Joanne Rowling - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

ALBUS: Yes, I stole this from James. He’s remarkably easy to steal from; his trunk combination is the date he got his first broom. I’ve found the Cloak made avoiding bullies . . . easier.

SCORPIUS nods.

I’m sorry — about your mum. I know we don’t talk about her enough — but I hope you know — I’m sorry — it’s rubbish — what happened to her — to you.

SCORPIUS: Thanks.

ALBUS: My dad said — said that you were this dark cloud around me. My dad started to think — and I just knew I had to stay away, and if I didn’t, Dad said he would —

SCORPIUS: Your dad thinks the rumors are true — I am the son of Voldemort?

ALBUS (nods) : His department are currently investigating it.

SCORPIUS: Good. Let them. Sometimes — sometimes I find myself thinking — maybe they’re true too.

ALBUS: No. They’re not true. And I’ll tell you why. Because I don’t think Voldemort is capable of having a kind son — and you’re kind, Scorpius. To the depths of your belly, to the tips of your fingers. I truly believe Voldemort — Voldemort couldn’t have a child like you.

Beat. SCORPIUS is moved by this.

SCORPIUS: That’s nice — that’s a nice thing to say.

ALBUS: And it’s something I should have said a long time ago. In fact, you’re probably the best person I know. And you don’t — you couldn’t — hold me back. You make me stronger — and when Dad forced us apart — without you —

SCORPIUS: I didn’t much like my life without you in it either.

ALBUS: And I know I’ll always be Harry Potter’s son — and I will sort that out in my head — and I know compared to you my life is pretty good, really, and that he and I are comparatively lucky and —

SCORPIUS (interrupting) : Albus, as apologies go this is wonderfully fulsome, but you’re starting to talk more about you than me again, so probably better to quit while you’re ahead.

ALBUS smiles and stretches out a hand.

ALBUS: Friends?

SCORPIUS: Always.

SCORPIUS extends his hand, ALBUS pulls SCORPIUS up into a hug.

That’s the second time you’ve done that.

The two boys break apart and smile.

ALBUS: But I’m pleased we had this argument because it’s given me a really good idea.

SCORPIUS: About what?

ALBUS: It involves the second task. And humiliation.

SCORPIUS: You’re still talking about going back in time? Have we been having the same conversation?

ALBUS: You’re right — we are losers. We’re brilliant at losing and so we should be using our own knowledge here. Our own powers. Losers are taught to be losers. And there’s only one way to teach a loser — and we know that better than anyone — humiliation. We need to humiliate him. So in the second task that’s what we’ll do.

SCORPIUS thinks — for a long time — and then smiles.

SCORPIUS: That’s a really good strategy.

ALBUS: I know.

SCORPIUS: I mean, quite spectacular. Humiliate Cedric to save Cedric. Clever. And Rose?

ALBUS: That I’m saving as a sparkly surprise. I can do it without you — but I want you there. Because I want us to do this together. Set things right together. So . . . Will you come?

SCORPIUS: But, just a minute, isn’t — wasn’t — the second task took place in the lake, and you’re not allowed to leave the school building.

ALBUS grins.

ALBUS: Yes. About that . . . We need to find the girls’ bathroom on the first floor.

RON is walking down the staircase, consumed in his thoughts, and then he sees HERMIONE and his expression changes entirely.

RON: Professor Granger.

HERMIONE looks across, her heart leaps a bit too (though she won’t admit it).

HERMIONE: Ron. What are you doing here?

RON: Panju got in a little trouble in Potions class. Was showing off, of course, and put the wrong thing with the wrong thing and now he has no eyebrows and a rather large mustache, apparently. Which doesn’t suit him. I didn’t want to come but Padma says that when it comes to facial growths, sons need their fathers. Have you done something with your hair?

HERMIONE: Just combed it, I suspect.

RON: Well . . . Combing it suits you.

HERMIONE looks at RON slightly strangely.

HERMIONE: Ron, will you stop looking at me like that?

RON (summoning confidence) : You know, Harry’s boy Albus — said to me the other day that he thought you and I were — married. Ha-ha. Ha. Ha. Ridiculous, I know.

HERMIONE: Very ridiculous.

RON: He even thought we had a daughter. That’d be strange, wouldn’t it?

The two lock eyes. HERMIONE is the first to break away.

HERMIONE: More than strange.

RON: Exactly. We’re — friends, and that’s all.

HERMIONE: Absolutely. Only — friends.

RON: Only — friends. Funny word — friends . Not that funny. Just a word really. Friends. Friend. Funny friend. You, my funny friend, my Hermione. Not that — not my Hermione, you understand — not MY Hermione — not MINE — you know, but . . .

HERMIONE: I know.

There’s a pause. Neither of them move the smallest inch. Everything feels too important for movement. Then RON coughs.

RON: Well. Must get on. Sort Panju out. Teach him the finer arts of mustache grooming.

He walks on, he turns, he looks at HERMIONE. She looks back, he hurries on again.

Your hair really does very much suit you.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL is onstage on her own. She looks at the map. She frowns to herself. She taps it with her wand. She smiles to herself at a good decision made.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: Mischief managed.

There’s a rattling.

The whole stage seems to vibrate.

GINNY is the first through the fireplace, and then HARRY.

GINNY: Professor, I can’t say that ever gets more dignified.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: Potter. You’re back. And you seem to have finally ruined my carpet.

HARRY: I need to find my son. We need to.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: Harry, I’ve considered this and decided I want no part of it. Whatever you threaten, I —

HARRY: Minerva, I come here in peace, not war. I should never have spoken to you that way.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: I just don’t think I can interfere in friendships and I believe —

HARRY: I need to say sorry to you and sorry to Albus, will you give me that chance?

DRACO arrives behind them with a bang of soot.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: Draco?

DRACO: He needs to see his son, and I need to see mine.

HARRY: Like I say — peace — not war.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL studies his face; she sees the sincerity she needs to see. She takes the map back out of her pocket. She opens it up.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: Well, peace is certainly something I can be part of.

She taps it with her wand.

(Sighs.) I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.

The map is lit into action.

Well, they are together.

DRACO: In the girls’ bathroom on the first floor. What on earth would they be doing there?

SCORPIUS and ALBUS enter a bathroom. In the center of it is a large Victorian sink.