does your mom go to bed?”

“Nine o’clock,” I say before I can stop myself.

“Perfect. Friday night. Sneak out once she’s asleep.” Then he gives me a final look, but instead of conveying adventure, his eyes are peeling me apart layer by layer starting with my clothes. I shift under his gaze, but don’t turn away. And then he turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

It takes me a good five minutes to be able to think about anything else. Reese is gone, and all that’s left are dead leaves scattered around my feet. I play the conversation over again in my mind, thinking I’ve missed some vital part of it. But it’s all there. Reese wants me to hang out with him—alone. And without even really meaning to, I think I’ve agreed. Which just can’t be. Chloe wants to date him.

I rub my hand over my arm again, feeling each Greek letter of the tattoo underneath, until Reese’s presence is gone. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and rub it on my shirt, and I grab a broom and a dustpan and start cleaning up the mess.

When my mom finally comes home, I start for the stairs. I want her take on the news conference from this afternoon. But I stop when I see her sniff the air and look around. Can she smell Reese? Just thinking about him draws the intoxicating scent back into my nostrils though I try to ignore it. She starts toward the counter, taking one slow step after another, eyes alert. Past where she walks, fresh dead leaves drop to the ground. Maybe it’s the news conference that’s got her upset. Or maybe it’s my tattoo. Or maybe she somehow knows a guy’s come over to visit.

After what seems like an eternity, she moves away from the counter and starts back to her work. I watch for a few minutes as she begins her routine, spraying leaves and packing in dirt. But she doesn’t say anything and doesn’t even call out to me. Maybe it’s not such a good time to ask her about the council meeting, so I tiptoe away. When she finally comes upstairs, she heads right for her room, shutting the door behind her. She doesn’t offer to comb my hair or even say good night. She’s never been this mad at me before. I’m sure she’ll tell me we’re moving in the morning. That I’ll be homeschooled until I graduate. That I’ll never see Chloe again. My eyes fill with tears.

I think about calling Chloe, but decide against it. I don’t want to tell her about Reese asking me out. Not just yet. I’ll tell her tomorrow in person. I get up and move to the window, looking out at the blackness of the sky. Even in the dark, the clouds are thick, and the promise of rain hangs in the air. Rain which is something we desperately need but causes flooding every time it comes because of the hard-packed ground.

Out back are greenhouses I spend hours reading and taking naps in. And our nearest neighbors are Randy Conner’s family a quarter of a mile away. But when it’s dark like this, the greenhouses and the neighbors fade into black, and it’s like we’re the only people in the world.

I lift the screen so it’s just me and the darkness, and I let the heat pour through me, inhaling the humidity. Wondering if another heat bubble will really come and suffocate the city.

And then I feel someone watching me.

I peer down into the darkness, but with the trees growing beyond control in our eternal summer, I can’t see anything. But I know I’m not wrong. Someone is out there.

My mind shifts to Shayne. He’d been pushed to the back of my mind when Reese was here earlier. But now, with the memory of Reese fading, Shayne begins to resurface. He’s a total mystery. I’ve spoken so little to him but have this burning desire to get to know him better. Like the red specks in his eyes hold secrets he wants to share with me. I want the eyes out in the darkness to be his. I want him to beckon me out in the darkness. I imagine he touches me, and I don’t stop him. I want to find someone I can be with forever, and I wonder if Shayne is the one. Or is it Reese? A shiver runs down me when I think about him, and I don’t try to force it away.

As quickly as it came, the presence vanishes, leaving me once again alone with the darkness of the night. I shake my head. Whoever was out there is gone. And I’m left with only my daydreams.

I head to my bed, but a slip of paper on the nightstand catches my eye. I pick it up, unfolding it, and then hold my breath.

I read the letter three times through until the paper is shaking so hard, I can’t see the words anymore. My father. He’s found us. He’s been searching for us since he broke out of prison, and now he finally knows where we are. He’s come into our house. Come into my room. He could come back at any time, even when I’m here. Dread punches me in the stomach as I think about it.

I fold the paper and prepare to head to my mom’s room and tell her, but I stop when my hand touches the doorknob. My mom isn’t talking to me. She’s upset about my tattoo. And if that upsets her, this letter from my father will push her over the edge. My pseudonormal life will end. Right here and now.

It frightens me way more than the letter from my terrorist father.

I tear the letter into tiny little pieces, wash it down my sink, and head to bed. I hope for sleep to take over, but my brain seems to have a different idea. I wish for dreams of mysterious guys, but my night is sleepless. Girls with empty eye sockets fill my mind. Heat bubbles smother the city. And when I try to imagine my father, he has no face.

The next day I walk into Social Sciences, but my heart sinks when I see Shayne’s not there. I head to my normal seat and sit down, forcing myself not to look at the vacant seat next to me. At least today, I’m on time; my mom hasn’t called me all day, which gives me a weird feeling of guilt mixed with independence.

I catch movement near the door out of my peripheral vision; it’s him. I stare straight ahead and pretend I haven’t noticed, which is about as easy as pretending I’m blind. My heart is pounding, but I look directly ahead.

Please let him sit next to me. It’s a silent prayer, and I’m not sure whom I’m even praying to, but whoever it is doesn’t listen. Shayne sits far to the left against the wall. My face burns, but I try to keep any sign of emotion off it. The last thing I want is him thinking I am looking for him, which I am; let’s face it. When I dare to glance over, he’s not even looking at me. Instead, he’s staring straight ahead with a look on his face like he wants to kill someone.

Mr. Kaiser starts the lecture by talking about the missiles. He’s been in contact with the members of the International GHC Committee who have conclusive proof that each time a missile is detonated, it strips a thin layer from the atmosphere. He tells us he’s written a letter to the city council and encourages us each to do the same. But given Councilman Rendon’s attitude, I doubt a letter will have much impact.

Mr. Kaiser then makes us come up with reasons why Earth is in a crisis state, but the sad fact is no one really knows. Sure, there are plenty of theories, but they’re only that. Theories. None are proven, and there are new ones every day. The fact is winter has stopped coming. Leaves never fall from trees. The earth is in a dying cycle of drought and flooding with sea levels rising around the world. I’ve heard summer used to be a good thing. But all I’ve ever seen it as is a death sentence for Earth.