Kinsey Holley - KISS AND KIN

«God help me,» he groaned.

He rolled over on top of her, and for a minute she was squished into the crack of the couch. A second later, she was on her back, Taran braced on his elbows above her. She gave a throaty, contented sigh, dug her fingers into his biceps, and raised her hips to open herself to him, wrapping her long legs around his waist. He dove into her with a mighty groan, and when he began to move inside her, she threw her arms around his neck, crushing his mouth to hers, loving the feel of his tongue thrusting in her mouth as his cock thrust into her slick passage.

She didn't come that time, but she didn't care. She couldn't help the tears. If he noticed them, he didn't say so.

I have to tell her tonight, he thought on the way home from work Friday.

She might go psycho on him at first, but once he explained it to her, made it clear she didn't owe him anything and she could take all the time she needed, she'd understand. He tried to tell her last night. She'd want to know why he didn't try harder. He'd never confess the humiliating truth-

simple fear.

After years of silent yearning, his self-control had hardened into a barrier of tempered glass.

Almost losing her put a sizeable chip in that glass, and the cracks had steadily spread. Last night, the flick of her tongue across his palm shattered the whole goddamned thing. He'd needed her too much, and for too long, to say anything to make her pause.

He wouldn't apologize for what he couldn't regret.

As soon as he turned onto his street, he saw Nick's Range Rover sitting in his driveway.

He hadn't told his Alpha about last night; he didn't know if Lark talked to TJ or anyone else.

Nick, don't say anything. Help a wolf out, Alpha.

Surely, she'd understand. She acted as if she loved him. She could handle it. Together they'd figure out how to tell the family.

When he walked into the silent living room, he knew how badly he'd fucked up.

Nick stood looking out the sliding glass doors with his hands crammed in his pockets, apparently fascinated with something in the back yard. But Taran knew his best friend of twenty years better than that. The set of his jaw, his heavy-lidded gaze, his ramrod posture instead of his customary insouciant slouch all indicated the alpha's anger.

Lark huddled in the love seat with her head down and her arms wrapped around her knees. She didn't look up when he walked in.

After an agonizing minute of silence, Nick turned to him and said quietly, «I dropped by to talk to you about Kuba. Lark was here. As soon as I realized she was yours, I told her how happy it made me, for both of you. She didn't know what I was talking about. Taran-what the fuck were you thinking, wolf?»

He cleared his throat, started to answer, and found he had no words. A dull roaring sound filled his ears. He stared at Nick, silently begging for a life ring. Nick returned the stare with an expression part ire and part sorrow. It seemed to acknowledge yes, he could see Taran drowning but no, he couldn't-wouldn't?-pull him out.

Taran turned to look at his mate. His mate, whose scent he still wore, whose skin he still tasted, who'd come so sweet and frantic in his arms only this morning and wouldn't look at him now.

«Lark? I meant to talk to you tonight about this-« «You claimed me?» She finally raised her head to look at him, her face streaked with tears. «You claimed me, and you didn't tell me? You bonded to me without telling me. How long have you known I'm your mate, Taran?»

He'd expected anger, but the anguish in her voice stunned him.

«How long?» she shouted.

«Three years,» he said quietly.

«Three years,» she whispered. «Three years.» She nodded, looked up at the ceiling, back at him.

«Three years. You've known for three years, and you never said anything. Three years you've treated me like you treated me all my life, either ignoring me or criticizing me, and you never bothered to mention that I'm your fucking mate.» Her voice got louder and harder with each word.

She uncurled and put her feet on the floor, hugging herself tightly and leaning forward. In a voice so full of contempt he flinched she said, «What changed your mind, Taran? What made you decide it was time to fuck me?»

He gaped at her. «What are you talking about? That's not what happened-« «It's not? You didn't plan last night?»

«How could I plan that? You think I wanted that to happen?»

«What, you didn't?»

«Yes! But, but-no, I mean-goddamn it, Lark!» He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it in frustration as he began to pace. «I've thought about it for years, but I never did anything because-

because it was you, and it seemed wrong, and I thought-I thought there was no way, I'm like your big brother, and half the time you hated me-« «I never hated you-« «And I'd never be able to explain it to Myall, or Mom or David, but then last night happened, and, and-« «And and what?» she mocked.

He spun around to advance on her, pointing a finger. «I didn't rape you, Lark. I asked you if you wanted to stop and you said no. You wanted it as much as I did, every time last night and this morning. You still remember this morning, don't you?»

She blushed furiously. Belatedly he remembered Nick behind him, witnessing all of this. Lark sprang to her feet, arms still crossed tightly against her chest, hunching her shoulders the way she did whenever she got angry or sad or scared, just as she'd done ever since she was a little girl.

«No, I haven't forgotten anything,» she snarled. «Have you forgotten all the times last night and this morning you could have stopped to say 'oh by the way, Lark, you're my mate, and now I'm bonded to you for life, and every wolf who sees you will know you belong to a wolf and if you don't spend the rest of your life with me I'll be alone and, and'-fuck you, Taran! I thought you wanted me!»

«Are you crazy?» he exploded. «Of course I want you! I've always wanted you!»

«Yeah, because I'm your mate! How long have you been waiting for a chance to claim me?»

Could she act any crazier? This made no sense at all.

«Shut the fuck up and listen to me! That's what I'm trying to tell you-I never planned to claim you, I never planned to fuck you, last night just happened, and once it started I couldn't stop it-I didn't want to stop it-neither did you! I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't think of a way to say it, and I decided to tell you when I got home tonight.»

«Really?» she sneered. «Last night and this morning, even when we were making love, you never looked me in the eye-you're telling me that was a coincidence? You didn't want me to realize I could look you in the eye because then I'd know, and you didn't want me to know!»

«I wanted you to find out the right way-« «The right way was before you seduced me!»

«Seduced you?» he roared. «You think I seduced you?

I can't stop, Lark. I don't want you to.

I can't believe you're inside me.

As he remembered last night-Lark's sighs, her moans and her kisses, her fierce satisfaction in knowing what she did to him-he almost wanted to throw himself at her feet and beg her forgiveness. He almost thought he'd do anything to make it right, to make it like it was this morning when they kissed goodbye after making love one more time in his bed.

Almost, but not quite.

An alpha didn't grovel, not even to his mate, especially when he'd done nothing wrong and she was behaving like a spoiled child.

«You think you're some kind of victim here? Grow up, Lark.» He hadn't meant to shout, but he didn't care if it scared her. She acted as if he'd forced her, or tricked her, into making love with him. Bullshit. They'd thrown themselves into the fire with equal abandon, and he wouldn't let her forget it.