John Burkitt - Chronicles of the Pride Lands

“The collar, ” she said. “I was tied to a tree with a rope. That’s something like a vine, but stronger.”

“Then he was cruel to you?”

“No, but his dog was. One day name calling was not enough, and the whelp did this to me.” She turned her scar to face Taka. “I killed him. That’s why the man drove me away. But I do not forget that he saved my life, so I named my first born Edward.”

“You have saved my life. I’m not sure I could work up the nerve a second time.” He looked at her pleadingly. “Please do not drive me away.”

"Your troubles aren't not so bad, ” she said. “Many lions come through this just fine. Someday you will find security and love."

"But I already had, or I thought I did. You don't know how I have suffered."

"When you have eaten, tell me."

Taka attacked the carcass with desperation, but after the first few bites took the edge off his hunger, his wisdom took over. He stopped while there were still some choice portions and insisted that Fabana finish it.

“My father, Ahadi—you’ve heard about him, haven’t you?”

“He’s the Lion King, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“That makes you the Prince then?” She gasped.

“No, Prince Consort.”

“Oh, that explains a lot.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think a prince would want to kill himself. I take it you don’t get along with your brother?”

“Actually I like my brother. He’s not very clever, but his heart is in the right place.”

She clucked her tongue. “Then that leaves one possibility. You have a girl. I bet she’s stiffed you for the Prince, hasn’t she?”

“No.” He had quickly denied it, but it didn’t seem that impossible. “This isn’t just any lioness and it isn’t just another girl problem.”

“That’s what they all say.”

“Yes, but there’s a curse behind this. Evil spirits. Makedde was treating me for this eye problem when his brother Rafiki tried to tell my future.”

“Rafiki! ” She stopped eating. “Lord, honey, you just got to tell me all about this. Evil spirits you say? A curse?”

For well on an hour or more he poured out his heart to her, and as he did, he watched her nod her head gravely once in a while. It made him cry to tell it, but they were tears of healing, and he felt much better.

Out of lion manners, he waited to hear her story. But she would not talk of herself much. One thing she would say—Jalkort, the father of her cubs was dead, killed unjustly for the murder of the Princess Avina. “He ate after she had died, but of all the foolish things he’s done, he did not murder your Aunt. Someday I must face the King and plead his case.”

“Though he is already dead? What will you accomplish?”

“He was my husband.”

“You are a romantic, ” Taka said, kissing her cheek. “If I was in trouble, I wouldn’t mind having you on my side. Perhaps I can arrange a meeting.”

Fabana felt compassion for Taka and taught him all of the pass phrases and signs that would let him pass safely through her lands. But most importantly, she gave him some advice that would change his path forever. "I know the mandrill of which you speak. He told my fortune too. He said that I would meet friends in unexpected places, but they would turn on me in my hour of need. You have not turned on me. My advice is to forget the prophesy--it is a piece of nonsense that has cost you dearly. Apologize to your lover. Kiss your mother. Make your father proud of you. And remember old Fabana. If you do become King someday, teach your children that we all have a heart and soul under our different hides.” She pulled her pups close to her. “Lift the ban for their sakes."

Sarabi was in tears when Mufasa found her. He nuzzled her affectionately and turned to face her when she looked away. "Sassie, tell me about it."

"It's Taka. He's gone."

"What do you mean by gone?"

"Gone. He's left the Pride Lands. He begged me to come with him, and I thought about it. Now I wish I had. He's out there alone, Muffy! He's kind and gentle, but he doesn't know a thing about life in The Big World."

It came as a complete surprise to Mufasa, though he believed her at once. "Did he say where he was going?"

"No. He just left."

"Sassie, don't cry. I know how much you love him. We all love him. Maybe when he cools off, he'll come home."

"Do you think so? Do you really think so?"

"Yes. But it may be a long while. He's a proud lion."

She looked down. "What will I do? I always thought it would be Taka and I--just the two of us and our cubs. What's left for me? I will grow old alone and unloved like poor Barata."

Mufasa felt a lump gathering in his throat. "Sassie, I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to sound awful under the circumstances." He looked her in the eyes. "I didn't want to get in my brother's way. But things have changed, and I have to say this or I'll burst."

"Is it what I think it is?"

"Probably." He nuzzled her gently. "Oh gods, Sassie, I feel like such a wretch! Like the lowest thing that ever crawled out from under a stone. But I love you. I've always loved you. There were times I would have given anything if you loved me instead of Taka. But I don't want to lose my brother or hurt him in any way. All my life I’ve felt like I was being torn in two directions. I can’t bear to lose both of you. Don't hate me for being truthful."

"I don't." She nuzzled him. "I've always known how you felt. You can't hide a thing like that."

"Maybe you don't love me the way I love you. At least you like me, don't you? I mean, I'll make sure you always have what you need. I'll take care of you. If you'll be my mate, I'll do anything for you--anything."

"Even forgive Taka?"

"You make it sound so hard. He’s my brother. I want him to come home."

"I need time to think about it, " Sarabi said.

Mufasa nodded. "Of course."

Excusing herself, Sarabi rose and padded away slowly. She wandered through the tall grass of the savanna alone with her thoughts. Everything had been simple once. Love had been a cub once, but now it was a lioness. A lioness who chooses as she wills the lion to desire and the lion to pity.

Now she was acutely aware that her love for Taka was a beautiful sisterly love, but one that did not need or even want to be expressed in passion. On the other hand, Muffy stirred feelings in her that were new and a little frightening, but very wonderful. Ever since Rafiki had whispered his advice to her, Sarabi said nothing to Mufasa but observed him carefully. She was flattered, honored, and even a little sad to think how he yearned for her but said nothing. Now he was gentle and kind, and he came to her with honest longing. She could hardly resist. She hardly wanted to. She desired him as she had never needed Taka, and it filled her with shame. Shame that if anyone had worked to earn her love, it had been Taka. Shame that her love could not be earned. Shame to think how she would destroy him when he found out.

Pity for Taka filled her. She strained to tell the difference between pity and love. Was there really such a gulf, that her heart so quick to cry at his bumps and scrapes could not beat in time with his? Is it really so different to be with one lion or the other? Can she not learn to love when her wild heart is tamed with vows? Can she feel the heat his ardor and not be warmed?

She tried to think of Taka coming to her in the shadows, flush with the expectations of his wedding night. She heard his quiet voice with an edge of passion asking, “Are you ready, beloved? Are you ready?” She imagined herself looking into his eyes the way they looked the last time he saw her, deep and longing. “I am ready.” Her heart raced, but it was fear, not desire. “No, I’m not ready! ” she said aloud. “I don’t want him! Not that way! Oh gods, he would know! ” She collapsed in the grass, sobbing. "Aiheu help me, I love them both, but I don’t want to marry Taka—I’d almost rather die! " She opened her eyes, seeing the savanna through a blurred film of tears. She blinked as a shadow passed overhead. Looking up, she saw Ahadi's majordomo gliding by.